Fear Of Falling
by Boo1
Summary: Sometimes, when your friends can't be there, you find help in unexpected places.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Fear Of Falling  
Category: Drama  
Rated: R, mostly for the graphic violence and the dark subject matter. The sexual situations are no worse than what you've seen on the show and the language is actually very mild. As always there's a reason for everything. And I wanted to try something very different this time.  
Spoilers: Takes place right after S5 Into The Woods so anything up to that point is fair game. And no matter what shipper you might be, see this fic to the end because it ain't what it seems and in more ways than one.  
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything and I doubt he'd want this.   
Special Thanks: To Jacqui, who inspired me to take a left instead of a right into the woods.  
Feedback: n. - the transfer of part of the output back to the input.   
  
PART ONE  
  
The door exploded inward, crashing against the wall at an odd angle with one hinge ripped from the wood frame. The young vampire turned and stared at the girl silhouetted in the doorway. It had taken much will power not to vamp out but he would not reveal himself. Not yet. He simply stood there, staring. And waiting. The room was tomblike in its stillness and neither one of them moved.  
  
She took a step into the dark room and he immediately noticed two things. The first was the iron rod she held by her side in her right hand. At least it's not wood, he thought. The other was that she was smiling. He stood stonelike, waiting for her to make the first move.   
  
In three steps she was in front of him, much faster than he had anticipated, swinging the iron rod in a vicious arc at his legs. He jumped up, raising his heels to hop over her attack but the blow caught him in the knee and he fell to the ground. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her drive the rod with two hands at his neck. Turning his head he thrust out his hand in a futile effort to block it. The rod pierced his palm and his left hand was driven into the floor.  
  
The vampire screamed in pain and his face changed to reveal the creature that he was. He tried to tear his hand free but the rod was firmly embedded in the floor. She fell on him, grabbing his other arm and slamming it to the ground, palm down. Before he could react his other arm was pinned down, held in place by a knife driven through his wrist. The Slayer straddled him, a knee on either arm. Spittle and foam flew from his mouth as he thrust his face at her, trying to bite. She grabbed his hair with two hands and smashed his head down on the floor once, twice, three times, each time harder than the last.  
  
Her fingers were covered in blood from the back of his skull. She gripped the sides of his head and glared at him, smiling. For the first time he felt afraid. He lashed out with his feet, trying to wrap his legs around her neck. Just for a moment he held her but she rolled to one side, breaking his hold. Again he tried to pull free his hands but couldn't. The Slayer placed a foot on his knee and grabbed his ankle, yanking upwards. His scream almost drowned out the loud snap of the bone giving way.   
  
She stood there, arms crossed, staring at him. His body trembled uncontrollably. He looked up at her and a chill ran through him as she again smiled at him. He felt her foot on his other knee and she knelt down and grabbed his foot. Closing his eyes, he promised himself that he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of screaming this time. Ever so slowly the Slayer raised his leg. And he didn't scream. At least not until he again heard the bone snap.  
  
He felt her straddle him again and he opened his eyes, not caring that tears ran freely down his cheeks. It didn't matter anymore that he was going to die. In fact, he welcomed it. But he needed to know, needed to understand.  
  
"Why?," he gasped, his voice barely a whisper.  
  
His question was met with laughter. Loud, cold and harsh, her laughter cut through him like the metal knife that burned his torn flesh. He felt the wooden stake press against his heart. She leaned against it, slowly increasing the pressure. He winced as it pierced his skin. The pain spread across his chest as the sharp point was eased into him. The fingers of his right hand dug at the floor, scratching deep lines into the bare wood and tearing the flesh under his nails. Raising his head up, he spit in the Slayer's face. She smiled and blew him a kiss, pressing down just a little harder on the stake. The vampire finally stopped squirming and exploded into ash.  
  
Buffy stood and wiped the spittle from her face with the back of her sleeve. She slid the stake into her back pocket and bent over to pull her knife free from the floor. Her eyes rested for a moment on the bloody lines clawed into the wood. She slipped the knife back into a sheath on her ankle.  
  
She looked around the empty room and walked over to the far wall, her footsteps echoing loudly and making the room seem larger than it was. The curtains were pulled aside on the picture window and a dull moonlight illuminated the room. Buffy stood in front of a closet door and tilted her head slightly.  
  
Buffy's right hand smashed through the closet door. Withdrawing her hand, she held a young girl by the hair and twisted her head so that she faced the Slayer. The girl was probably no more than sixteen or seventeen years old. Her eyes looked back at Buffy in sheer terror. Grabbing her hair with both hands now, Buffy drove down the girl's neck against the splintered wood, pulling downward and twisting. For a moment she held the girl's head in her hands before it burst into ash.  
  
Buffy was tired. And suddenly very hungry. She yawned and decided to call it a night.  
  
*****  
  
The eastern sky was just beginning to pale when Buffy got home. She sat on the roof outside her bedroom window and wondered when she had last done this. Probably back in high school, before her mother knew she was the Slayer. Using the front door was convenient but not as much fun. She gripped the window with both hands and slid it open. But she didn't go in. Buffy stared at her empty bed and thought about Riley, thought about waking up with him while he was still asleep, her arms around him, listening to him breathe...  
  
Buffy shut the window and left.  
  
*****   
  
"Thanks for letting me shower here, Giles. Kind of a messy patrol last night and I didn't want my mom to see...well, you know how she worries," shrugged Buffy, drying her hair left-handed with a towel. She was wearing a pair of light gray sweatpants and matching sweatshirt that she kept here for workouts with Giles.  
  
"Oh, and she won't be worried that you didn't come home last night?," asked Giles.  
  
"Nah, I'm a better schemer than that. I told her I was spending the night with Willow and Tara. Uh, not that I would ever lie to you, of course," added Buffy.  
  
"No, of course not," yawned Giles. "As I wouldn't lie to you."  
  
"So I did wake you up!," accused Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I already told you, I'm an early riser," replied Giles, his tone only half serious.  
  
"Uh-huh. You just don't get dressed right away. Uh, Giles? You are wearing something under that robe?"  
  
"Care for some tea?," asked Giles, changing the subject.  
  
"Sounds good," answered Buffy, rolling her eyes. She tossed her towel on the back of a chair and picked up a brush from the table but winced as she raised her arm to brush her hair.  
  
"You're hurt," said Giles. It was a statement, not a question.  
  
"No, it's nothing. Really. Got slammed into a wall and my arm's just a little sore, that's all. We should train some more this afternoon. Need to be on top of my game, you know?"  
  
Buffy tried again to raise her arm but gave up with a sigh.  
  
"Maybe I'll just let it dry naturally. You know, go for a new look?," said Buffy, avoiding eye contact with Giles.  
  
"Buffy, sit on the couch," said Giles, taking the brush from her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go on, sit down."  
  
Buffy hesitated but then sat down. Giles sat down next to her and she turned her back to him. He began to brush her hair, careful to pull very gently when the brush caught on a tangle. Buffy smiled to herself. They had spent countless hours training together and never shared such a simple gesture as having him brush her hair. And this wasn't like when Dawn brushed her hair or even Willow, as close as they were. This seemed so much more...intimate. She closed her eyes, enjoying the soothing rhythm of the brush as his hands slipped it through her hair.  
  
"Buffy, you've been pushing yourself very hard lately. Perhaps a little too hard."  
  
"Just doing my job," answered Buffy quickly, annoyed at the distraction.  
  
"No, it's more than that. You haven't been getting much sleep lately, have you?," asked Giles.  
  
"I'm...getting enough. It's just, well...there's been a lot of vamp activity lately. Comes in waves, you know? It'll calm down soon. Always does," said Buffy, glad that Giles couldn't see her face at the moment. She never found it easy to lie to him.  
  
Giles put his hand on her shoulder and felt her body stiffen at his touch. He ignored this and pulled at a stubborn snag with the brush.  
  
"So this has nothing to do with Riley leaving?," asked Giles softly.  
  
"Giles, I already told you..."  
  
"Buffy, pretend for a moment that I'm not your Watcher. Pretend that I'm your friend," sighed Giles, no longer brushing her hair. He withdrew his hand. Buffy looked back over her shoulder and saw, just for an instant, a hint of sadness in his eyes. She turned her shoulders to face him.  
  
"Giles. I don't have to pretend. You...you're so much more than a Watcher to me. You know that. Don't you?"  
  
"I'm sorry," nodded Giles. "I shouldn't...I'm just concerned, is all. If you're tired, or if you're distracted, well, then you're more likely to make a mistake in combat. And, as your Watcher, I need to..."  
  
"I know. And thanks. For being concerned. But I'm dealing, okay? I am. Just need a little time. To get used to the idea of him not being around. And, and it's better this way. It is. I mean, really, what kind of future could we have had? Slayers don't live forever."  
  
"No one does. It doesn't mean you can't be happy," replied Giles quickly.  
  
"I...," began Buffy. But she didn't know what to say. She looked down at her hands to avoid his gaze.  
  
"It's not all Riley, you know. I still feel this need, this urge to hunt. And it's getting stronger. Wish I could understand what that means. I wish...I wish I knew how to control that," said Buffy, looking up at Giles again.  
  
"Does it frighten you?," asked Giles.  
  
"Sometimes," admitted Buffy.  
  
"You've been under a lot of stress lately, with your mother being ill, fighting Glory, Riley leaving, protecting Dawn...Buffy, you need to step back a bit. To rest. To simply do something for yourself," added Giles, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. He slid them back into place. "Understand?"  
  
Buffy reluctantly nodded.  
  
"You, young lady, are tired," said Giles, standing up. "Lay down, on your stomach."  
  
Buffy knitted her eyebrows together and stared at him.  
  
"Go on, trust me. There are some skills I've picked up along the way that the Council never taught me."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes a little wider but stretched out face down on the couch, resting her head on a pillow. Giles knelt down beside her.  
  
"Close your eyes," said Giles.  
  
Buffy glanced up at him and smiled but didn't say anything. She closed her eyes. And felt his hands on the base of her neck. He began to gently knead her muscles.  
  
"Just as I thought, you're as tense as a piece of wood," said Giles, his fingers moving farther apart across her shoulder blades, working in ever widening circles.  
  
"Oh...wow. Giles, you've been...holding out on me. That...feels...incredible."  
  
Giles smiled and slowly worked down to her lower back. A minute or so later he again placed his hands at the base of her neck, massaging her this time more with the palms of his hands.  
  
"Giles, where on earth...did you learn to do this?," sighed Buffy. "This is great."  
  
"I'm entitled to a secret or two, am I not?," teased Giles.  
  
"Ah, mystery man," said Buffy, opening her eyes and smiling at him. "You know what would be even better? No, I'd better not. Never mind," laughed Buffy.  
  
"No, what is it?," asked Giles, smiling at hearing her laughter.  
  
"Well...turn around."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just turn around," repeated Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, are you blushing?"  
  
She frowned at him until he shrugged. Giles turned to face the other way.  
  
"Okay, you can turn around."  
  
Giles turned and raised one eyebrow. Buffy's sweatshirt lie on the ground and she was again lying face down on the couch. He ran one finger across her bare back.  
  
"Is this...I mean, are you..."  
  
"Shh. Close your eyes, Buffy," whispered Giles, placing his hands on her shoulder blades. "Trust me."  
  
"You know I do."   
  
Buffy smiled and slowly closed her eyes. He pushed her hair with the back of his hand off of her neck and over one shoulder, his fingertips brushing along her skin. Her hair was scented with vanilla and even though he had combed her hair before it was as if he had just became aware of this.  
  
"Your tea is getting cold," said Buffy.  
  
"I can make more."  
  
Giles started with her neck, again working out towards her shoulder blades. Once or twice Buffy moaned in approval of his ministrations. He worked his way down her back, all the while admiring the curve of her shoulder or how the small of her back rose ever so slightly to meet his embrace. The tenseness in Buffy's muscles slowly melted away.  
  
"You mustn't lose yourself in your work. That's what your friends are for," said Giles softly.  
  
Giles became aware that her breathing had slowed and was deeper.  
  
"Buffy?," called Giles softly. She didn't respond, confirming to him that she had fallen asleep. For a moment he just sat there, watching her and listening to her breathe.  
  
Giles got up and walked over to the closet. He came back and covered her with a blanket.  
  
*****   
  
Buffy stretched and blinked open her eyes.  
  
"Giles?," she called out.  
  
She turned her head and saw Willow sitting in the chair across from her. Willow had a big grin on her face but her eyes were full of mischief.  
  
"Afternoon, Buffy."  
  
"Afternoon? What time is it?," asked Buffy, wide eyed.  
  
"Well, it's just a few minutes past noon, actually. Interesting to see that you and Xander have something in common," teased Willow.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You both like getting up at the crack of noon," explained Willow.  
  
"Where's Giles?," asked Buffy, sitting up and realizing that her shirt was on the floor. "Uh, Will, this isn't what it looks like."  
  
"Why Buffy, what possibly could you mean? Just because I met Giles at his front door wearing nothing but a robe and a smile...just because you're lying there half naked, your clothes strewn about the room..."  
  
"Now hold on there, you. There was no strewing going on. I, well, Giles...see, he..."  
  
Willow couldn't help herself and burst out laughing.  
  
"You're enjoying this way too much, girl, you know that?," said Buffy, smiling herself. "It was completely innocent, I tell you. I was afraid my mom would see how bloody my clothes were from last night and freak out so I showered here. And Giles gave me a massage."  
  
"Oh, wow," said Willow, suddenly serious. "What happened?"  
  
"Nothing. I fell asleep," replied Buffy. She let the blanket slide from her shoulders, reached down and pulled her sweatshirt over her head. Buffy noticed that Willow didn't look away while she was getting dressed.  
  
"No, silly. Last night. Did you get hurt?," asked Willow.  
  
"Oh. Nah, my arm's a little sore is all. Killed me four vamps so it was a good night. It was a few steps this side of messy, though. Hence the wash and dry. And by the way, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I called your house. Luckily Dawn answered. You know, if you're going to tell your mom that you're spending the night with me you might want to let me in on the alibi," frowned Willow.  
  
"Oops. Sorry."  
  
"Anyway, I wanted to take you out to lunch, maybe do some shopping. Spend some quality girl time together. Figured you might be here and I told Giles I'd stay so he could go to work."  
  
"Sounds...great. Really. But I did promise to train with Giles today. I should..."  
  
"He gave you the day off. Said you earned it. So unless you'd rather do the much ignored of late homework, you're out of excuses," said Willow firmly.  
  
Buffy smiled. And then she looked down at what she was wearing.  
  
"We'd better swing by my house first so that I can change."  
  
"As if that was ever in doubt. You think I'd be seen in public with you dressed like that?," smiled Willow. Buffy threw a pillow at her but Willow ducked.  
  
"So, a massage is now part of your new and improved training regimen?," asked Willow eagerly.  
  
"I hope so! Willow, there's more to this librarian than we've been led to believe. His fingers were so...I mean, it was incredible. And, and...and you're getting that grin on your face again!"  
  
Willow didn't say anything but smiled even more.  
  
"We should go," said Buffy. Willow nodded. Buffy stood and slowly folded the blanket, holding it against her chest. She absently rested a hand on her shoulder and her thoughts drifted back to Giles and how his fingers felt on her skin. Buffy smiled.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy raised her hand to knock on his door but stopped herself. For a moment she just stood there. Leaning to one side, she peered into the window, setting the shopping bag down on the porch.  
  
The table was set with a single plate, a cloth napkin perfectly folded beside it. Fine silverware had been placed on the table and the light from a single candle flickered off a crystal glass that was half filled with a red wine. Very proper and entirely British, thought Buffy. That he would go to so much trouble to set the table that way when he was dining alone...and it struck her like a fist into her stomach how alone Giles was. Alone because he was her Watcher.  
  
Giles set a glass on the table and filled it with water, pouring it from a pitcher. He thought he heard a noise, maybe someone at the door. Setting the pitcher down he walked to the door and opened it. There was no one there.   
  
*****  
  
The girl tried to crawl but could only move by dragging one leg behind her. The bloody shin bone of her left leg protruded through her pant leg and her left foot was bent at an impossible angle. She grabbed at tombstones to help pull her along, wincing at the effort. And then she heard the blonde girl laugh.  
  
Glancing over her shoulder, she ducked just in time, avoiding being kicked in the face by a bootheel. The blow went over her head and cracked the edge of a stone cross atop a grave, leaving a sharp edge where before the cross had been squared off. She was lifted up roughly by her shoulders and she suddenly realized that the kick she had avoided had never been meant for her. Buffy drove the girl's body down and she screamed out in agony as the top of the cross burst through her shoulder and stuck out through her jacket just above the collarbone.  
  
The Slayer stepped back and smiled as the girl writhed in pain, trying in vain to free herself. Smoke rose from her back as the cross began to burn flesh. Buffy knelt down and picked up a baseball bat from the damp grass. The bat shattered in two as she smashed it into the girl's kneecap. The young vampire broke free of the cross and collapsed onto her back, her body shaking in spasms of agony.  
  
"Thought this might come in handy. Wouldn't want you running away from me, you know? But what can I possibly do with a broken bat that just happens to be made of wood?," asked Buffy, running a finger over the pointy splinters on the end of the bat.  
  
The girl looked up at Buffy, tears running down her face from her yellow eyes. There was an ugly bruise on the side of her face and a deep gash above one eye. With one hand she gripped her blouse and ripped it open, exposing the white flesh above her heart.  
  
"Oh, no," laughed Buffy, "you don't get off that easy."  
  
Buffy dropped the broken handle and knelt down on the chest of the vampire. She reached up weakly with one hand in an effort to grab the Slayer's throat. Buffy simply grabbed her wrist and wrenched her arm backwards, feeling a satisfying pop as her arm tore free from the shoulder socket. The girl shut her eyes and cried even harder.   
  
Buffy let the creature's now useless arm fall to one side and reached into her jacket, withdrawing a glass bottle. She shifted her weight to pin down her other arm with one knee and unscrewed the top of the bottle.  
  
"Tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you a deal. You tell me where your boyfriend is and I'll make sure he dies a much less painful death than you're about to experience. You don't tell me, and I'll have him begging me for release hours before I'll stake him. This must be your lucky night. So, what's it going to be?," asked Buffy, letting a drop of the holy water splash down upon the girl's forehead. She heard the flesh sizzle but the girl barely flinched. Buffy wondered if she was beyond the point of feeling any more pain.  
  
"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?," asked Buffy, smiling. She forced the girl's mouth open and poured some water onto her tongue. The girl moaned loudly and turned her head.  
  
"Hey, here's another question for you. Ever been paid by a human to suck his blood? Answer me! You get off on that kind of thing?," demanded Buffy.  
  
"Please...just kill me...please, I'm begging you," whimpered the girl.  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"Nah. I like your spunk, kid. I'm going to give you a fighting chance. The sun'll be up soon. If you can find your way to shelter, I'll let you live. But you better hurry. Not going to cover much ground pulling yourself along with one arm."  
  
Buffy stood up. And drove her heel down onto the girl's hand, snapping the bones in several fingers. The girl screamed out again.  
  
"Notice I said arm, not hand," hissed Buffy. The girl looked up at her and Buffy tossed the remaining holy water into her eyes. The girl screamed even louder.  
  
"Have fun," snickered Buffy.   
  
Buffy walked away and didn't look back. So she never saw Spike watching them from behind a pine tree. He took one last drag on his cigarette and tossed it onto the ground, grinding it out under his heel. Walking over to the girl he knelt down and picked up the broken handle of the bat. She covered her eyes with her disfigured hand and her body quivered in pain.  
  
"Lie still," whispered Spike. "I'm here to help."  
  
The girl didn't seem to hear him. With a shrug Spike drove the splintered bat into her chest. The vampire exploded into ash. Spike stood and looked in the direction Buffy had gone, slowly shaking his head.  
  
END OF PART ONE   
  
PART TWO  
  
Anya handed the girl her change and closed the register drawer.  
  
"Thank you for your patronage. Come back again. And soon," added Anya with a smile as the girl walked away. Anya sighed.  
  
"What?," asked Xander, leaning on the counter.  
  
"It's not right," complained Anya. "I feel...I feel naughty, but in a dirty way."  
  
"Uh, Anya, with you that's usually a good. And since we already...I mean, this morning...okay, what are we talking about here?," sighed Xander.  
  
"Smiling."  
  
Xander stared at her, obviously clueless.  
  
"I have to smile at the customers. And I don't even know them! It's just so...phony."  
  
"Ah," smiled Xander, beginning to understand.  
  
"Just like in my demon days," continued Anya.  
  
Xander resumed his clueless staring.  
  
"See, I would smile at the males I was going to curse. Flirt with them, make them relax, make them trust me, just so that I could, well, you know..."  
  
"Ah," repeated Xander. "Anya, it's okay. Really. Capitalism, and retail in particular, is like that. You gotta screw the customer, in the literal sense, mind you, while making him want to come back for more. It's a time honored practice. But...it's nice to see that you feel a little guilty about. Shows me that you're growing as a person," said Xander leaning over for a kiss. Anya stopped pouting and eagerly put her lips on his.  
  
"So then you don't mind if I flirt with the customers?," whispered Anya, keeping her face close to his.  
  
"Uh, maybe I should explain this a little better," said Xander.  
  
"You two want to get a room?," snipped Buffy, suddenly standing behind Xander, startling him.  
  
"Oh, hey Buffy. Morning," smiled Xander.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes.  
  
"Do you ever give it a rest?," asked Buffy.  
  
"It?," repeated Anya, glancing at Xander's pants.  
  
"The groping and pawing. I mean, come on, you're like two high school kids!," laughed Buffy.  
  
"Excuse me, where are my manners? I haven't introduced you yet. Anya, this is Buffy. Buffy, meet Anya. The girl that I am deeply in love with," said Xander. Anya smiled appreciatively.  
  
"The girl...," began Buffy. She covered her mouth to stop from laughing. "I'm sorry. It's just...oh my God, you're serious, aren't you? So this is more than just a distraction?," asked Buffy, glancing at Anya. Anya stopped smiling.  
  
"Buffy...," said Xander, getting upset.   
  
"Wow. I, uh...I don't know what to say! Where's Giles?," asked Buffy, looking around.  
  
"Excuse me," announced Anya, quickly walking away. Xander turned and glared at Buffy.  
  
"What?," demanded Buffy.  
  
Xander ignored her and went after Anya.  
  
"Fine! I'll find him myself," sighed Buffy. There was only one customer in the store, a man about Giles' age, so she assumed Giles was in back. Just then Willow walked into the store, holding hands with Tara. The man looked up from a book he was reading and saw the girls but quickly turned away. Buffy noticed the look of disgust on his face and she was glad neither Willow nor Tara had seen it.  
  
Willow waved hi to her and Buffy smiled. Buffy turned to go look for Giles and almost bumped into him as he came out of the back room.   
  
"Giles!"  
  
"Buffy. You didn't...I mean, I thought you would stop by last night, or at least call. Before patrol, that is," explained Giles.  
  
"Yeah, about that. I, um, I'm sorry, I know I should've at least called, but, see, Willow and I, we took a little longer at the mall than I thought, and..."  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to explain. I was just concerned. How did patrol go?"  
  
"Oh. Same old. A little slow, in fact. I think the word on the street is that the Slayer has stepped things up a notch or two. The vamps are getting scarce and it's getting harder to find something to kill," frowned Buffy.  
  
"Well, perhaps a nice juicy demon will come along for you tonight," smiled Giles.  
  
"We can only hope," said Buffy excitedly.  
  
"Um, actually that was an example of mild sarcasm," said Giles. "I'm happy that things are quiet for you. You could use a break, rest up some."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Um, where's Anya? Why isn't she at the register?," asked Giles, looking around the shop.  
  
"I think she's in the ladies' room. Like that little slut is a lady," said Buffy under her breath.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Oh, nothing. Giles, I wanted to ask you..."  
  
"Just a moment, Buffy. There's a customer that might need assistance," said Giles.  
  
"Who, that creepy old guy? He should know his way around the shop. I've seen him in here before. Can you say get a life? You know, a few days ago he bumped into me and didn't even apologize. Probably trying to cop a feel," complained Buffy. Giles just stared at her for a moment.  
  
"Buffy, that's Mr. O'Flynn. He's a regular here and by definition a regular spends money here on a regular basis. We like to encourage that. And as far as being old, I believe that I'm a year or two older than he. Excuse me," said Giles, walking over to greet Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Oh. Giles, I didn't mean...damn!," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Hey, Buffy. Something wrong?," asked Willow.  
  
"You mean besides putting my foot in my mouth?," asked Buffy, not looking at her but watching Giles.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nothing. Hi Tara."  
  
"Hi Buffy," smiled Tara.  
  
"Wearing that new peasant top already, huh?," asked Willow.  
  
"Yeah, I wanted to look nice for...so, what are you two up to?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Just hanging," shrugged Willow. Tara nodded in agreement.  
  
"Where's Anya?," asked Tara. Just then Anya walked out of the back room, followed by Xander.  
  
"Morning...," began Willow. But Anya walked past them without looking at them. She began to straighten up books on a shelf at the other end of the shop.  
  
"Xander, is something wrong? Anya looked like she had been crying," said Willow.  
  
"I'll be in back. I suddenly feel the need for a workout," announced Buffy, quickly walking away. Xander stared at her back as she left.  
  
"Xander?," repeated Willow.  
  
"It's nothing," shrugged Xander. Willow put her hands on her hips and tilted her head slightly. Xander knew that look.  
  
"Okay, okay. Anya was upset. See, I told Buffy that I loved her," said Xander.  
  
"Xander, you know how jealous Anya can get!," exclaimed Willow.  
  
"Will, I told Buffy that I loved Anya. And she laughed at us," sighed Xander.  
  
"Oh! Oh, Xander, that's so sweet! Really? Wow, that's...she did what!?," yelped Willow.  
  
"You heard me. She called Anya a distraction."  
  
"Xander, maybe she's just wigged over Riley leaving. You know, the whole jealous over happy couples thingy," offered Tara.  
  
"Maybe," grunted Xander, still not mollified.   
  
"Still, that's harsh," said Willow. She took a step towards the hall to follow Buffy but Xander grabbed her arm.  
  
"Let her be," he said, shaking his head. Willow reluctantly nodded in agreement.  
  
"Xander, that's great. I'm really happy for you," said Willow, smiling.  
  
"Thanks," replied Xander, returning her smile.  
  
Just then Tara stumbled forward. Mr. O'Flynn had bumped into her and now caught himself from falling by firmly grabbing Willow's wrist. Willow noticed that he had some kind of green snake tattoo on his forearm.  
  
"Oh, excuse me! I'm terribly sorry! So clumsy of me," apologized Mr. O'Flynn. Tara had regained her balance and now grabbed his wrist to help steady him. She instantly let go and stepped away from him, her eyes open wide. Willow gave her a concerned look.  
  
"Again, my apologies. I must have tripped," said Mr. O'Flynn, standing up straight now.  
  
"No problem," said Willow, her eyes darting from him to Tara. Xander knelt down and picked up a book he had dropped, handing it to him.  
  
"Thank you," said Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Are you alright?," asked Giles, now standing behind Tara.  
  
"Yes. A little embarrassed is all. I'll pay for this now, Mr. Giles," said Mr. O'Flynn, handing him the book.  
  
"Of course," replied Giles, taking the book and walking behind the counter to the register. Willow tugged at Tara's sleeve and pulled her aside. Xander followed them.  
  
"What?," whispered Willow.  
  
"I don't know. I felt something, like a shock," said Tara softly.  
  
"I didn't, and he touched me," shrugged Willow.  
  
"You know, I've read about things like this. He might be very powerful with magicks," suggested Tara.  
  
"A warlock?," asked Xander, looking over at Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Tara, are you okay?," asked Willow.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I just don't think he expected me to touch him."  
  
They all watched Mr. O'Flynn as he walked towards the door. He hesitated and then turned to look at them. Xander suddenly remembered he wanted to ask Anya something and Tara quickly turned away. Only Willow stood there, returning his stare. Mr. O'Flynn smiled, nodded at her and left the shop.  
  
*****  
  
"I really don't like this time of year. It gets dark too early," said Willow, staring out the window. Tara stood behind her with her arms wrapped around Willow's waist and her head resting on her shoulder.  
  
"Yes, but it does give one an excuse to go to bed earlier," smiled Tara.   
  
"So, we need an excuse now?," asked Willow with a grin as she turned to face Tara.  
  
"I hope not," answered Tara.  
  
Willow reached up and ran her face along Tara's cheek, letting her hair slip through her fingers as she pushed it back over her ear. There was a knock at the door. Willow frowned, walked over to the door and opened it. Spike stood there, one arm resting on the doorframe.  
  
"Spike!"  
  
"Evening, ladies. Sorry to bother you. Okay, maybe I'm not," shrugged Spike. "But there's something I want to show you. Aren't you going to invite me in?"  
  
"Sorry, it's not up to me," said Willow, turning to face Tara.  
  
"Uh, let me think about it. No," said Tara.  
  
"There you have it," said Willow.  
  
"Fair enough. But we don't have a lot of time. Oh, and you both might want to bring a cross. Just in case things get a bit dicey," said Spike.  
  
"Spike..."  
  
"Red, trust me on this one. You want to see this."  
  
*****  
  
The three of them hid behind a large tombstone. Down the hill from them was Buffy, surrounded by three vampires. They slowly circled her, each waiting for a chance to lunge in at her.  
  
"Spike, we got here just in time. She needs our help," whispered Willow. Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
"No, she doesn't. This is one of the smallest groups she's taken on in the past week. Just watch."  
  
"You...you've been following her?," asked Tara.  
  
"Uh, no. No, of course not. Why would I? It's just...word on the street, you know? Not much goes on in this sleepy little burg without old Spike hearin' about it."  
  
Willow gave him a strange look before turning her attention back to the fight. Buffy threw something down at the feet of one of the vampires. She waved her other hand in the same direction and an instant later the vamp burst into flames. So they still fall for the old gasoline and lighter trick, thought Willow. The other two stood their ground as Buffy drew a stake from her jacket. And then she did something that made Willow's jaw drop open in amazement. Buffy tossed the stake onto the ground, out of her reach. She waved her arms towards herself, daring the larger of the two vamps to come at her. And he did.  
  
He flung himself at her, wrapping his arms around the Slayer. Instead of driving her down onto the ground he stood there, lifting her up with her arms pinned to her sides. And he squeezed. Even Spike winced at the sound of several of Buffy's ribs cracking. Her legs flailed uselessly at him. Willow stood to go help her but Spike grabbed her wrist.  
  
Buffy did the only thing she could do. She drove her forehead into his nose. He roared in pain and dropped her. She rolled on the ground and reached her stake just as the vampire dove at her. He landed on top of her and exploded in a cloud of ash.  
  
The lone remaining vampire was suddenly joined by two others. They looked at the Slayer as she staggered to her feet. And they turned and ran. Holding her side, Buffy stumbled after them.  
  
"Willow, what the hell has come over her?," asked Tara.  
  
"Please. This is nothing. You should've seen..."  
  
Spike stopped, frozen by the look Willow gave him.  
  
"You're right, of course. Something's seriously not right with blondie. And I thought her cardboard soldier boy had a death wish!," sighed Spike.  
  
"You knew about this and didn't say anything?," growled Willow.  
  
"Hey, I brought you here tonight, didn't I? What am I now, her best friend?," answered Spike.  
  
"Spike, take Tara home."  
  
"What?," yelled both Spike and Tara at the same time.  
  
"Do it!," snapped Willow, pulling a cross from her back pocket. "I'm going after her."   
  
*****  
  
It didn't take long for Willow to catch up to Buffy. It didn't seem as if the Slayer was able to run very fast. Buffy had turned right past a building and Willow peered around the corner. And saw an empty alley. Then she saw Buffy's jacket lying on the ground beside a manhole cover and figured out where she had gone.  
  
Willow walked over to the sewer cover and listened but heard nothing. She sat down. And waited. She was cold so she pulled Buffy's jacket on. It began to drizzle.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy was barely able to push the manhole cover aside. Her body trembled in protest as she pulled herself up and out of the sewer. She collapsed onto her side, wincing in pain with one hand pressed up against her ribs. It had stopped raining and the cold asphalt was soothing to her face. Her breath hung white in shallow, rapid gasps before her. Buffy opened one eye...and saw a pair of legs not more than an arm's length away from her. She reached for her only remaining stake in her back pocket of her jeans but her hand couldn't firmly grasp the wood and the stake clattered onto the ground.  
  
Buffy looked up. And smiled. She rolled onto her back, took the hand that was offered to her and was pulled to her feet.  
  
"Thanks, Will."  
  
Buffy leaned forward, hands on her knees, catching her breath.  
  
"But...you really shouldn't...be out here...alone," panted Buffy.  
  
"I have a cross," replied Willow. "Uh, Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah?," said Buffy, looking up.  
  
Willow slapped Buffy hard across her right cheek with the back of her hand. Buffy stood up straight, one hand on her cheek and her mouth wide open.  
  
"Do I have your attention now!? Are you listening to me!?," barked Willow. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Alone, outnumbered and fighting in tight quarters...you wouldn't have made that mistake when you were sixteen! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Do you want to die!?," screamed Willow.   
  
Buffy slowly lowered her hand and just stared at her friend.  
  
"And, and...and ow, that hurt!," added Willow, shaking her hand.  
  
"Willow," said Buffy softly. She reached out to touch her but Willow pulled away, glaring at her. And then Willow's lower lip twitched and she seemed on the verge of tears.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong? This is more than just Riley leaving."  
  
As soon as Willow said his name Buffy turned her head and looked away.  
  
"Buffy, you promised...no more secrets. Remember? Do you? Or was that just a lie?"  
  
"No! No...it wasn't a lie," agreed Buffy, again staring at Willow.   
  
"Okay, well, now I should storm off. You know, big dramatic exit, make you come running after me which I really hope you would do 'cause I'm all creeped out now and I, I kinda want you to walk me home now and why do I keep repeating the word now? And a very tired Slayer is still better in a fight than one angry, premenstrual wiccan who's had one cup too many of coffee. And don't you for a minute blame what I said on caffeine," warned Willow, wagging a finger at Buffy.  
  
Buffy smiled sadly and held out her hand.  
  
"I'm sorry. Walk with me," said Buffy.  
  
Willow exhaled, puffing up her bangs as she did. She took Buffy's hand. Buffy stooped down, picked up her stake and slid it into her back pocket. They walked almost two blocks, neither of them speaking or looking at one another, each other's hand their only bond for the moment. It began to rain again.  
  
"Nice jacket," commented Buffy. "I think I have one just like it."  
  
"Oh, hey, you want it back? You must be cold," said Willow, unzipping the windbreaker.  
  
"No, keep it. I don't need it," said Buffy.  
  
"I'm sorry," whispered Willow. "I shouldn't have hit you."  
  
"Nah, I...I think I deserved it."  
  
"It's not just about Riley, is it?," asked Willow, her voice small. She felt Buffy's grip tighten slightly on her hand.  
  
"Honestly? I don't know. But let's start with him. Xander was right, all along. And so was Spike," laughed Buffy.  
  
"Okay, Xander being right, big headline there, hold the presses and all...but Xander and Spike? In agreement?," asked Willow, raising her eyebrows. "This is worse than I feared."  
  
"Remember...remember when Xander was possessed by the spirit of the hyena?"  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
"He said something then that I never forgot. He said..."  
  
Buffy exhaled and shook her head.  
  
"He...they both said that I wanted danger. That I liked my men dangerous. And mean. Like Angel."  
  
"Buffy, Angel wasn't mean," complained Willow.  
  
"No? You saw what was in him," countered Buffy.  
  
"Yes, but that was Angelus, not...it wasn't his fault."  
  
"No, it was mine. There's a lot of truth in what they said. Will, there's something I haven't told you yet."  
  
Buffy ignored Willow's pouting. Willow stopped walking and let go of Buffy's hand.  
  
"See, I am alone. History doesn't lie, we...Slayers...don't live that long. So I don't think about the happily-ever-after stuff. I live for the moment. Can, can you understand that? Really understand?," pleaded Buffy.  
  
Willow thought for a moment and then shrugged.  
  
"I didn't think about it, I just knew, on some level, that I could never give Riley what he wanted, so...so I never committed my heart to him. I never gave myself over to him, completely and without hesitation. I held back. And only now am I beginning to understand what I did. What I lost," added Buffy, beginning to cry. Willow stepped towards her and they hugged.  
  
"Will, he made me feel safe. But that's not what I am. He wanted to know...Riley wanted to know what hold Angel and Dracula had over me. It's that I'm like them, my strength comes from a very dark place. I kill."  
  
Buffy leaned her head back and stared into Willow's eyes.  
  
"And I get off on it," whispered Buffy.  
  
Willow pulled away from her and Buffy saw a fleeting glimpse of fear in her eyes.   
  
"No. You're a Slayer. It's, it's different! It is! Kill or be killed, right? I mean, okay, oversimplified much, but..."  
  
Buffy slowly shook her head.  
  
"I can't make you understand," cried Buffy.  
  
"But what you kill doesn't have a soul!," said Willow.  
  
"That doesn't matter! I'm tired of being alone. And if what I just said doesn't scare you, then maybe this will," said Buffy, stepping close to Willow. Her face was so close to Willow's that she could feel Buffy's breath on her lips.  
  
"I asked Spike how he managed to kill two Slayers. And his answer was so simple that I believe him. They wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish. See, it never ends. Every day I wake up could be the day that I die. And part of me wants it...to find peace. My friends, my family, they keep me anchored. It's why I've lasted this long. But I am alone."  
  
"You're not alone! We're here! Buffy, I'm here. And Giles, and Xander...remember the enjoining spell? We're part of you now and deep down you know that," said Willow.  
  
"Then why do I feel like this? No, the first Slayer was right. I live in the action of death. The blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute. And alone. Oh so alone," sniffed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy..."  
  
"This is what I am. I'm no different than Spike, or Angelus. In fact, I'm worse. I have a soul. And yet I need to kill. I want to! Hell, I crave it!," screamed Buffy.  
  
Willow just stood there with her eyes wide open.   
  
"Why do I bother? You don't get it and you never will," snapped Buffy, her voice full of contempt. She turned and began to walk away from Willow.  
  
"Buffy, wait!"  
  
Buffy kept walking.  
  
"Hey!," yelled Willow. Buffy stopped but didn't look back at her. Willow ran to catch up with her.  
  
"It's me. Willow. I'm trying, I really am. Just give me a chance, okay? This is all new territory we're covering here. I need a little time, you know? To let it all sink in."  
  
"Time? You're not listening. I. Don't. Have. Time!," yelled Buffy, enunciating each word sharply. Willow recoiled at how harsh her words were. "Just...leave me alone, damn it!"  
  
Buffy stormed away. Willow watched her go, tears streaming down her face. It began to rain again.  
  
*****  
  
Giles thought he had heard a knock on his door. He had been lying in bed, unable to fall asleep, simply staring at the ceiling, listening to the rain. And trying not to think. He threw on his robe and glanced at the clock. It was just past three in the morning. He descended the stairs realizing that if someone had knocked on the door they hadn't done so again. Giles gripped the handle and flung open the door.  
  
"Buffy!," cried Giles, inhaling sharply.  
  
She looked up at him, her lower lip trembling. Her hair was plastered flat against her skin and her clothes were soaked through. She wasn't even wearing a jacket and she wrapped her arms around herself, shivering against the cold. He could see that she was desperately trying not to cry.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong?," yelled Giles, louder than he meant to.  
  
Buffy took a step towards him and her knees gave out. Giles caught her and pulled her inside, kicking the door shut behind them. He grabbed her firmly by one shoulder and slipped his arm under her knees, lifting her and carrying her to the couch.   
  
"Are you hurt?," asked Giles, gently laying her down on the couch. Buffy nodded and held him against her when he tried to let go.  
  
"No, please...please just hold me. Giles...hold me," begged Buffy, now sobbing. She pressed her face against his chest.  
  
"Buffy, I don't understand. What can I do?"  
  
Buffy couldn't speak so he just held her, letting her cry for a few minutes.  
  
"Buffy, you're chilled to the bone. You have to get out of these wet clothes and under some blankets." Giles voice was calm but full of concern. Buffy pulled her head back and looked up at him, nodding.  
  
"You...you'll have to help me. I think I busted a few ribs. It, it hurts to raise my arms," sniffed Buffy, easing herself into a sitting position.  
  
"Okay," agreed Giles hesitantly. He suddenly seemed unsure of what to do.  
  
"Giles, it's alright. I trust you. I...I always have," whispered Buffy. She took one of his hands and placed it on the hem of her blouse, then, wincing, raised her arms. Giles grabbed the other side of her blouse with his other hand and lifted. He only hesitated once when he realized that she was staring at him right in the eye. She gave him just the slightest smile of encouragement.  
  
He pulled the blouse upwards as gently as he could and yet Buffy still cried out once in a gasp of pain. She wasn't wearing a bra and when Giles noticed this he looked away, tossing the blouse on the floor behind them. He stood to go get her a blanket but felt her grab his wrist firmly.  
  
"Giles, I'm cold. Just hold me. Please?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I..."  
  
Giles froze, seeing how intently Buffy was staring at him and how sad her eyes seemed. How incredibly sad. Without realizing what was happening he allowed Buffy to pull him down on the couch next to him. She threw her arms around his waist and pulled him against her, ignoring the pain that flared up along her side. He wrapped his arms around her back and his fingers felt to her like stabs of fire against her cold skin.  
  
"Giles, the others, they don't know, they can't understand..."  
  
"Understand what?," asked Giles.  
  
"How alone I am. Or, or how scared I am. But you know. You can understand, I know you can. And only you. Because...," said Buffy, tilting her head back to look at him, "because I know you're lonely too. I know what you've given up, what you've sacrificed for me. For me," repeated Buffy softly, her voice small.  
  
"Buffy, what happened tonight?"  
  
Buffy ignored his question, reached up and removed his glasses. He didn't stop her. She made no effort to cover her breasts so Giles kept her close with his arms, trying to avoid looking down at her.  
  
"I almost lost myself tonight, Giles. I just gave in to it, I, I just let go. And it was so intense...I became this force, this unstoppable urge. To kill. Dracula was right. About the source of my power, I mean. Wherever it comes from, its roots are dark."  
  
"Has this ever happened before?"  
  
"Once," Buffy nodded. "With Faith, in a fight when we were outnumbered. But that time it felt...it was good, it felt right. And it's how I survived that night. But this..."  
  
Buffy suddenly looked terrified. Her sudden mood swing even frightened Giles.  
  
"Giles, I can't control it. It just overtakes me. And, you see, the thing is...I like it. I crave it now. Giles, I can't become like Faith. People need me," whimpered Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I won't let anything happen to you. Not if it's in my power to stop it. I promise you," said Giles, holding her just a little tighter.  
  
"I know, Giles. I know," whispered Buffy. "And I need you. I need you to anchor me here, to hold me in this reality. Just...just to hold me," said Buffy, her voice so low it was barely a whisper. She reached up and caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand. Her touch was like ice on his warm skin. There was a moment when they simply looked at one another. And then Buffy thrust her lips onto his, kissing him hard.  
  
At first Giles didn't react. Then he closed his eyes and returned her embrace. Buffy responded, kissing him harder and pushing him back against the couch. He slid his hands down along her sides, stopping at the curve of her breasts.  
  
"Buffy," said Giles softly.  
  
"Giles, I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm scared. And it's alright. Really. I need you. Can you understand that?," pleaded Buffy.  
  
Giles didn't say anything.  
  
"Don't you need me?," asked Buffy, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.  
  
"Yes. Yes, I do," nodded Giles, but almost immediately regretting his words. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Buffy, but could he give her this? Should he?  
  
Buffy picked up on his hesitation and closed her eyes. And then she felt his lips on hers. Giles slipped a hand behind her head to bring her closer to him. Buffy pushed against him and he fell back on the couch with her on top of him. Her hands opened his robe and she ran them along his chest.  
  
"Giles?," asked Buffy, pulling away with a smile.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm freezing. Help me out of these pants."  
  
It was Giles turn to smile.  
  
END OF PART TWO  
  
PART THREE  
  
Buffy smiled and stretched, her arm reaching out...and her eyes flew open as she realized that she was alone. The sunlight was bright coming through the window but she wasn't sure what time it was. Then she noticed the note lying on his pillow. And Buffy smiled. His words were curved in such elegant style, the letters so precisely formed that she knew this wasn't a rushed note. He had thought about this.  
  
Buffy. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here when you awoke. I know I should have been, but you needed your sleep. It was wonderful to simply hold you and watch you breathe. Words need to be spoken but not here, not now. Soon. I'll be at the shop. Giles.  
  
Buffy closed her eyes, all the nervousness and anxiety about what the morning would bring draining from her. She rolled over onto his pillow, slowly inhaling the scent of his hair. She ran her hand over the sheet where he had slept. And even though she thought she might cry, Buffy smiled.  
  
*****  
  
Anya was counting the start up money in the register drawer, getting ready to start the day. Giles was standing behind her, double checking his inventory sheet. The front bell jingled as the door was opened. Anya looked up and smiled.  
  
"Morning, Willow," said Anya.  
  
"Giles, we need to talk!," barked Willow, quickly walking towards them.  
  
"Um, of course. Just a moment," replied Giles absently, not looking up from his paper.  
  
"In the back. Now!," finished Willow, walking past them without a glance. She now had his full attention.  
  
"Um...yes dear," mumbled Giles.  
  
"Giles, can you see me? Did one of Willow's spells go south again? Am I invisible?," asked Anya, staring at Willow's back.  
  
Giles ignored her, tossed the sheet of paper onto the counter and followed Willow down the hall. Anya's eyes opened wide and she reached for her purse, fumbling through it until she found her compact and mirror. Opening it, she sighed with relief upon seeing her reflection.   
  
"Wait. What if I can see myself but they can't see me?," winced Anya.  
  
Giles entered the training room. Willow was already standing there facing him with her arms crossed and looking upset.  
  
"Shut the door," commanded Willow. Giles hesitated, looked at Willow once, twice...and then shut the door.  
  
"Do you know why I'm here?," asked Willow, very agitated.  
  
"Um, well no, not..."  
  
"I'll tell you why. It's about last night."  
  
"Last night?," repeated Giles suspiciously.  
  
"See, the thing is...how do I say this so that you'll understand?," sighed Willow.  
  
"Perhaps expressing yourself...with words...perhaps," said Giles, forcing a smile.  
  
"It's about Buffy," said Willow.  
  
"Oh dear."  
  
"She's been doing things she shouldn't be doing," continued Willow.  
  
"Oh?," said Giles nervously.  
  
"That she has never done before," added Willow.  
  
"Yes, well..."  
  
"I mean, she has, of course. Done them. But she's never taken it to this extreme," said Willow, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"Is it, is it really that far fetched?," asked Giles. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Giles, she's going to get hurt. Seriously hurt."  
  
Giles put his glasses back on.  
  
"Honestly, Willow, just because..."  
  
"Giles, I was watching. I saw what happened."  
  
"You...you were watching?," asked Giles, aghast.  
  
"And Buffy knew it, too."  
  
"She...Buffy knew it?," repeated Giles, his eyes opening just a little bit wider.  
  
"Well, not at the time, of course. But when I confronted her about it she didn't deny it," said Willow, nodding her head once to show her conviction.  
  
"Oh. That's...then it's for the best. To have it out in the open," said Giles.  
  
"I think so. But what are we going to do about it?"  
  
"You were watching?," said Giles, more to himself than Willow. He wasn't looking at her at the moment.  
  
"Oh, I know! We'll tell her mom. Maybe that will bring her to her senses."  
  
"Tell...Willow, is that really necessary?"  
  
"Oh, no, you're right. So soon after the operation and all. Why upset her mom? Still, we have to do something! It's just not like Buffy to do this. It's like she's under a spell or something. What she's doing...it's just not natural!"  
  
"Not...now hold on, Willow. I'm standing right here. Let's not talk about this in the third person," frowned Giles.  
  
Willow stared at him.  
  
"Giles, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Um, well, I...what are you talking about?"  
  
""Last night. Buffy. Stay with me here."  
  
Willow began pacing around the room.  
  
"She's taking chances that wouldn't have before. It must have something to do with Riley's leaving. I saw her throw her stake onto the ground, just daring this huge vampire to tackle her. Which he did, I might add. And then, even though she was injured, she chased at least three vampires down a sewer hole! Who knows how many more were down there? Giles, she got away. Barely. Buffy could hardly stand up, let alone walk."  
  
Giles stared at Willow, expressionless. He finally raised one eyebrow and exhaled deeply.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And...well, Buffy was real mean to me, too. Said some pretty harsh stuff. Maybe, I hope, she's just exhausted from all the stress in her life and her not getting much sleep. I mean, wow, where do we start? There's the lack of Riley and her mom's operation, Glory kicking her butt not once but twice...,"  
  
It took Giles a moment to realize that Willow was crying.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't get any sleep. Giles, she always tells me everything. At least, at least I thought she did," sniffed Willow, looking up at Giles. He reached out and held her to him, if only so he didn't have to look into the emptiness he saw in her eyes.  
  
"Giles, what are we going to do?," sobbed Willow.  
  
"Hey. Did I come at a bad time?," asked Buffy softly. They hadn't heard the door open behind them. Willow pulled away from Giles, wiping her eyes with her hands. She wouldn't look at Buffy.  
  
"I, I should go. To class," said Willow, walking past Buffy.  
  
"Willow!," said Buffy. She glanced up at Giles.  
  
"Just...give me a minute with her, okay?," asked Buffy, already chasing after Willow.  
  
Willow hadn't gone far. She was leaning against the wall, still wiping her eyes and looking down at her shoes.  
  
"Huh, look at that. My socks don't match my sweater," sighed Willow. She tried to smile but still didn't look up.  
  
Buffy reached out and held one of her hands in both of hers.  
  
"Willow, I'm so sorry. I...I can't believe what I said to you last night. Please, forgive me. I just freaked. It's, it's everything, it's nothing...I lost it. I'm striking out at things in anger and my best friend got in the way. Please...I'm so sorry," whispered Buffy. This time Willow really did smile.  
  
"I know," nodded Willow. "I know. I just want to help. I, I just want you to talk to me, Buffy. That's all," said Willow. Buffy hugged her and Willow closed her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?," asked Willow again.  
  
"I don't know. But I do know that I feel better this morning," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Well, that's a start. I...it's just...I mean..."  
  
Willow swallowed hard, again not looking at Buffy. Buffy pushed Willow's hair back with one hand and smiled for her.  
  
"Will, just say what's..."  
  
"I'm scared. Scared that you're fed up with the whole Slayer gig and just want it to stop. You, you said it yourself. Every Slayer has a death wish. Buffy, you said it. Out loud," emphasized Willow.  
  
Buffy exhaled slowly and nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I did. But I don't want to die. I don't. Look, I really need to talk to Giles right now, but why don't we meet for lunch? Okay? Sound Good?," asked Buffy hopefully.  
  
"Yeah. Sounds good. Maybe if you let me know what's going on in your life, get some things off your chest, you'll feel better. And I should go or I'll be late."  
  
"Um, yeah. And Will, did I say I'm sorry?," asked Buffy in jest.  
  
Willow nodded and hugged Buffy before she left. Buffy again exhaled slowly and rolled her eyes. She went back to face Giles. He smiled when she entered the room.  
  
"Willow is very upset," said Giles.  
  
"I got that," agreed Buffy.  
  
They each waited for the other person to speak first. It was very quiet.  
  
"Giles, about last night..."  
  
"Yes, we should talk about it."  
  
Again neither of them spoke.  
  
"Uh, thank you for your note. That was sweet," smiled Buffy.  
  
"You're welcome," answered Giles, shifting his weight from one foot to another.  
  
Again the quiet of the room stood between them.  
  
"This is silly," announced Buffy. She walked over to Giles and put a hand on his sleeve. "You don't have any regrets, do you?"  
  
"No. No, I don't."  
  
"How about reservations?," asked Buffy.  
  
"For a restaurant? Oh. No, of course not. You meant...no, none whatsoever. Um...do you?"  
  
"No. None," said Buffy with an enormous smile. "Thank you. I was so nervous."  
  
"But...," began Giles.  
  
"But?," repeated Buffy, lowering her hand without realizing it.  
  
"Buffy, you had just finished an exhausting fight, you've been under a lot of stress, Willow told me that you two exchanged some harsh words...I, I didn't take of advantage of you, did I?," asked Giles sadly.  
  
"No. No, you didn't. And I'm glad it happened. Giles, more than anyone else, you understand me. And...there's no doubt that this feels right to me. Besides, lonely looks as good on you as it does on me."  
  
"Is, is that why it happened? Because of...I mean, it's so soon, and...what if Riley comes back? What if he walked through that door at this very moment?," asked Giles.  
  
"Riley's gone. That was his choice," said Buffy, sounding more angry than she meant to. "Giles, did I ask too much of you? Are you looking for someone or, or something to blame this on?," asked Buffy nervously.  
  
"No. No, not at all," reassured Giles, putting his hands on Buffy's shoulders. "I'm excited, I'm scared, I don't know what's going to happen next...but for the first time in a very long time, I'm happy," smiled Giles. Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist.  
  
"Giles, I'm not going to think about this, weigh the pros and cons, or worry about what people are going to say. I'm not looking for someone to catch me when I fall. All I'm doing to reacting to what I feel, simply embracing raw emotion. Am I making any sense?," asked Buffy, tilting her head.   
  
Giles noticed how her hair shifted slightly as she moved, at how intently she stared at him, remembered how her lips had felt on his. And he smiled.  
  
"Perfect sense. Just one question," sighed Giles. Buffy reached up and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"What do we tell the others? Willow, Xander..."  
  
Buffy placed a finger over his lips.  
  
"Nothing. Not yet. Let's just enjoy our little secret for now and worry about that later," whispered Buffy. She stood up on her toes and kissed him. Giles slid her hands down her back and pulled her to him. Buffy responded by kissing him harder and he eagerly responded with a soft moan. Too soon they stopped, each breathing hard as they caught their breath. Giles pressed his forehead to hers and laughed, making Buffy grin. And then, at the same time, they both opened their eyes wide.  
  
Willow was standing in the doorway, her lips parted slightly and her eyes open much wider than either Buffy or Giles. She didn't move, she didn't breathe, she didn't blink. When Willow did finally speak all she could manage at first was a high pitched squeak. Buffy and Giles slowly separated.  
  
"I...I forgot my pocketbook," managed Willow in a flat monotone. She stiffly walked over, knelt down, grabbed her pocketbook and turned to go.  
  
"Willow, wait!"  
  
Willow ignored Buffy and left the room with quick short steps.   
  
"Oh dear."  
  
"Just...give me a minute with her, okay?," sighed Buffy as she followed Willow.  
  
"Willow."  
  
Halfway down the hall Willow froze and then slowly turned around.  
  
"Buffy, you called my name?"  
  
"Will, we have to...no, we need to talk."  
  
"Talk? About what?," asked Willow innocently.  
  
Buffy frowned but it was a friendly frown.  
  
"Oh! You mean...about...that," said Willow, nodding back towards the training room.  
  
"Yes, about that. Uh, see, it's not what you think."  
  
"I knew it! I...uh, okay then, what exactly is it?," asked Willow.  
  
"Um, well...actually it might be exactly what you think," said Buffy.  
  
"I knew it!"  
  
"Wait, you knew...oh, never mind. Will, this is all new. I mean real new, okay? And I really can't explain it, ya know? It, it kinda just happened."  
  
Willow didn't answer and seemed to be not focusing on Buffy.  
  
"Hello?," waved Buffy.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Had George Michael's song Father Figure stuck in my head there for a moment," replied Willow, shaking her head. "Is this where we go over that whole no secret thingy, the tell me what's going on in Buffy's life because I'm her bestest friend..."  
  
"I know. I know. I'm sorry. Of course I was going to tell you. I didn't have time! Did I tell you just how new this is?," asked Buffy.  
  
"So there was something going on besides that massage! No strewing around my ass. Uh, not around my ass, of course, I meant your ass and actually didn't literally mean your ass...help me here," said Willow.  
  
"Nothing happened that morning. That's the truth," smiled Buffy.  
  
Willow only hesitated for a second or two.  
  
"But, but you spent the night with him last night, didn't you?," asked Willow. Buffy only smiled.  
  
"Oh. And wow," added Willow.  
  
"I didn't think this would be so awkward," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, it's Giles," frowned Willow.  
  
"Yeah, so? Maybe the relationship is a little unconventional. Hey, where have I seen that before? Hmm, let me think...Xander and an ex-demon, Willow and Tara..."  
  
"Gee, never saw that one coming," glared Willow as she rolled her eyes. They didn't say anything for a moment. Then Buffy looked down, exhaling so that her cheeks puffed out. The next thing she knew Willow was holding her.  
  
"I'm sorry," whispered Willow. "Whatever makes you happy, you know I'm going to be there for you. I, I just got thrown, ya know?"  
  
"I know. And thank you. I really want this to work...I really do," said Buffy, hugging her back. "And since this is going to hard enough as it is, can I ask you a favor?," asked Buffy, stepping away from Willow.  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Let's keep this a secret, just for a little while? Please?," pleaded Buffy.  
  
"Sure, but...can I at least tell Tara? You know how bad I am at keeping a secret. Not that I'm a bad liar. Alright, alright, I'm a terrible liar," said Willow, fear in her eyes.  
  
"Okay, but no Xander. Not yet. I need to at least think up a few come backs for his sure to be there jokes," said Buffy. Willow grinned.  
  
"What?," asked Buffy suspiciously.  
  
"So...how is he as a kisser?," asked Willow, wide eyed and leaning in towards Buffy.  
  
"Willow!"  
  
"I had a crush on him first, you know," pouted Willow.  
  
"Finders keepers. Like I said, let's do lunch again, at the cafeteria. We'll talk. Alright?," asked Buffy.  
  
Willow nodded and smiled again, shaking her head.  
  
"Go on, I'm going to be late enough as it is and someone is waiting for you," said Willow.  
  
"Thanks," said Buffy.   
  
Buffy went back into the training room. This time she shut the door behind her. And locked it.  
  
*****  
  
Tara walked over to Willow but she didn't even notice her. She just sat there, absently stabbing her untouched cottage cheese with a fork.  
  
"Hey," said Tara, picking another raisin from the box in her left hand and popping it into her mouth. Willow looked up, startled.  
  
"Hey. Sorry I didn't see you. I'm a little dazed," said Willow.  
  
"I know. You didn't get much sleep last night, did you?," asked Tara.  
  
"No. Did I keep you up? Much?," frowned Willow.  
  
"Nah," replied Tara, taking the seat next to Willow. "So Buffy was a no show?"  
  
"You noticed the lack of Buffy. And I wanted to talk to her, too," pouted Willow.  
  
Tara sighed.  
  
"Close your eyes," whispered Tara into Willow's ear. Willow looked at her out of the corner of her eye.  
  
"Tara, this is a very public place," giggled Willow.  
  
"Don't be silly. Just close your eyes," repeated Tara. Willow smiled and closed her eyes.  
  
"Okay, open them."  
  
Willow opened her eyes. And smiled. Tara had put several raisins onto her cottage cheese in the shape of a smiley face.   
  
"You're something else, you know that?," smiled Willow, leaning her head onto Tara's shoulder.  
  
"So, what's gotten into Buffy?," asked Tara.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy lay on top of Giles with her eyes closed. She leaned forward and moved so that her skin barely brushed against his, letting the sensation of his chest against hers wash over her. One of his hands rested on the small of her back, the other sifted through her hair. Her motion brought her mouth closer to his and he leaned to her, kissing her softly on the lips.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Mmm?," said Buffy, not opening her eyes.  
  
"You did lock the door this time, didn't you?," asked Giles.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
*****   
  
Buffy walked out of the back just as Dawn entered the shop, a camera hanging from her neck. Anya saw Buffy walking towards her and quickly found some books to stack on the other side of the shop.  
  
"Dawn, aren't you out of school early?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Well, I sorta cut last period," admitted Dawn. Buffy glared at her.  
  
"Hey, I'm just following in my big sister's footsteps," protested Dawn. "Why aren't you in class?"  
  
"I don't have afternoon classes today," replied Buffy.  
  
"And how many morning classes did you go to?," demanded Dawn.  
  
"Well, I...Dawn, you're comparing apples and oranges. I'm the Slayer. When you get right down to it, what difference does a college degree make in my life? You have a future ahead of you. I don't."  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Dawn was going to press the issue but knew from the look Buffy gave her that it would be useless. Buffy was in one of her moods.  
  
"Fine! That's not why I stopped by anyway," said Dawn.  
  
"Oh? What's up?," asked Buffy.  
  
"You tell me. Buffy, I've been covering for you a lot lately. And I think mom's getting a little suspicious. There's only so many times I can tell her that you spent the night at Willow's, or mess up your bed so it looks like you've slept in it and then tell her that you just missed her, she went to train. I'm running out of excuses," sighed Dawn.  
  
"You're right. And I'm sorry. I appreciate what you've been doing, I really do. There's been a lot of vamps out there lately and I got roughed up a little. I didn't want mom to worry, you know?"  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
"But...Buffy, there's something else. Maybe I'm the only one who can see it because I'm your sister. I know you. And there's something going on, something that's more than just Riley leaving. What's wrong? You...you're acting...different somehow, you know?"  
  
"Dawn, I'm fine. I promise. And thanks for worrying. It's...neat," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Neat? Buffy, that's as bad as, as Giles saying dude!," winced Dawn.  
  
"Hmm. Actually, I'd kinda like to hear him say that," laughed Buffy. Dawn raised her eyes upward and shook her head. Just then Giles walked out from the back room.  
  
"Giles, let me take your picture! See, I got a new camera for Christmas and I haven't even tried it out yet," said Dawn, holding up the camera in one hand.  
  
"Oh, um, sure. Why not?," agreed Giles.  
  
Dawn raised the camera to her eye.  
  
"Hey, you know what? I don't think you and I have ever had our picture taken together," said Buffy. Buffy stood next to him and slid her arm around his waist. Giles seemed uncomfortable for a moment but then hesitantly but his arm over her shoulder. Dawn lowered the camera and wrinkled her eyebrows at Buffy, then shrugged and again aimed the camera at them.  
  
"Smile," yelled Dawn as she pressed the shutter. The flash went off and Giles quickly lowered his hand from Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"I'd like a couple of copies of that one," said Buffy.  
  
"Sure," said Dawn. "And I should go check on mom. I have about ten minutes to get home at my usual time," announced Dawn.  
  
Giles gave her a confused look.  
  
"Oh, never mind. Mom likes getting back into routine, having things the way the should be," explained Dawn. "You coming home for dinner, Buffy?"  
  
"Um, sure. I'll be there," said Buffy.  
  
"Okay. Bye," said Dawn.  
  
"Bye," answered Buffy.  
  
"Bye Dawn. Buffy, I need to check some inventory for a bit," said Giles.  
  
Buffy smiled and nodded. She watched Dawn leave and noticed Anya look away when she glanced at her. Buffy frowned and walked over to her.  
  
"Anya."  
  
"Oh, hey Buffy. You looking for something? A book, perhaps?" asked Anya nervously.  
  
Buffy just stared at her.  
  
"Or not," said Anya.  
  
"Is that a new bracelet you're wearing?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh. Yes, Xander bought it. He's so sweet."  
  
"So, how's this whole human thing working out for you?," asked Buffy, placing her hands on her hips.  
  
"Huh? What do you mean?," asked Anya, confused.  
  
"You ever wish you had your powers back?," asked Buffy, an edge to her voice.  
  
"No. No, not at all! Buffy, I'm happy now and Xander is just so...wonderful," smiled Anya. "I don't deserve him."  
  
"No, you don't."  
  
"Buffy, that's..."  
  
"Ever get a present from one of your Vengeance victims before you did him in? You know, maybe you flirted with him a little, led him on, let him think he could impress you...did you sleep with them before you killed them?," snapped Buffy.  
  
"Buffy! What...why are you...Buffy, I love Xander. I would never hurt him!," said Anya, tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, you're just one big Epicurean delight," smiled Buffy.   
  
Anya stared at Buffy and bit her lower lip.  
  
"Big word. Look it up. And remember, I'm on to you," said Buffy, getting in Anya's face even as Anya took a step back. "I'll be watching you. That's the only warning you'll get," snarled Buffy. She turned and walked over to the counter where the cash register was. Anya found a chair and lowered herself into it, just then realizing she had been holding her breath.  
  
Buffy picked up a pencil and began to absently doodle on a piece of paper as she stared out the window. Xander walked into the shop and immediately picked up on how upset Anya was. He knelt down beside her and they talked. Once or twice he glanced back in Buffy's direction but she didn't seem to notice. Xander kissed Anya on the forehead, stood and approached Buffy.  
  
"Hey," said Xander.  
  
Buffy didn't respond. She kept staring out the window as if she hadn't seen Xander. He noticed that she was nervously tapping her right foot on the floor very fast. Xander saw that she kept drawing the same pattern over and over on the paper. It looked like the letter 'S' with a line through it, almost like the money symbol but with only one line.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"Xander," responded Buffy, finally looking at him.  
  
"Is there something you want to tell me?," asked Xander sternly.  
  
"Yes, in fact there is. You have strange taste in women, did you know that?"  
  
Xander gave Buffy a blank look.  
  
"Yeah. I liked you once," snapped Xander.  
  
"Hello? She's an ex-demon! Or did you forget that?," laughed Buffy.  
  
"So what? So was Angel!"  
  
"But he didn't have a choice in the matter, did he? Did he!?," yelled Buffy. "Anya wanted to be what she became!"  
  
Xander was getting very upset and quickly losing any desire to argue.  
  
"Is that any different than you?," snarled Xander.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?," demanded Buffy.  
  
"You were once human and now you're a Slayer. At least she's human now," said Xander flatly.  
  
Buffy stopped tapping her foot and the pencil in her hand snapped in half. She glared at Xander and then stormed out of the shop, slamming the door behind her. Anya walked over to Xander with her arms wrapped around herself as if she were cold. Xander picked up the paper Buffy had been drawing on. The same pattern was repeated over and over, covering most of the paper.  
  
"She's got money on her mind?," asked Anya.  
  
"No. I don't know what it is, but maybe Giles does. Or Willow. Bottom line? Something ain't right here," sighed Xander.  
  
END OF PART THREE  
  
PART FOUR  
  
The vampires had been getting harder to find. Word of the Slayer's recent rampage was getting around. But the undead still needed to feed. So when Buffy did find them it was usually in groups of five or six. Instinct drove them to seek safety in numbers. Just as instinct drove Buffy to hunt them.  
  
Buffy staggered onto the flat rooftop and pushed the door closed by leaning her back against it. The lock clicked into place. That only meant that the door was locked behind her, giving her one less means of escape. She slid down into a sitting position, her breath coming in short, quick gasps. Her clothes were soaked through with sweat, her jacket torn and ripped in several places.  
  
Blood ran down her cheek from a gash above her left eye but she wasn't worried about such a small cut. Slowly, painfully, she pulled herself free of the now useless jacket, tossing it aside. Buffy shivered in the cool night air and collapsed onto her side, resting her head against her arm. Her face was just inches from a dirty brown puddle of water. She reached out with her free hand and splashed some water onto her face, resisting the urge to drink even as thirsty as she was. Her hand trembled with the effort.  
  
There had been only one of them left and she had managed to injure him so she hoped the vampire wouldn't follow her up onto the roof. Still, she knew she couldn't stay here. Her muscles were beginning to tighten and cramp up as she rested. Buffy forced herself onto her hands and knees. And that's when she heard the door open behind her.  
  
Buffy rolled on her shoulder into the puddle to get some distance between her and the door and jumped up, turning around in one smooth motion. She smiled without realizing it, a defense triggered by knowing she could never show fear or fatigue to her opponent. Her hands came up in front of her and she kept smiling even as she realized that she had made a mistake. There were two of them, not one. The vampire that she hadn't seen before came right at her while his wounded companion made to circle around behind her.  
  
His first punch she blocked easily but her counter punch was slow and he ducked under it. Buffy backpedaled even as the vamp landed a blow to her stomach. Off balance now, the vamp was able to drive his elbow into her forehead. She kicked down onto the side of his shin but with little effect. Buffy was just too tired and her reflexes were slowing. And then she felt the other vampire's arms lock around her chest from behind. The Slayer decided to do the unexpected. Scrunching her neck down to avoid his fangs, Buffy dug her heels in and pushed backwards.  
  
With Buffy still firmly held in his grip, they fell over the side of the building. Three stories down they crashed onto the pavement, luckily for Buffy with the vampire under her. She cried out in pain and rolled off of him but couldn't breathe. The wind had been knocked out of her and even though she opened her eyes she couldn't see. Buffy was passing out. The last thing she heard was the growl of the vampire next to her and the thud of the other one as it jumped to the ground behind her.  
  
The vamp smiled, drooling at the exposed neck of the Slayer. He knelt down. And exploded into ash.  
  
Spike stood up, stake in hand and face in menacing vamp form.  
  
"Well, what of it? You want a piece of me?," he growled.  
  
The other vamp hesitated. He was just a fledgling and was confused by the sight of another vampire defending a Slayer.  
  
"There's enough for both of us!," yelled the young vampire.  
  
Spike took a step towards him and the vamp turned and ran. Spike shook his head and slipped the stake back into his duster. He knelt down beside Buffy and gently brushed the hair from her eyes, smiling ever so slightly.  
  
Buffy's hand shot up and gripped him by the throat. Spike's eyes grew wide and even though he gripped her wrist with both hands he couldn't break her hold. Buffy's eyes flew open but she didn't seem to recognize him.  
  
"Buffy...it's...me!," gasped Spike.  
  
Buffy slowly released her grip and Spike sat back onto his butt. His face changed into his human visage.  
  
"Is that how you say thank you!?," yelled Spike, rubbing his throat.  
  
Buffy leaned up onto her elbows, wincing.  
  
"Hey, it's not like you couldn't breathe," complained Buffy. She sat up, holding her head in her hands. "Oh, this is going to hurt tomorrow," she sighed.  
  
Spike stood up and stared down at her, not saying anything. Buffy looked up at him and sighed again.  
  
"I'm sorry. Thank you, Spike. I'm not sure why, but I probably owe you my life."  
  
"Probably? Pfft! You most certainly do!," whined Spike even as he held out his hand to her. Buffy rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand, letting him pull her to her feet. She was unsteady for a moment and he held her arm as she regained her balance.  
  
"Thanks," said Buffy, awkwardly, not looking at him.  
  
"You going to be okay?," asked Spike.  
  
"Sure. No big. I've taken worse," shrugged Buffy, rubbing her shoulder.  
  
"Bloody hell, Slayer, I don't mean...what's with the medieval of late? You fancy that death wish I told you about? I was just takin' the piss, you know? You...you don't have to die," said Spike, suddenly seeming uncomfortable with the subject.  
  
Buffy tilted her head slightly. And smiled.  
  
"Spike. Since when did you become my knight in shining armor?," grinned Buffy.  
  
"What? Oh, spare me. I told you, when your time comes, I'll be there. Have myself a real good day. Be damned if some two week old newbie gets there first just because you're all broke up over missing soldier boy and you're getting sloppy," complained Spike, although he didn't look Buffy in the eye when he said it. "Yes sir, this chip comes out and it's you and me, blondie," he added confidently.  
  
Buffy stood in front of Spike, a leg to either side of his. She placed a finger under his chin a lifted his face to hers. He could feel her breath on his lips.  
  
"Spike, you're already damned. Still, that doesn't mean I can't thank you properly," pouted Buffy, a half smile teasingly on her lips. She leaned closer and brushed her lips across his. Spike closed his eyes and slipped his hands around her waist. Buffy closed her eyes and put one hand behind his head, pulling him down to her. She stood up on her toes and greedily kissed him. Buffy placed her other hand on his back under his open duster and slowly eased it down until it tugged at the waist on his pants.  
  
A deep moan escaped from Spike. He kissed Buffy harder and pulled her to him. She turned her head, breaking the kiss with a giggle.  
  
"What...what could possibly be funny right now?," asked Spike.  
  
Buffy nibbled on his neck and then whispered into his ear.  
  
"Oh, Spike. My poor, poor Spike. Don't you understand? Nothing has changed...nothing," repeated Buffy softly, running her tongue across his neck. She pulled away and smiled at him.  
  
"You're still beneath me. And as much as you want me to be beneath you, well...it just ain't going to happen."  
  
Buffy's smile increased into a grin. She broke out in laughter as she turned her back to him and walked away, shaking her head. Spike stood there, numb. He swallowed once and stared at the ground at his feet.  
  
Across the street, staying to the shadows of the building he now leaned against, stood Xander, his mouth open in shock. He couldn't hear what had been said but he had seen enough to know that he had been right to follow Buffy. And he was now even more worried about her than before.   
  
*****  
  
Buffy let herself in with her key. She shut the door without a sound and squeezed the key in the palm of her hand, marveling at the feel of it. Such a simple gesture and yet so profound. Buffy wondered if Giles realized what his giving of this key to her had meant, how important it seemed to her. As soon as he had handed it to her it was as if an unspoken barrier had been removed between them. Just as any hesitation, any doubt of being able to reach out and touch him had melted away. Buffy slipped the key into her pants pocket and smiled.  
  
It was dark downstairs. Buffy cautiously made her way to the stairs and slowly crept up them. When she reached the top landing she noticed that his bedroom door was open. Leaning in she saw that he was in bed with his back to her. A single candle was lit on the dresser behind him. Buffy could tell by his shallow breathing that Giles was only pretending to be asleep. She looked at his reflection in the mirror on the other side of the room. As if to confirm her suspicions, one of his eyes seemed to be half open.  
  
A mischievous smile slowly spread across Buffy's face. She kicked off her shoes and stepped into the room.  
  
First she unbuttoned one sleeve of her blouse, then the other. Very slowly, resisting the urge to glance at the mirror, she began to unbutton the buttons down the front of the blouse. She let the blouse slip off her shoulders onto the floor. Buffy took another step closer to the bed, hoping the floorboards wouldn't creak.  
  
As Buffy reached behind her back she tilted her head up and shook her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders. She only hesitated for a moment, sneaking a glance at the mirror on the other side of the bed. She fought the urge to smile as she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor, knowing that both of his eyes were intently watching her now. Buffy slowly turned her back to Giles, giving him a quick profile view, then leaned forward and stepped out of her pants, only leaving her panties and socks on.  
  
Buffy knelt down beside the bed and eased her left hand under the covers, wrapping her arm around his waist. The heat from his naked body warmed her and invited her in. She knew he was fully awake now. Leaning forward, Buffy first softly kissed his ear, then slowly worked down his neck. Suddenly Giles responded, rolling towards her and pressing his lips to hers. Buffy moved under the covers next to him, never once breaking the contact of their kiss.  
  
Giles started to kiss her harder, forcing her mouth open. Buffy answered by rolling him onto his back, straddling him with a leg to either side of his chest. She grabbed his wrists and thrust his arms onto the pillow above his head, firmly breaking off the kiss. They both caught their breath, her breasts tempting close to his face. Giles struggled a little and she squeezed down harder against his flesh. He tried to spread her arms apart to pull her to him but Buffy's grip became even tighter. Giles winced.  
  
Whatever game Buffy was playing, Giles was no longer interested.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
It was as if she didn't hear him. And then he noticed her eyes. They were unfocused, distant. He relaxed his arms but Buffy didn't ease up on her grip. She smiled but still didn't make eye contact with him.  
  
"Buffy," repeated Giles, a little louder this time.  
  
Buffy ignored him and pressed her knees firmly against either side of his chest. Ever so slowly she increased the pressure on his ribs, bearing down with the weight of her body. Giles tried again to pull his hands free but it was useless against her strength. Buffy's hair brushed across his face as he clenched his teeth from the pain.  
  
"Buffy...please! You're hurting me," gasped Giles, his voice a whisper. "I can't breathe!"  
  
Giles wasn't sure if she had heard him. And then, just slightly, Buffy eased the pressure against his ribs. Giles inhaled sharply. Buffy shook her head as if she had just woken up and wasn't sure where she was. He stared at her, tears in his eyes. That far away look was gone, replaced now by one of confusion and fear. She pulled her hands away from Giles, recoiling in disgust at what she had done.  
  
"Giles! Oh my God!," screamed Buffy. "Giles, did I...are you..."  
  
Buffy brought her hands up to her mouth and began to cry. Giles reached for her but she pushed the covers away and jumped from the bed. She turned her back to him but didn't move. Buffy just stood there, hands covering her face, sobbing. Giles sat up, rubbing his wrists, unsure of what to say or do. So he simply stood behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders.  
  
Buffy immediately turned to him and buried her face into his chest. Giles embraced her with his arms.  
  
"I'm so sorry...Giles, I'm so sorry. It wasn't me! I don't know what happened, I don't! Giles, I'm so sorry," cried Buffy, her body wracked with sobs as she tried to breathe.  
  
"Shh...Buffy, it's okay...it's okay. I think...maybe you're just exhausted. I'm alright. Really," said Giles, placing a hand under her chin to make her look at him. So many emotions clouded her eyes that he wasn't sure what to say next. It was her tears that haunted him.  
  
"Giles, I would never hurt you. Never. I'm so sorry," said Buffy, her lower lip quivering. Giles brought his hand up and gently cupped Buffy's cheek.  
  
"I know...," began Giles.   
  
Buffy jerked her head away and grabbed his wrist, staring at it. His skin was already turning ugly shades of yellow and purple. Buffy closed her eyes and winced, shaking her head. She tried not to cry but couldn't help herself. Once again Giles pulled her softly to him and held her tightly.  
  
"Buffy, morning is a long way off yet," he whispered. "Come back to bed and hold me. I won't let you go. I promise."  
  
Buffy nodded but didn't look up at him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Giles understood her gesture and, with one arm under her knees, lifted her and lay down on the bed with her. Buffy never once let go of him. He pulled the covers over them, gritting his teeth against the sharp pain in his ribs and glad that Buffy couldn't see his face just then. For besides the pain he felt, Giles wasn't sure if he could hide the fear that was suddenly enveloping him.  
  
They didn't speak. And eventually, as much as he fought against it, Giles drifted off to sleep. Buffy sniffed once or twice and swallowed hard, comforted by the slow, rhythmic breathing of the man she held in her arms. Her eyes wide open, she stared unblinking at the far wall.  
  
*****  
  
Spike was lying on his back, hands behind his head, just staring at the ceiling of his crypt. The aroma of her vanilla scent reached him even before he saw her standing in the doorway. He sighed and refused to look at her.  
  
"So you came back. What, didn't have enough fun teasing old Spike before? Care to have another go at it so you get your jollies off?," asked Spike sarcastically.  
  
"My jollies don't come off," replied Buffy, not moving from the doorway. "I...I don't know why I came back," she added softly, looking down at the ground.  
  
Spike sat up and eyed her suspiciously.  
  
"Aren't you going to invite me in?," asked Buffy, swallowing as if she were shy about asking.  
  
"Like you need an invite," snapped Spike.  
  
Buffy inhaled slowly.  
  
"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here," said Buffy, turning to go.  
  
"No, wait!," yelled Spike, jumping to his feet.  
  
Buffy stopped but didn't turn around.  
  
"Buffy, there's something bothering you. Won't you come in?," asked Spike politely.  
  
Buffy nodded and came into the crypt. She walked right up to Spike, less than an arm's length away. And she smiled.  
  
"So, why did you come back?," asked Spike, knitting his eyebrows together.  
  
"I don't know. I can't seem to put my finger on it. But I'd like to," added Buffy with another smile. She closed the distance to him and put her hands in his back pockets. Spike simply stood there with his mouth slightly open.  
  
"You've been awfully nice to me lately, Spike, and don't think that I haven't noticed. I just couldn't acknowledge it. Not in front of the others," whispered Buffy, her lips almost touching his. Spike slowly closed his eyes.  
  
"What's wrong, Spikey? Cat got your tongue? Any chance I might get it?," asked Buffy, kissing him hard on the lips. Spike nervously put his hands around her waist and responded to her kiss. Buffy seemed to want him even more. A moan of desire rose from her throat. Spike broke away by turning his head.  
  
"Why...why are you doing this?," asked Spike.  
  
"I told you. I don't know. More importantly, I don't care," grinned Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, don't do this to me. Not unless you're willing to go through with it."  
  
Buffy slid her hands from his pockets and took a step back. She tilted her head to one side and smiled seductively. Her right hand moved to the top of her blouse and she unbuttoned her top two buttons. Spike's eyes opened wide.   
  
"Oh, that's not what we want, is it?," asked Buffy.  
  
Spike nodded his head before he realized he was doing so.  
  
"No, I can think of something even better," laughed Buffy. She threw her hair back over one shoulder and exposed her neck to him.  
  
"Buffy, what..."  
  
"Remember your first Slayer, Spike? How she tasted? I remember Angel...his mouth on my neck...his total surrender to his hunger, to his need. Come to me, Spike. I know you want to," added Buffy, licking her lips.  
  
"Buffy, you know I can't bite you, there being this chip in my brain. Or did you forget?," sighed Spike. "That's what this is all about, isn't it? Tease poor old Spike. Poor...salivating...harmless Spike."  
  
"You're wrong. The chip doesn't let you hurt me. But what if I want it? That mean old chip wouldn't kick in then, would it? And what's a little pain when there's so much pleasure?"  
  
Buffy unbuttoned another button on her blouse, revealing bare skin down to her navel. Spike bit his lower lip. She took a step towards him and whispered into his ear. His eyes focused on her neck.  
  
"What if I begged you for it, Spike? How could that chip hurt you then?"  
  
Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye.  
  
"Why? Why now?," demanded Spike.  
  
"Said it yourself, Spike. I've got a death wish. 'Cept this is more like cheating death. You won't take it all. I know you won't. Because you'll want me again. And because I'd kill you. We both need just enough to catch the rush."  
  
Buffy took his hand and placed it above her left breast. Holding his fingers tightly she cut her skin with a fingernail, drawing blood. She pulled his finger into her mouth and sucked on it, licking the blood from it with a smile. Spike caught the scent of her blood and his face morphed into vampire mode.  
  
"There's no more need for words," whispered Buffy.  
  
Buffy grabbed his hands and placed them around her waist. Once again she tilted her head to him, staring at him as she did. She was no longer smiling and Spike sensed her fear. Before she could change her mind his mouth was on her neck. At first he kissed her and Buffy reacted to the sensation by closing her eyes. Ever so gently his fangs pierced her skin, the first drops of hot blood electrifying his tongue. Buffy winced and Spike moaned. She pulled his body against her as his teeth sunk in deeper...  
  
Buffy's eyes flew open and she brought her hand to her throat. There was no mark, no blood...no Spike. Giles lay next to her in deep sleep, his back to her. Buffy was cold and she pulled the covers over her up to her neck. It didn't matter anymore that she was the Slayer. Buffy was afraid. And she didn't know why.  
  
Buffy rolled onto her side and slipped her arm around Giles' waist, pressing her body against his. He only stirred for a moment but didn't wake up. She held him like that, listening to him breathe, until the sun rose hours later.  
  
*****  
  
Anya was leaning forward with her elbows on the counter, reading a book. Willow entered the shop and held the door open as a girl left.  
  
"Thank you," said the girl.  
  
Willow smiled and nodded, letting the door shut behind her.  
  
"Hey, Anya. Slow day, huh?"  
  
"Too slow," agreed Anya. "No customers means no sales which means no money. That's not a good. Willow, do your bosoms heave?"  
  
"Um...alas, no. Definite lack of heave in that department," sighed Willow, looking down at her chest. "And, uh, why do you ask?"  
  
Ana held up the paperback she was holding. On the cover a very muscular pirate was holding a long haired blonde woman in his arms. Her low cut dress divulged her ample bustline and her head was thrown back, her eyes closed, her mouth slightly open.  
  
"You and Tara are always quoting things from books. I thought I would try to brush up on my literature. You know, so I wouldn't feel so out of the loop," shrugged Anya.  
  
Willow stifled a laugh.  
  
"Speaking of heaving...Anya, that's not literature. That's a romance novel," corrected Willow. "If you'd like I can recommend some books to you."  
  
"Oh, that's okay. This book is giving me some new ideas. You know, for when Xander and I..."  
  
"I get the picture," interrupted Willow.  
  
"You think there might be other books like this one?," asked Anya.  
  
"I'm sure of it," reassured Willow.  
  
"Uh, Willow? Can you do me a favor?"  
  
"Sure. What's up?"  
  
"Don't tell Xander I was reading this. He likes to think I'm creative when it comes to sex. Calls me imaginative. Wouldn't want to disillusion the boy, now would we?," asked Anya with a smile.  
  
"Your secret is safe with me. Although...," began Willow, thinking she might tease Anya just a bit.  
  
"Hey. You keep my secret and I won't tell Tara yours," said Anya.  
  
"Tell Tara...what secret? What are you talking about? I don't have any secrets. Well, at least none she knows about," pouted Willow.  
  
"I saw you checking out that girl when you came into the store," replied Anya, again reading from her book.  
  
"I...what!? I was not checking her out!," protested Willow.  
  
"Willow, it's okay to look. What, you think I don't notice other males? It's harmless fun."  
  
"But, but...I wasn't looking!," said Willow. "I'm not that kinda girl. Well, okay, I am that kind of girl but I'm not that kinda girl, you know?"  
  
"She was cute," admitted Anya.  
  
"Yeah, but she really needed to do something with her hair," added Willow.  
  
"Ah-ha! See, I knew you were checking her out," smiled Anya.  
  
Willow sighed.  
  
"Your secret's safe with me," agreed Willow in defeat. Anya smiled.  
  
"Blackmail. Works most every time. Willow, can you watch the register for a minute? I need to go to the bathroom."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"I bet you flirt, too, you big tease," winked Anya as she left.  
  
"Anya!," snapped Willow. She closed her eyes and shook her head.   
  
Willow waited until Anya had left before she picked up the book. She read a few lines and smiled. And then she opened her eyes in surprise. She nervously glanced around the shop and then went back to reading. The front door opened and she quickly tossed the book aside. Tara entered the shop, carrying a small cardboard box.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"And hey back at ya. Whatcha got in the box?," asked Willow.  
  
Anya came back and joined them.  
  
"Hi Tara."  
  
"Hi," answered Tara.  
  
"Well, I was thinking that Giles might be able to get more people into the store if there were some other things to draw them in. You know, like tea and snacks, or some artsy crafty stuff."  
  
"Oh, so these are those gourds you were painting?," asked Willow.  
  
"Yep. I made them into salt and pepper shakers. See?," asked Tara, holding one up. It was just a little larger than her hand.  
  
"Hmm. It's, uh...well, kinda phallic, isn't it?," asked Anya.  
  
Willow and Tara glanced at her and then looked at the gourd.  
  
"And I don't just mean penis shaped. I mean the whole kit and caboodle," said Anya.  
  
Tara held it up and tilted her head.  
  
"See, there's the caboodle," pointed Anya.  
  
Tara raised her eyebrows and tossed the gourd back into the box.  
  
"Maybe we should try the tea and snacks first," said Tara. Willow nodded in agreement.  
  
"It was a good idea," said Willow, putting her hand on Tara's arm. Tara smiled and blushed as she peered into the box.  
  
The front door opened and Xander walked in. Willow took the box and hid it under the counter.  
  
"Morning, all," said Xander.  
  
"Hey, Xander," greeted Willow.   
  
"Morning," repeated Tara.  
  
Xander leaned over the counter and kissed Anya.  
  
"Well, I think I know why our Buffy has been acting so strange of late," announced Xander.  
  
"Oh?," said Willow.  
  
"Xander followed her last night," said Anya.  
  
"Oh," said Willow apprehensively.  
  
"Still doesn't excuse the way she talked to me," pouted Anya.  
  
Willow ignored Anya for the moment.  
  
"And?," asked Willlow.  
  
"Seems the Buffster has a new love interest," said Xander.  
  
"Oh. I mean, oh?," said Willow.  
  
"Yep. Saw her kissing him. Rather passionately, too, I might add. And by the look in his eye I'd say she was giving as good as she was getting."  
  
"So much for being discreet," sighed Willow.  
  
"Huh?," said Xander.  
  
"I saw them too, Xander. Buffy asked me not to say anything yet. Sorry," shrugged Willow.  
  
"She asked...so this has been going on for how long?," asked Xander.  
  
"Only a couple of days, I think. She said it was new. Real new."  
  
"But how could she? It's, it's...just wrong!," said Xander.  
  
"Well, it will take some getting used to," admitted Willow.  
  
"Getting used to? Even ignoring the age difference, he's just not right for her!"  
  
"I don't know. Opposites attract, you know," said Willow.  
  
"Opposites? We're talking oil and vinegar here. You don't approve of this, do you?," asked Xander.  
  
"Xander, we can't help who we fall in love with. You can't explain these things."  
  
"Falling in love? Are you serious? I was hoping it was just physical, a distraction to amuse her because Riley left...and excuse me while I try to whitewash my mind of that visual. Ew!," grimaced Xander.  
  
"Xander! Buffy could do worse," said Tara.  
  
"Worse? How? Even bad breath is better than no breath. I mean, he's so...cold, to put it in polite terms," said Xander.  
  
"Cold? Xander, he's English, that's all. It's just...his way," shrugged Willow.  
  
"Willow, Giles is English and he isn't cold. Least not to the touch. Not that I touch him. No touching involved. It was just an expression," smiled Xander.  
  
"Wait, you just said he was cold," said Tara, confused.  
  
"And then you said he wasn't cold," added Willow.  
  
"Well, I meant room temperature cold, which of course is colder than...wait, I didn't say Giles was cold. I said Spike was cold," said Xander.  
  
"Oh. Spike. Spike! You saw Spike kissing Buffy!?," yelled Willow.  
  
"Um, yeah. Who did you...wait, you saw Giles kissing Buffy!?," yelled Xander.  
  
"EW!," said all four of them at once.  
  
"Willow, what they hell are you talking about?," asked Xander.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
Willow simply shrugged.  
  
"Her and Giles? Ha. Good for him!," smiled Anya.  
  
"What? No, that's...well, not worse, but...Willow, help me out here. Buffy and Giles...they're a couple now?," asked Xander.  
  
Willow smiled and nodded.  
  
"And we have to be supportive of her. She's going through a rough time right now and she needs us. It will take a little getting used to but there's nothing wrong with it," said Willow.  
  
"Right. I mean, it doesn't matter that when he's seventy five Buffy will be fifty because that will never happen. She'll be dead long before that," said Anya.  
  
Everyone stared at Anya but didn't say anything.  
  
"What? She's a Slayer. They just don't live that long so if this is what Buffy needs to be happy then we should be happy for her," said Anya defensively.  
  
"There's that," agreed Tara.  
  
"The idea will grow on you, Xander. Give it time," said Willow.  
  
"Oh, right. Like the idea that Faith was an all talk, no action virgin and I was her first," laughed Xander.  
  
"Ya think?," smiled Willow.  
  
"Xander, you had sex with Faith?," asked Anya.  
  
"Um, honey, that was a long time ago. Before I met you..."  
  
"You have this thing for Slayers, don't you?," accused Anya.  
  
"What? No. Of course not!," protested Xander.  
  
"Sure you do. You had this thing for Buffy. And, and I bet you put the moves on that Kendra girl, didn't you?," asked Anya, getting upset.  
  
"Kendra! No way. She cringed at my touch," said Xander, trying to reassure Anya.  
  
"You touched her?," asked Anya, wide eyed.  
  
"Not in the biblical sense!," complained Xander.  
  
"Right. Like any girl could resist your charms," said Anya, turning her back on Xander and walking away. Willow rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh.  
  
"Anya, wait! That thing with Faith...it was just a one night stand, a fall from grace!," said Xander, walking after Anya.  
  
"Grace? Who's Grace? You never mentioned her either!"  
  
They went into the back room and Willow distinctly heard Xander slapping his forehead.  
  
"Wow, I'm sure glad I didn't mention the time Cordy and Oz caught me and Xander together in the basement of the factory," giggled Willow.  
  
Tara raised her eyebrows.  
  
"You know, this whole Scooby gang is a lot closer than I suspected. Is there some kind of initiation ritual you haven't told me about yet?," asked Tara.  
  
"What? No, of course not!," replied Willow.   
  
"Good. 'Cause if there is, I don't want to know," said Tara as she turned and began to walk away from Willow towards the shelves of books on the other side of the shop.  
  
"Tara, it wasn't like that! We didn't...Tara, wait!"  
  
The front door bells jingled as a customer entered the shop. Mr. O'Flynn thought it odd that no one seemed to be here at the moment. He decided to wait for Mr. Giles and began to look around the shop.  
  
END OF PART FOUR  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Fear Of Falling, Chapter Two

Title: Fear Of Falling  
  
PART FIVE  
  
As Giles entered the Magic Shop Anya looked up from the register and smiled. Mr. O'Flynn came running over to him even before the door shut was shut.  
  
"Mr. Giles! Mr. Giles, I'm so glad you're here," said Mr. O'Flynn excitedly. He wasn't slurring his words but Giles could smell the liquor on his breath.  
  
"Good morning, Mr. O'Flynn," replied Giles, looking at his watch. It was only ten thirty.  
  
"In that last book I bought there was a reference to a text that I'd never heard of before. Oh, what was it again? Ah yes. Drobnyk's Fundamentals of Resonant Invocation."  
  
"Yes, I've heard of it. I'm afraid I don't have a copy of it at the moment. It's been out of print since 1980, if I remember correctly. I might be able to locate a copy of it if you wish," offered Giles.  
  
"Oh. And how long do you think that might take?," asked Mr. O'Flynn nervously.  
  
"Um...a week, perhaps two," shrugged Giles.  
  
"Oh dear. That will not do...that won't do at all!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. O'Flynn, but..."  
  
"No! You don't understand! There isn't enough time. I don't have enough time," emphasized Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Mr. O'Flynn, are you in danger of some kind?," asked Giles politely but with concern.  
  
"Well...since you asked...yes. Yes, I'm afraid I am," sighed Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Please, sit down and we'll talk about it," said Giles, extending his arm towards the table. Mr. O'Flynn nodded and took a seat. Giles sat down opposite him.  
  
"Maybe I can help you. What do you need that book for? Has someone threatened you?," asked Giles.  
  
"Not someone, Mr. Giles. Some thing," said Mr. O'Flynn, staring at Giles to gauge his reaction. "More than one, I might add."  
  
"I beg your pardon?," stammered Giles.  
  
"Oh, come now, Mr. Giles. A man in your line of work knows there is more to Sunnydale than meets the eye. Especially after the sun sets," explained Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Go on," encouraged Giles.  
  
"I can see them. They don't know it. Not yet. But they will. Soon."  
  
Mr. O'Flynn smiled as if he didn't have anything else to explain.  
  
"Um...what exactly are we talking about?," asked Giles.  
  
"The demons, of course."  
  
"Ah, yes. Of course. And you said that you can see them?," asked Giles.  
  
Mr. O'Flynn nodded.  
  
"You find them in the most unlikely places. Why, I've even seen one or two in this very room," said Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"This...Mr. O'Flynn, please don't be offended by my asking this, but have you been drinking?"  
  
"Um, well yes, yes I have been. But it's just a little hair of the dog. I admit that I am a little too familiar with the bottle, but after what I've seen, after what I've been through...you understand, don't you?," asked Mr. O'Flynn, just slightly embarrassed.  
  
"I believe I do," smiled Giles. "But I still don't know what you need Drobnyk's book for. His theories have been discounted by most scholars of the occult."  
  
"Mr. Giles, what I'm about to tell you...I only do so because I feel that I can trust you. You see, I'm under a curse."  
  
"A curse," repeated Giles.  
  
"Yes," nodded Mr. O'Flynn. "I dabble a little with the black arts. And, well, long story short, I got a certain witch very upset. Oh, it was an honest mistake, but...I won't bore you with the details. The thing is, I can see things. Call it demons, call it evil, it doesn't matter. I see it, like a black cancer eating away at a person. And once I see it I must destroy it, drive it from that person. Before it's too late."  
  
"Too late?," sighed Giles, trying to humor the man.  
  
"Mr. Giles, evil must not be allowed to live. Don't you see? I help them. Without me the evil would take over, would consume them! I am the Confessor."  
  
This time Giles had no answer. He did try not to stare.  
  
"I make them confront the evil within so that they may be free. But the demons...I think they are beginning to suspect me. They follow me. At night. Mr. Giles, I don't like doing what I must do. I'm searching for an end to this curse. That's why I buy so many books here. I'm searching for an answer. So I can be free," said Mr. O'Flynn, suddenly grabbing Giles' forearm.  
  
"Mr. O'Flynn..."  
  
"Please, you have to help me. They know. They know it's me. I can feel it," said Mr. O'Flynn, lowering his voice. He noticed that Giles was staring at his hand and he released his grip. "I'm sorry. It's just...I'm sorry," repeated Mr. O'Flynn, tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"I tell you what. I'll do a little research on my own. Give me a day or two before you come back. But before you leave give Anya over there the name of the book you want along with your name and telephone number. If I can find a copy I'll have them expedite it."  
  
"Thank you. Thank you so much," grinned Mr. O'Flynn. "I am deeply in your debt."  
  
Mr. O'Flynn quickly stood and walked over to Anya.   
  
"Honestly," sighed Giles to himself, shaking his head. He saw Willow over by the bookshelves and decided now was the best time to talk to her.  
  
Mr. O'Flynn handed Anya an index card and put the pen back on the counter.  
  
"I'm sure we can find this for you," smiled Anya.  
  
"Thank you. And I'm so happy for you," replied Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
Anya gave him a confused look.  
  
"You once had a demon within but now you're free. I can sense these things," smiled Mr. O'Flynn. "Have a nice day."  
  
Mr. O'Flynn turned and left before Anya could react. She stared at his back, mouth wide open, as the front door closed behind him.  
  
"Willow. Could I have a word with you?," asked Giles, keeping his voice low.  
  
"Sure. What's up?," said Willow, putting the book she was glancing through back on the shelf. "And where's Buffy?"  
  
"She's tied up for the moment."  
  
Willow's eyes narrowed and she tilted her head slightly.  
  
"Willow! I only meant that I sent her to run a couple of errands for me so that I could talk with you. Alone," said Giles.  
  
"Oh, right!. So, again, what's up she asked, ignoring the awkward visual which should bother me more than it...shutting up now," frowned Willow.  
  
"Have you noticed any odd behavior from Buffy lately?," asked Giles.  
  
"You mean, besides...," began Willow, wondering how put into words what she was thinking.  
  
"Yes, besides her and I, um, well, you know..."  
  
"Oh. I was going to mention her kamikaze style of patrolling, but, well...there's that, too," shrugged Willow.  
  
"Yes...there's that," agreed Giles.  
  
"Well, she's been under a lot of stress lately. Hasn't been getting enough sleep. Not that the whole lack of sleep thing is any of my business," said Willow, not looking at Giles. "Uh...have you noticed something?"  
  
"Yes. Last night she...," sighed Giles, wondering how to continue. "Willow, last night she hurt me."  
  
"Hurt you? You mean in training? That's happened before, Giles. Probably just an accident. No?," asked Willow hopefully.  
  
"It wasn't during training."  
  
Giles extended his arms out towards Willow, palms up. His shirt sleeve slid up, exposing his badly bruised wrists. Willow winced.  
  
"Okay, getting that naughty rope visual again," grimaced Willow. "When did...wait, forget I said that. Keeping this to a big picture gloss over the details need to know conversation...what happened?"  
  
"Well, she grabbed my wrists. And held on, squeezing harder and harder. I said her name, called out twice, but she didn't seem to hear me. Her eyes...they were unfocused, as if she were somewhere else. Suddenly she let go and she hadn't any idea of what of had happened. But she knew what she had done. I'll borrow your expression 'wigged big time' to describe her state of mind."  
  
"Poor Buffy. Oh, and poor Giles, too," added Willow quickly.  
  
"Willow, her behavior of late is erratic at best. I thought it was just a reaction to Riley leaving, or her mother's illness, or protecting Dawn, or...well, perhaps just stress and exhaustion. But there might be another explanation. It's possible Buffy could be under some spell."  
  
"I guess," shrugged Willow.  
  
"We could ask Buffy to try another trance, to see if a spell has left some trace signature upon her, but I doubt if she's ready for that. Both mentally and physically," said Giles.  
  
"No, I doubt if she could. The last time she tried it was a bust anyway, right?," asked Willow.  
  
"Um, right," lied Giles.  
  
"Well, Tara and I could try a revealing spell...might get us the same results. You should have all the ingredients we would need right here. But it's not an easy incantation, you know."  
  
"Yes, but I have complete faith in both of your abilities," said Giles.  
  
"I'll go talk to Tara and get started," smiled Willow, touched by his compliment.  
  
"Willow, if it helps, I think her...symptoms, if you will, get worse at night."  
  
"What problem doesn't seem bigger at night?," asked Willow.  
  
*****  
  
"Hi mom, I'm home," called out Buffy, kicking the door shut behind her. She walked into the kitchen and put the bag she was carrying down on the counter.  
  
"Hi, honey. Hey, you seem to be in a good mood today," commented Joyce.  
  
"You know what? I am," smiled Buffy. "Oh, and I got you a present," added Buffy, reaching into the bag. She handed her mother a dark green scarf.  
  
"Why, thank you Buffy. You shouldn't have," grinned Joyce.  
  
"Just thought you might want to have another color to chose from," shrugged Buffy. "Still think you should try the wig."  
  
"Nah, just call me bandana girl," smiled Joyce. "What else are you hiding in there?," she asked, peeking into the bag.  
  
"Nothing exciting. Light bulbs, thumb tacks...Giles sent me to the store to pick up a few things. Said he didn't have the time and was always forgetting to get this stuff. I got the impression he was trying to get rid of me."  
  
"Why would he do that?," asked Joyce.  
  
"Got me. I'm going to change and then head over to the shop. And what exciting plans do you have for today?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh, the usual. Stop by the gallery, see if anything new came in. We get a good crowd on Saturday."  
  
"Just don't overdo it," warned Buffy.  
  
"Yes mom," replied Joyce, rolling her eyes. "Um, Buffy? Will you be home for dinner tonight?"  
  
"Yes. Definitely."  
  
"You said that yesterday, too, you know," sighed Joyce.  
  
"I know. And I'm sorry. I...stuff came up, you know?," frowned Buffy.  
  
"You don't have to explain. Stuff means Slayer stuff which means you'd rather not talk about it. I'd just like to spend a little more time with you," said Joyce.  
  
"Me too," said Buffy. And then she broke into a big grin.  
  
"What?," asked Joyce.  
  
"You know what, mom? You need a man in your life," teased Buffy.  
  
"A man!," laughed Joyce.   
  
"Yes, a man. Come on now, there must be a looker or two that comes into the gallery every now and then."  
  
"Maybe," replied Joyce, pretending not to care.  
  
"Maybe?," repeated Buffy. "So, you've noticed, say, one or two?," asked Buffy, opening her eyes just a little wider.  
  
"Of course I noticed, Buffy. Last time I checked I was still breathing. It's just..."  
  
"Just what?," asked Buffy seriously.  
  
"It's very hard to break the ice, to make that connection. And in the sea of life the male fish usually chase after the female fish with the younger, firmer fins. When you get to be the age of Mr. Giles and I, you start to accept the fact it's very possible you will be alone for the rest of your life. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, you know."  
  
Buffy looked away but her mother saw the pained expression on her face.  
  
"Hey, it's a beautiful day. Let's get out there and enjoy it," said Joyce with more enthusiasm than she actually felt.   
  
Buffy nodded, forced a smile, kissed her mother on the cheek and left the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time to get to her room. She looked up in surprise, seeing Dawn in her room. And with a guilty expression on her face.  
  
"Okay, Dawn, what are you borrowing without asking me this time?," demanded Buffy, crossing her arms.  
  
"Nothing!," responded Dawn indignantly. "In fact, I was giving you a present."  
  
Dawn turned and picked up a framed photo from the nightstand behind her. She handed it to Buffy.  
  
"Just got the film back. I had them make a couple of eight by tens for you and Giles. Found the frames down in the basement," said Dawn.  
  
Buffy couldn't help but smile. Her arm was around his waist, his arm held her close to him and they were both smiling. No, more than smiling. They both looked happy. She ran her hand across the photo, touching the arm that rested on her shoulder.  
  
"Thank you, Dawn. That...that was very nice of you."  
  
"I'm glad you like it. I was just heading over to the Magic Shop to give Giles his copy. Want to come with?," asked Dawn.  
  
"Sounds good," agreed Buffy, not looking up from the photo.  
  
"Does this mean you'll let me borrow your blue blouse?," asked Dawn.  
  
"Alright," sighed Buffy. "I'll get it for you."  
  
"Oh, no need. It's...in my room," said Dawn, quickly leaving.  
  
Buffy was going to say something but just shook her head and laughed. She looked at the photo of her Giles and her together. Without realizing it she reached up and placed her hand on her shoulder where Giles had his arm in the photo. Buffy closed her eyes and smiled.   
  
*****  
  
"Who wants donuts?," called out Xander as he entered the shop, holding up a box. "And yes, I got extra jelly," he added, glancing at Giles. He placed the box on the counter and leaned over to get a kiss from Anya. She returned it with a smile, giggling like a schoolgirl.  
  
"Hi, honey," said Anya.  
  
Giles came over to get a jelly donut. Xander didn't make eye contact with him. Willow walked over and peered into the box.  
  
"Anyone seen Tara?," asked Willow.  
  
"Oh, she went to the store. Muttered something about needing a bottle of rum and an eye patch. Don't really know what she meant by that," shrugged Anya, selecting a donut.  
  
"Hmm, that's odd. I don't recall the spell needing those items," said Giles, looking at Willow.  
  
"Spell?," questioned Xander.  
  
"Uh, yeah...the spell. Come over here and I'll tell ya all about it," said a wide-eyed Willow, grabbing Xander by the shirtsleeve and pulling him along. Anya hid her grin behind the donut she was holding.  
  
"So, no sign of Jezebel the vampire Slayer yet?," asked Xander.  
  
"Xander!," hissed Willow, hoping Giles hadn't heard him. "You don't know the whole story. I'm sure there's a very logical for her kissing Spike."  
  
"Oh yeah. I'm sure she was just teasing old Spike," smiled Xander.  
  
"See. There's one possibility," nodded Willow.  
  
"And how do you explain Giles?," asked Xander.  
  
"Xander..."  
  
"No, let me finish. Buffy and Giles are an item. Wonderful. The birds are chirping merrily, the sun is shining, blah blah blah blah blah. And what if, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out? What would Buffy do then? She'd be without her Watcher. How long would a Slayer last without her Watcher? And if it did work? That could be even worse."  
  
"Worse?"  
  
"Sure. You think Giles would risk Buffy's life if he loved her? Send her to fight a big bad something, knowing she could die? What then? The bad guys win, innocent people die. And if Giles goes with her on patrol to protect her? He becomes a distraction, a moment's hesitation...and Buffy dies. It doesn't make sense," said Xander sadly.  
  
"Xander, since when does love make sense? What do we know about Slayers? I mean really know. All we know is that they die. Buffy could die tonight, tomorrow, next week...but sooner than later, she will die. So who are we to judge her? She'll never have a normal life anyway so why deny her a little happiness? Isn't she entitled? What else is there for her?," frowned Willow.  
  
Xander hung his head, unable to look at Willow.  
  
"There's that," he agreed, his voice small.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Xander looked up.  
  
"You're a good friend. That's why you're concerned," said Willow, resting a hand on his shoulder. Xander smiled.  
  
"But since when did you start using the word merrily?," grinned Willow.   
  
Xander ignored her remark and pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket, handing it to Willow.  
  
"Buffy was doodling yesterday. This design remind you of anything?," asked Xander. Willow looked at the paper and frowned.  
  
"No, not really. Does seem a little...strange."  
  
"Yeah. Just like her behavior lately. Anya doesn't even want to be in the same room as her anymore," said Xander.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Buffy keeps bringing up the fact that Anya was once a demon, like she's still a threat to us. She even told Anya that she was keeping an eye on her," explained Xander.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So what's this about a spell?," asked Xander.  
  
"Giles thinks Buffy might be under the influence of a spell or something. Tara and I are going to try a revealing spell, see if there's any trace evidence of magicks."  
  
"Would explain a lot," sighed Xander.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Maybe? How else can you explain her behavior?," asked Xander. Just then Buffy entered the shop, closely followed by Dawn. She waved hello and Willow smiled. Xander looked away and Willow stopped smiling.  
  
"Xander!," whispered Willow.  
  
Dawn ran over to Giles and excitedly handed him a wrapped package.  
  
"Here. This is for you," smiled Dawn.  
  
"Oh. Why, thank you Dawn."  
  
"Open it," said Dawn. Buffy walked up to her and smiled at Giles, putting her shopping bag on the counter. He tore the wrapping free and flipped the frame over, immediately smiling.  
  
"Dawn...thank you. That came out rather well, don't you think, Buffy?"  
  
Buffy didn't take her eyes off of Giles, simply beaming at him.  
  
"Oh yeah," agreed Buffy.  
  
Willow came over and joined the group.  
  
"So Buffy, ready to be a guinea pig?," asked Willow.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oh, well, you see, we just wanted to explore all the possibilities. Um, rule out the remote chance that magic is being used," said Giles. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. You've just been pushing too hard of late."  
  
"Giles, what are you talking about?," asked Buffy, furrowing her forehead.  
  
"About last night. Giles, he uh, told me about it. I offered to do a spell. With Tara, of course. You know, see if there's some bad mojo at work here," stumbled Willow.  
  
"Oh. Um, well...what do I have to do?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Nothing. Just sit there, really. And don't worry about it. The spell's a piece of cake. In fact, it's so simple it's below me. Easy even for beginners. Nothing to worry about," smiled Willow.  
  
"So why am I not reassured by this display of enthusiasm?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Well...okay, it's a little more complicated than I led you to believe. But it's not like I'm going to turn you into a newt or anything! And the chance for more body hair is so low I wasn't even going to...really, it's not worth the fretting. See, a fretless, harmless spell."  
  
"Willow, I don't know about this. I'm not doubting your abilities, I'm just...doubting your abilities," pouted Buffy, worried that she might hurt Willow's feelings.  
  
"Tell you what, this afternoon we'll set up in the back room and I'll walk you through the spell. If you don't want to go through with it, we won't do it," offered Willow.  
  
Buffy nodded as Xander walked up behind Willow.  
  
"But there's chocolate after if you do," grinned Willow.  
  
"And none if I don't? Oh, there's always a catch, isn't there!," pouted Buffy.  
  
"Apparently not on your bra," whispered Xander so that only Willow could hear him. Her eyes opened wide and she responded by stomping down on his foot.  
  
"Buffy, what happened last night?," asked Dawn.  
  
"Um, well...I, uh..."  
  
"Buffy's been having trouble remembering...things," interjected Giles.  
  
"Right. And it's bugging me. That's all," said Buffy.  
  
"Sure don't have any problem remembering when I don't return your earrings and stuff," sighed Dawn.  
  
"That's different. And you still have my silver hoops?," asked Buffy.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes and looked away. Buffy noticed that Xander first looked at her, then at Giles, then back to her.  
  
"Hey, know what? I gotta stop down by the site for...well, a while," announced Xander.  
  
"Xander, it's Saturday!," complained Anya.  
  
"Uh, yeah, but you know, if I want to get past that glass ceiling I gotta put in some overtime every now and then," smiled Xander.  
  
"Xander, a glass ceiling is what women face when they try to move up the corporate ladder," explained Tara.  
  
"I knew that. I was referring, of course, to the glass ceiling we're installing on our latest job. Modern architecture, don't care for it much myself" laughed Xander with a shrug. "Uh...bye."  
  
Xander turned and headed for the door. Buffy looked at Willow but she wouldn't look back at Buffy. Buffy caught up to Xander before his hand touched the doorknob.  
  
"Xander. What's wrong?"  
  
"Wrong? What could be wrong?," asked Xander, his eyes involuntarily glancing back at Giles. Suddenly Buffy understood.  
  
"You know," accused Buffy. Xander took a deep breath but looked directly at her.  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"Damn that Willow! I knew I couldn't trust her," snapped Buffy, gritting her teeth.  
  
"No, it wasn't like that. I found out by accident."  
  
"So, you obviously have a problem with it," said Buffy.  
  
"Buffy...it's Giles! He's...old."  
  
"Anya is old," replied Buffy.  
  
"Oh, great! Here we go again," sighed Xander. "Buffy, he's your Watcher. It's, it's...like incest!"  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes and glared at him. Then she tilted her head and smiled.  
  
"Wait. I know what this is. Jealous much?," said Buffy, shaking her head.  
  
"I'm...what!? Oh, this is so not about me."  
  
"Oh no? You didn't chase after me for what, two whole years in high school? You couldn't deal with me rejecting you for Angel and now you can't deal with me choosing Giles over you. Wow, will the male ego ever get over itself?," asked Buffy, hands on her hips.  
  
"Sure, that thought crossed my mind and...no, that's not it!"  
  
"Xander, you're pathetic!"  
  
Xander just stared at her.  
  
"The bed Riley was sleeping in with you isn't even cold yet and you're already moving on? Going to try to make this one last, Buff, or is it use 'em and lose 'em again?"  
  
"Who the hell do..."  
  
Some part of Xander's brain knew that Buffy's right hand was now curled into a fist, but he pressed on. He took a step forward so that their faces almost touched.  
  
"You care for him, do you? Think the old guy's heart isn't going to break when Spike comes a braggin' about he was kissing the Slayer last night?," threatened Xander.  
  
Buffy's mouth dropped open.  
  
"You followed me!?," yelled Buffy, louder than she meant to. The others were now looking in their direction. Xander glanced at them but kept talking.  
  
"I did," whispered Xander. "I was afraid for my friend, worried that she might get hurt."  
  
Xander turned to go but Buffy grabbed his arm.  
  
"Xander, I...I only wanted to piss him off," whispered Buffy, her eyes pleading with him to understand.  
  
"Yeah. Good luck with that," answered Xander. He pulled his arm free and left. Buffy closed her eyes, bit her lower lip and counted to ten before she turned around. Everyone but Dawn pretended to have something to do. Her sister stared at her for a moment and then walked behind the counter to talk to Anya. Giles had his back to her but he wasn't ignoring her. Buffy realized that he was admiring the photo which he had placed on a shelf behind the counter.  
  
Suddenly glad that everyone had dispersed, Buffy sneaked up behind Giles and slipped her arm around his waist, pressing her cheek against his back. She let go of him as he turned around, knowing she couldn't risk being seen in that embrace by anyone. Not yet. Giles glanced around the room before making eye contact with her and gave Buffy an understanding smile.  
  
"I like the photo. It's your smile," said Giles, giving her hand a little squeeze before quickly letting go of it. Buffy smiled.  
  
"What's not to like?," asked Buffy as she gazed at photo. "Giles, let's go out for lunch. It'll take Willow and Tara a little while to set the spell up. It's...it's something we haven't done before."  
  
"A lunch date? Sounds like fun," agreed Giles.  
  
Buffy smiled to the point of blushing.  
  
"What?," asked Giles.  
  
"You said date. I like the sound of that."  
  
Giles smiled back at her.  
  
END OF PART FIVE  
  
PART SIX  
  
Giles found himself drifting back, thinking about Buffy, remembering what they had been through, what they had done together. And seeing things in a new light.  
  
"Why did you come here? This wasn't your fight!"  
  
And she had struck him, hard, across the jaw.  
  
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"  
  
But she had held him tightly, more afraid than angry.  
  
"You can't leave me. I can't do this alone."  
  
Her voice so small and pleading...  
  
He had been ready to leave her, no longer feeling needed.  
  
"I'm scared. I know it's going to be hard. And I can't do it...without you. I need your help. I need you to be my Watcher again."  
  
She had been afraid of what Dracula had told her, that the source of their power had darkness in it. And then Quentin had come back, once again threatening her. No, threatening them.  
  
"They picked the perfect thing. I can't lose you."  
  
And all he had said to her was a simple thank you. Bloody fool!  
  
"Giles? What's going on in there?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh. I'm sorry. Just...thinking."  
  
Giles reached over and held her hand, getting Buffy to immediately smile.  
  
"There are advantages to not having a clutch in this new car," admitted Giles.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot!"  
  
Buffy reached into her pocketbook with her other hand and fished out a small wrapped package, handing it to Giles.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Just a little something I thought you'd might like. Put it in your pocket and open it later," smiled Buffy, looking embarrassed.  
  
"You're going to make me wait?," asked Giles.  
  
"Sometimes waiting is the best part. Well, at least the next best," grinned Buffy.  
  
Giles smiled and put the package into his jacket pocket.  
  
"Thank you," said Giles, taking her hand once again.  
  
"So, where we going?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"No. Not at all. Hey, how about the Espresso Pump? It's not far," suggested Buffy.  
  
"Um...you know, they really don't have a great lunch menu. Perhaps somewhere else?"  
  
Buffy looked at him and slipped her hand free of his. Giles glanced at her.  
  
"What?," he inquired.  
  
"Is it...is it because you don't want to be seen there with me? I mean, you sing there. People know you there," said Buffy sadly.  
  
"What? No...Buffy, of course not! They honestly don't have a good lunch menu," said Giles. Buffy seemed to believe him. She hesitated, then turned the radio on. She had turned it off when they first got into the car. Classical music filled the car.  
  
"You can change the station," offered Giles. "Wagner is a little heavy, especially on an empty stomach."  
  
"No. This is fine. Giles, I want to learn from you. And maybe I can teach you as well."  
  
"I don't follow..."  
  
"There's a generation gap, or two, here between us. But are we that much different, you and I? Music and clothes change style, but, when you get right down to it, aren't people the same? Let's learn from one another. It could be fun," said Buffy enthusiastically.  
  
"A fair point. But I suppose that would mean I'd have to listen to your music?"  
  
"Giles!"  
  
"I'm only kidding. It's a wonderful idea, Buffy. I'm sure our relationship is going to face many obstacles, but culture shouldn't be one of them," said Giles approvingly. The light ahead turned red and he slowed the car to a stop.  
  
"Obstacles? Hey, as long as you don't yell out 'Joyce' in the middle of..."  
  
Giles stared at her, his face ashen.  
  
"Oh my God! Giles, I...oh my God! Why the hell did I say that!?," yelled Buffy, one hand covering her mouth and unable to look at him. The light turned green but the car didn't move. The driver behind them hit his horn, snapping Giles back to where he was. He drove, not looking at Buffy.  
  
"I'm sorry. What the hell is wrong with me?," sighed Buffy, shaking her head.   
  
"It's okay, Buffy. Let's face it, sooner or later we have to tell your mother about us. One word that encounter brings to mind is awkward."  
  
"Oh yeah. But let's not even think about that now. If we worry about every uncomfortable situation that might arise, we'll go crazy. I mean, Riley could come back, or hell, what would I even begin to say to Angel?," said Buffy. Again Giles gave her a look that spoke of betrayal.  
  
"What? You think you're the only one fighting ghosts here? I know that Jenny is still with you. Why else haven't you started seeing someone? And one night stands with Olivia don't count, either!"  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
"Giles, I saw it, okay? In your top drawer...the rose quartz on that leather thong that once belonged to Jenny. So don't deny it," snapped Buffy.  
  
"You...you went looking through my things?," asked Giles, shocked.  
  
"No! I was cold the other morning and went to get a sweatshirt...or something. I wasn't spying on you!," protested Buffy.  
  
"But, it doesn't mean what you think it does," said Giles. The light up ahead turned red and he slowed down.  
  
"Pfft!"  
  
"Oh, and are you going to deny that you still have the claddagh ring Angel gave to you?," replied Giles.  
  
"It's not the same!"  
  
"Why are we even talking about this?," shouted Giles. "Buffy, this is ridiculous," he added, lowering his voice.  
  
As the car stopped Buffy opened the door and stepped out, slamming the door shut behind her.  
  
"Let's face it, Giles, I'm not her and you're not him. Am I supposed to be punished for the way I feel?," asked Buffy, tears suddenly rolling down her cheeks.  
  
Giles stared at her, speechless.  
  
"Damn it, show some emotion! Look at me like I mean something to you!," cried Buffy. "Giles, I need to feel something other than pain. I, I want something to believe in. I thought you understood...I thought we were alike!"  
  
Buffy ran to the sidewalk.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Buffy ran, never once looking back at him.  
  
"Buffy!!"   
  
*****  
  
Giles entered his shop and walked over to the counter without looking up. Anya closed the book she was reading and put it under the counter.  
  
"Giles, I thought you were going out to lunch," said Anya.  
  
He looked at her but didn't seem to focus on her. Willow came over with Tara right behind her.  
  
"Okay, we're all set to go. Uh, Giles? Where's Buffy?," asked Willow.  
  
"She didn't come back here?," asked Giles absently.  
  
"No. We thought she was with you," said Tara.  
  
"Willow, is it possible to do the spell without her?," asked Giles.  
  
"Um, sort of, but not really," replied Willow.  
  
Giles gave her a blank look.  
  
"See, I'd need something that belonged to her. And then we'd only be testing whatever that was, not her. If she was wearing this item when a spell was cast upon her, then sure, it would work. But it's much more effective to test on her, if you're following me here," said Willow.  
  
"That's what I thought," sighed Giles.  
  
"Giles, what's wrong?," asked Willow.  
  
"Buffy, she...she's acting very strangely. We got into an argument in the car and I'm not even sure why. I stopped at a light and she got out...began to cry and, and she ran away," said Giles, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Oh," said Willow, looking at Tara.   
  
Giles put his glasses back on, suddenly remembering something. He reached into his pocket and withdrew the small wrapped package Buffy had given him. Hesitating, he looked up at the girls but then tore open the paper. His mouth dropped open as he pulled out a single teabag.  
  
"What's that?," asked Anya.  
  
"Buffy gave it to me...as a gift."  
  
"One teabag?," asked Anya.  
  
It's...," began Tara.  
  
"It's what?," asked Willow.  
  
"Nothing," said Tara.  
  
"Honey, come on...what's on your mind?," said Willow, touching Tara's hand.  
  
"Well...it's like what a little girl would give to her daddy," said Tara, wrinkling her nose. "Sorry. It's the first thing I thought of."  
  
"Is someone going to say it or should I go first?," asked Anya.  
  
Willow looked at her, bewildered.  
  
"Ew!"  
  
"Giles?," said Willow hopefully.  
  
"There's something terribly wrong here. We have to find her," said Giles.  
  
"Okay, we can look. And we should get Xander, too," said Willow.  
  
"I'll call him," said Anya, reaching for the phone. "Uh, Giles?"  
  
He looked up at her and Anya saw the concern and fear in his eyes.  
  
"Never mind. Now's not a good time," she said, dialing the phone.  
  
*****   
  
The detective dumped the contents of the large brown envelope onto the counter that separated them; a key, two quarters, a dime, two nickels, a tube of dark red lipstick, two pennies and seventy six dollars in paper money. The soon to be freed prisoner didn't look up but kept her eyes focused on the key.  
  
"I think you left out the pocket lint. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I had some when I got here."  
  
The detective ignored her and slid a paper across the counter, tossing a pen after it.  
  
"Sign on the dotted line. Press down hard, you're making two copies," she instructed.  
  
The prisoner did as she was told.  
  
"You are to report to me by phone every two days and in person every Friday. You are not to leave LA. Any questions?," asked the detective.  
  
"Only one. Well, two actually. First, are we still on a first name basis here, Kate?"  
  
"Look, I don't know why you're getting out early. Sure the hell wasn't for good behavior. You got a sugar daddy somewhere. But a word of advice; you so much as return a library card late and I'll have your sorry ass back in here quicker than you can blink. You understand me?," snapped the detective.  
  
"Sure. That won't be a problem."  
  
"Good."  
  
"See, I don't have a library card."  
  
Detective Lockley glared at her.  
  
"You had another question?," demanded Kate.  
  
"Yeah. Since when did you become a parole officer...Kate?"  
  
"I have my connections here. And a special interest in your case," replied Kate.  
  
"And do you know if this special interest is picking me up?"  
  
"Sun sets in ten minutes. Wouldn't expect him any earlier than that, now would we, Faith?"  
  
Faith slid her belongings into one hand, shoving all but one quarter into her pants pocket.  
  
"He hasn't...I haven't heard from Angel in almost a month. Does he even know..."  
  
"Sorry. We don't socialize much these days. Not that we ever did," interrupted Kate, ripping a copy of the release form out and handing it to Faith. She ignored it and walked over to the pay phone.  
  
The sound of the quarter dropping into the phone seemed loud in the empty room. Faith dialed Angel's number and listened to a recording.  
  
"I'm sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer in service at this time. Please check to see if you have dialed the number correctly or ask an operator for assistance. Thank you."  
  
The phone disconnected and Faith heard the quarter drop into the coin return. She glanced back at Detective Lockley. She was staring at Faith with a big grin on her face. Faith fished out her quarter and sat down on a chair to wait. She had underestimated the contempt that Kate had for her. Faith knew that Kate had known about Angel's phone being disconnected but wouldn't give the detective the satisfaction of asking about it.  
  
Forty five minutes later Faith stood up and pushed open the door, never once looking back at Kate.   
  
"Well, girl, seems like old times. Once again you're on your own," said Faith out loud.  
  
Faith went out into the night and just started walking, not knowing where she was going and trying not show that she cared.  
  
*****  
  
"Willow, maybe this isn't such a good idea after all," whispered Tara as she glanced once again over her shoulder. The cemetery seemed empty but there was no moon and Tara didn't want to be in this dark, lonely place. Willow stopped walking but Tara didn't notice and bumped into her.  
  
"Ah!," yelled both girls at once, each holding up a cross out at arms length towards one another. Willow rolled her eyes and Tara exhaled with a sigh.  
  
"Sorry," shrugged Tara.  
  
"No big," replied Willow. "But why are you so nervous? It's not like you haven't been out here at night before."  
  
"Well, it's a lot more fun when Buffy's with us, ya know? And might I add safer, too?"  
  
"There's that," agreed Willow. "But we have to find her. She's not herself and I'm..."  
  
Willow stopped in mid sentence. The branches of several bushes to their right had moved, sounding very loud in the still night. They both looked in that direction and Willow felt Tara slip her hand into hers.  
  
"You hear that?," whispered Willow.  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
"But...there's no breeze tonight. Don't suppose it was a squirrel," sighed Tara. "I mean, if he's looking for nuts there's two of 'em right here."  
  
"You go around to the right, I'll go around to the left. Keep your cross up and we'll meet in the middle. Okay?," asked Willow softly.   
  
Tara nodded. She let go of Willow's hand and they moved to opposite ends of a large bush. Willow nodded and they charged in. Three seconds later they both screamed.  
  
"Willow!"  
  
"Dawn!"  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
Willow and Tara slowly lowered their crosses. Dawn, red-faced, didn't move. She was still holding up the small silver cross that hung from a necklace around her neck.  
  
"Dawn! What are you doing out here?," demanded Willow. "If Buffy knew you were out here..."  
  
"See, that's just it! She's acting all weird lately, saying stuff that makes no sense, getting beat up every night. I...I thought if she saw me out here she'd realize just how worried I am about her. Maybe scare some sense into her. And I knew you guys wouldn't take me along," pouted Dawn.  
  
Willow was going to say something but simply nodded in agreement and sighed.  
  
"You're right, we wouldn't have let you come along. But since you're here, take this," said Willow, handing her cross to Dawn. Dawn tucked her cross back down into her sweatshirt.  
  
"Thanks. Guess I didn't really think about what I was doing," said Dawn.  
  
"Hey, remember this; size matters. The bigger the better," said Willow, nodding at the cross in Dawn's hand. Tara turned and gave Willow an odd look.  
  
"Uh, in crosses. When it comes to vampires, I mean," added Willow.   
  
Tara smiled at Dawn and nodded.  
  
"Come on, let's go find your sister," announced Willow, walking off. Tara and Dawn followed.  
  
"You know, I don't get to go out at night very often. It's...kinda nice. See how bright the stars seem without a moon?," asked Dawn, looking up.  
  
"Yeah, stop and smell the roses. Just sniff quickly, okay?," answered Willow. "If Buffy knew you were out here..."  
  
"Uh, Willow? Look," pointed Tara. Willow saw the mausoleum Tara had indicated.  
  
"Right. That door wasn't open before," said Willow, now looking with concern at Dawn. "Stay real close to Tara and don't talk, okay? Promise?"  
  
Dawn nodded nervously, suddenly thinking that being on patrol wasn't all fun and games. Willow withdrew a flashlight and a stake from her backpack, then nodded in the direction of the crypt.  
  
Willow stood by the entrance and listened but there was no sound within. She clicked on the flashlight, careful to wait until her arm was inside the doorway so that if any vampires were in the graveyard the light wouldn't be seen. Squeezing past the door without opening it further, she stepped onto something sticky. Looking down, Willow realized it was a puddle of blood. Behind her she heard Dawn gasp. Too late to worry about her now, Willow entered the crypt, closely followed by Tara and Dawn.  
  
The dank odor of the room made it seem even smaller than it actually was. Willow moved the beam of light ahead of them in an arc, pausing on the far wall. She knew what she saw but her mind refused to acknowledge the fact. The walls, the floor, the whole room, was covered in blood. Puddles of dark on the floor, lines smeared across the wall, dots of red splattered like an artist had flicked a brush to create the effect...there were places on the wall where the plaster had been shaken loose. Willow tried not to think about how much force was needed for a body to crumble stone when it impacted against a wall.  
  
"Willow...is, is that blood? Buffy's blood?," asked Dawn, her voice revealing just how scared she was. Willow lowered the light to the floor.  
  
"Uh, no. No, it can't be," whispered Willow, trying to sound more confident than she was. "She doesn't get hurt like that. She's the Slayer."  
  
Tara put her arm around Dawn and pulled her close. Dawn didn't react but simply stared at the now dark wall. There were two cement sepulchers in the middle of the room and Willow slowly made her way between them, the light from her flashlight shaking unsteadily. To her right she saw what she first thought was a shadow. She soon realized that it was a leg.   
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Willow quickly knelt down next to her. Buffy was sitting with her back against the end of the tomb. One knee was drawn up to her chest. Both of her hands were clenched in front of her and she was staring at them. Buffy face and clothes were covered in a gray ash and Willow understood what must have happened. She had been covered in blood when she had dusted a vampire very close to her and the ash had stuck to the blood. But whose blood was it?  
  
"Buffy! Buffy, are you hurt?," yelled Willow.  
  
Tara and Dawn stood behind Willow. Dawn gasped and hid her face against Tara. Willow handed Tara the flashlight to hold.  
  
"Buffy! Talk to me!," yelled Willow.  
  
Buffy looked up and tried to focus on Willow.  
  
"Willow?," she whispered softly.  
  
"The one and only. Hey, are you hurt? Are you okay?," asked Willow nervously.   
  
Buffy returned to staring at her hands. Her right hand especially was thick with blood and ash down to her elbow. Willow wondered if she had cut her hand.  
  
"They wouldn't listen. I...I tried to make them understand. Only wanted a momento. You know, a souvenir to remember her by?," smiled Buffy. "But she kept smiling at me. No matter how many times I crushed her face...she wouldn't stop smiling. Why?"  
  
"Tara, get that first aid kit out of my backpack for me," said Willow. Tara knelt behind her, all the time keeping the light on Buffy.  
  
Willow scrunched her eyebrows together and reached for Buffy's hand. She slowly pried it open, only able to do so because Buffy didn't resist. As her palm opened up Willow recoiled, horrified at what she saw. She fought back a wave of nausea. Buffy held a bloody tooth in her hand.  
  
"Never had one before," laughed Buffy.  
  
Willow grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.  
  
"Buffy! Can you walk? We need to get out of here. Buffy?," repeated Willow, tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
"Willow?," said Buffy.  
  
"Yep. It's me," sniffed Willow, forcing a smile. "Let me help you up."  
  
Buffy nodded and let Willow help her stand. She was unsteady for a moment but didn't seem to be in any pain. Tara stood and Dawn took the first aid kit from her. Tara put her arm around her shoulder again.  
  
"Buffy...Buffy, are you okay?," asked Dawn, still very much afraid.  
  
Buffy looked at Dawn with a blank stare.  
  
"How...how do you know my name?," asked Buffy.  
  
Tara's eyes opened wide.  
  
"Buffy, it's me. Dawn," said Dawn, pulling away from Tara and standing on her own.  
  
"Do I know you?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, it's your sister," said Willow.  
  
"I don't have a sister. Who are you?," demanded Buffy.  
  
Dawn bit her lower lip and started to cry. Tara once again put her arm around her.  
  
"Buffy!," yelled Willow.  
  
Buffy looked at Willow. And as if she had just became aware that she was holding something, she held up her hand and opened it. She looked at the fang, she lowered her eyes and took in the blood on her arm, she looked at the floor...slowly she brought her other hand to her face and wiped the grime from her cheek. Once again she looked at Willow and then she let the tooth fall from her hand.  
  
"Willow."  
  
Willow smiled and nodded.  
  
Buffy looked at Dawn and took a step towards her.  
  
"Oh my God. Dawn!," said Buffy.  
  
But Dawn stepped away from her, only stopped by Tara holding onto her.  
  
"Dawn, I'm sorry. I, I don't know what happened. I must've been hit on the head a little harder than I thought."  
  
Dawn just stared back at her. Buffy opened her arms to her and after a moment's hesitation she ran to her sister, embracing her.  
  
"I'm so sorry you had to see this," said Buffy.  
  
"Are you hurt?," asked Dawn.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
Dawn took a step back and looked down at herself.  
  
"Ew," frowned Dawn, seeing the blood and grime now on her clothes.  
  
"Sorry," winced Buffy. "Hey, isn't that my top?"  
  
Dawn opened her eyes wider and once again stood next to Tara. Buffy sighed.  
  
"And what are you doing out here anyway?," said Buffy, now glaring at Willow.  
  
"Buffy, what happened here?," asked Willow, putting a hand on her shoulder.  
  
Buffy leaned in and whispered to her.  
  
"Let's get Dawn home first, okay?"  
  
Willow nodded. Buffy held out her hand to Dawn and she took it with a smile.  
  
"Let's go home. I think I've got some laundry to do," said Buffy, forcing a smile.  
  
"Uh, Buffy?," asked Dawn.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"When did you get a tattoo?," asked Dawn, pointing at Buffy's left forearm.  
  
Buffy let go of Dawn's hand and rubbed the crusty, gray filth from her arm. She gasped, staring at a green snake with a flickering tongue, coiled around a black dagger.   
  
*****  
  
Faith stood in front of Angel's new office. The door was locked and the lights were off. She took a deep breath, turned and walked away, idly kicking a pebble and shoving her hands into her pockets.  
  
END OF PART SIX  
  
PART SEVEN  
  
Buffy sat in a white terrycloth robe, keeping her eyes focused on her hands as she  
absently tapped her fingers on the table. The coffee Joyce had made sat untouched in  
front of them. No one looked at her, all waiting for Buffy to speak first.  
  
"Where's Xander? Isn't he coming?," asked Buffy, not looking up.  
  
"Uh...no. No, he isn't," replied Willow.  
  
"Because of what I said To Anya? Or to him?," asked Buffy, looking around the table for  
anyone to answer.  
  
"Well, actually...I think it was a little of both," said Tara.  
  
"That's understandable. Or would be if I could remember what I said," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I'm sure Xander knows..."  
  
Joyce stopped, unable to finish because of the incredulous look that her daughter gave  
her.  
  
"Rupert, what's going on?," asked Joyce.  
  
"Um, well, Buffy seems to be under a spell of some kind. She's having episodes of not  
being able to remember what she did...or said, it seems," added Giles, noticing that Buffy  
winced at his words. "And also it appears that she is getting more violent, both with her  
attacks on vampires and verbally to those near and dear to her."  
  
Joyce looked at Buffy but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
  
"We think we know who is behind this. We just don't know why," said Willow.  
  
"Who?," demanded Joyce.  
  
"There's a man, Mr. O'Flynn, who comes into my shop at least once a week. He has a  
tattoo on his left forearm that matches the one that is now on Buffy's arm," said Giles.  
  
Buffy glanced at her arm and then uncomfortably put her hands under the table.  
  
"So obviously magic is involved. The symbol is a hex of some kind, used to mark the  
victim," continued Giles.  
  
"But how...," began Joyce.  
  
"He bumped into me last week in the shop, grabbed my arm. Guess that's  
when...anyway, at the time it was his voice that creeped me out more than him touching  
me. It kinda sounds like Tom Waits with a sore throat," grimaced Buffy.  
  
Giles and Joyce gave her a blank look.  
  
"Think James Brown hitting a high note, but in a white, Anglo-Saxon drawl...and down  
an octave," explained Willow.  
  
Giles half nodded in agreement. Joyce still didn't understand but let it go.  
  
"Buffy, do you remember doodling this the other day?," asked Willow, handing her a  
piece of paper.  
  
"No," replied Buffy with a frown.  
  
"Oh. The symbol looks a little like that snake thingy on your arm. It's just a little more  
proof that magicks are involved," explained Willow.  
  
"I had no idea that Mr. O'Flynn could be dangerous. A drunk, yes, and perhaps slightly  
mentally unstable, but looking at him...he must only weigh a hundred thirty pounds or so,  
with thinning red hair. Dangerous is not the first thing that comes to mind. Nor the  
second or third, I might add," said Giles.  
  
"Buffy doesn't look dangerous and she's the Slayer," commented Dawn. Everyone  
became quiet but Buffy smiled at Dawn.  
  
"Giles, I know we have research to do, but we might have another problem as well," said  
Willow.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah. See, the other day Mr. O'Flynn bumped into me. Remember, when he dropped  
that book he bought? And then Tara went to help him up and she actually felt something,  
like a shock, when she grabbed his wrist. So it's possible...," said Willow, looking with  
concern at Tara.  
  
"But I don't remember feeling a shock," said Buffy. "And he did touch me about a week  
ago, so if Tara is affected, at least we have some time to figure out how to help her. We  
just don't know how much time I have before...before what exactly? What's the purpose  
of this spell?," asked Buffy.  
  
"We don't know yet. But I have Mr. O'Flynn's number. I'll call him first thing in the  
morning. He has some explaining to do," said Giles, an edge to his voice.  
  
"But Buffy, if you didn't feel a shock...then maybe Willow could be in danger as well.   
We both touched him," said Tara, glancing at Willow.  
  
"Maybe," agreed Buffy. She didn't want to think about that right now.  
  
"Giles, why did you think he was mentally unstable?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Mr. O'Flynn thinks he can see demons. Had me believing him at first, this being  
Sunnydale after all, but then he alluded to the fact that he saw them everywhere, even in  
my shop during the day. And that they were after him. Oh, and he called himself the  
Confessor. Says he forces people to confront the demons within themselves...that he  
drives the evil out...so that they can be free...," said Giles slowly, looking at Buffy.  
  
"Hello? No bells going off here? Maybe a big red flag?," snapped Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, what...you're not a demon. You're a Slayer!," said Joyce.  
  
"Mom, we don't understand what the source of my power is. Dracula said that I was like  
him, that our strength is based in darkness. Kinda explains my eagerness to kill, doesn't  
it?," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy!," yelled Joyce.   
  
"We can't jump to conclusions, but we have to consider the possibility that there is a  
connection between Buffy being the Slayer and this spell working on her. Mr. O'Flynn  
wanted me to find a book for him and I have his number back at the shop. I don't care if  
it is the middle of the night, I'm going back there and give him a call," said Giles.  
  
"Guess we don't have to try that revealing spell now, right Giles? I mean, we know  
magic is in play here," said Tara.  
  
"No, it won't be necessary now. And if we can't get in touch with Mr. O'Flynn I'm more  
inclined to try hypnosis on Buffy rather than a spell. But we're getting ahead of  
ourselves here."  
  
There was a knock at the front door.   
  
"I'll get it," announced Dawn, jumping up and running to the door before anyone could  
object. She opened it. Xander stood there, holding Anya's hand. Buffy made eye  
contact with him and smiled. Xander looked away and Buffy stopped smiling.  
  
"Giles, Anya has something to tell you," said Xander as he entered the room. "Go ahead,  
honey," he encouraged.  
  
"Well, the thing is...I know I should've spoken up sooner, but...,"  
  
Anya was obviously uncomfortable but pressed on.  
  
"See, I know I'm sometimes...blunt was the word Xander used. I say what's on my mind.   
And I'm trying to be better. Really, I am. It just seems that everyone always assumes that  
I'm only talking about myself. But I'm just trying to fit in, you know? Anyway, that's  
why I didn't speak up right away."  
  
"Um, Anya?," said Giles.  
  
"Yes? Oh, right! My point. Now keep in mind that I was a little mad at you, Giles. I  
thought you had been telling personal things about me to your customers. Uh, you  
weren't, were you?"  
  
"What? No, of course not. Anya, is this story going anywhere soon?"  
  
"Mr. O'Flynn knew I was once a demon. Said he was happy for me now that I was free  
of the demon. Said he could sense these things," shrugged Anya.  
  
Everyone looked at Buffy.  
  
"Not so crazy after all, is he?," suggested Buffy. "Well, why don't I get dressed and we  
can go over to the shop?," asked Buffy, standing up. Dawn stood up as well and Buffy  
looked at her.  
  
"Thought I'd come up with you. Don't want to leave you alone," explained Dawn.  
  
"Good idea," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Honey, don't you think you should get some sleep?," asked Joyce.  
  
"Mom, I'm not going to be able to sleep."  
  
"And we should go," said Xander.  
  
"You're not coming with?," asked Willow. "We could use some help with the research."  
  
"I don't think it's a good idea," said Xander, avoiding looking in Buffy's direction.  
  
"You're right. You should go," said Buffy firmly.  
  
"Buffy!," snapped Willow.  
  
"Hey, I don't understand what's going on. But something about Anya once being a  
demon obviously sets something off in me. And I know you don't believe me, but I don't  
remember what I say or why. I, I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, you know?   
Anya...and Xander...I'm sorry. Okay?," asked Buffy sadly. "You know I love you guys."  
  
Xander nodded.  
  
"I know, Buffy. And I believe you," said Anya.  
  
"I'll call the shop in the morning," said Xander, nodding a goodnight.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy sat with Giles up front and Willow sat in back with Tara. The radio wasn't on and  
the ride over was uncomfortably quiet. And then Willow smiled.  
  
"You know, this is about as awkward as a double date in high school. Uh, except for the  
lack of sweaty palms," added Willow.  
  
"I wondered what your moms would've thought if this had been a date in high school,  
what with you bringing home a girl and Buffy..."  
  
Tara didn't finish her thought, catching a wide eyed warning from Buffy.  
  
"Least you guys had a date in high school," pouted Tara, embarrassed.  
  
"Aw, Tara," frowned Willow, giving her hand a squeeze.  
  
Giles pulled up in front of the Magic Shop.  
  
"Giles, you left the lights on," said Buffy.  
  
"Yes. I wasn't sure where you were. I was hoping that you would see the lights were  
still on and know that I was still awake. In case...in case you came back."  
  
"Oh," nodded Buffy sadly.  
  
"I'll just be a minute," he announced. "After I make the call I want to go to my place. I  
have my own copy of the book that Mr. O'Flynn was looking for. It's a long shot, but we  
may find something in it. Be right back."  
  
"You know, I think I'll come with you. Uh, to call my mom, let her know what's going  
on," said Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, nothing's going on yet. We just left," said Giles.  
  
"Well then I'll let her know I'm alright. You know how she worries," said Buffy,  
opening her door. She stared at him for a moment and he caught on.  
  
"Of course," smiled Giles, getting out of the car. Willow and Tara watched them go into  
the shop.  
  
"She just wanted to be alone with him," explained Willow.  
  
"Well, duh! Of course she did!," smiled Tara.  
  
Tara looked out of her window and slid her hand onto Willow's thigh.  
  
"What are you doing?," asked Willow in a tone that made it perfectly clear she knew  
exactly what Tara was doing.  
  
"Who, me?," asked Tara innocently. She tried to say it with a straight face but when she  
looked at Willow she broke into a smile.  
  
"Well, I've never been alone with you in the back seat of a car before," winked Tara.  
  
"Tara, Giles and Buffy could come back any minute!," grinned Willow, shaking her  
head.  
  
"Isn't the danger of getting caught part of the fun?," asked Tara.  
  
"And you call me a vixen!," laughed Willow.  
  
"Hey little girl, want some candy?," teased Tara. Willow leaned closer to her and closed  
her eyes...  
  
Giles was rummaging through the drawer under the cash register and quickly getting  
frustrated.  
  
"Blast! Where the hell did Anya put that card?," growled Giles.  
  
"Giles?"  
  
Giles looked up and immediately stopped what he was doing.  
  
"We need to talk. Or at least I do. I'm so sorry. I wish, I wish I knew what I was  
apologizing for...all I can remember is that we argued about something and, and I don't  
even know what! It's like I can see images of your face and feel the emotion of what  
happened, the anger, the hurt...but I don't know what was said. Giles..."  
  
"Buffy, don't. Don't punish yourself. I'll figure this out. I'm going to take care of you.   
I promise," said Giles, opening his arms to her. Buffy wrapped her arms around him and  
pressed her cheek against his chest.  
  
"You always have," said Buffy, closing her eyes.  
  
Giles kissed the top of her head and Buffy smiled.  
  
"Wait! I think I know where Anya may have put that card. It could be in the back supply  
room. It's where we check in deliveries. I'll be right back," said Giles.  
  
But Buffy wouldn't let him leave. She stood up on her toes and kissed him briefly,  
breaking away with a smile. Giles smiled and raised her hand to his lips, kissing it.  
  
"Don't go anywhere," he said, causing Buffy to roll her eyes.  
  
When he left Buffy noticed that the light on his answering machine was on. Curious, she  
pushed the play button.  
  
"Hi Rupert, this is Karen. We met the last time you were singing, remember? Well, I'm  
back in town. Thought I'd give you a call, see if you'd like to meet for a drink. Or  
something. You have my number. Give me a call. Bye."  
  
Buffy stared at the phone, motionless. She glanced down the hall and then looked back  
at the phone. Biting her lower lip, she reached for the erase button, hesitated, and then  
pushed it. She walked out from behind the counter and began to pace around the room.   
Buffy covered her eyes with her hands for a moment, slowly sliding them down to cover  
her mouth as she looked back down the hall once again.  
  
Running back behind the counter, Buffy knelt down and pulled open a drawer that she  
knew Giles kept weapons in. Fumbling through it, her fingers wrapped around a double  
bladed knife in a leather sheath. Recognizing it, she smiled and stood up. She glanced  
once more in the direction Giles had gone and backed her way to the door. Reaching  
behind her, she opened the door and quietly slipped out.  
  
Only seconds later Giles came back out of the store room.  
  
"Got it," he announced, suddenly noticing that he was alone.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
Giles ran to the door and yelled into the night.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Willow and Tara came out of the car, each exiting from their own side.  
  
"Giles, isn't she with you?," asked Willow.  
  
"No. You didn't see her come out?," asked Giles, looking back into the shop.  
  
"Uh, no. But we, we were talking. You know, not really paying attention? I guess if she  
wanted to she could've sneaked out," frowned Willow. She glanced at Tara but Tara was  
staring at the ground and didn't notice.  
  
Giles slumped back against the door and looked at Willow in disbelief. He looked down  
at the index card in his hand and went back inside to make the phone call.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy traded punches with the vampire, each of them landing viscious blows to the face  
but neither giving ground. Suddenly she grabbed him by the throat, forcing him off his  
feet up against the wall behind him. A moment later she felt his larynx snap under her  
hand with a wet cracking sound that even made Buffy wince. The vampire growled in  
pain. And then his eyes opened wide as Buffy sliced open its stomach with the knife she  
held in her other hand.  
  
She let go of the creature and it slid down into a sitting position, both of his hands on his  
stomach as it tried to keep his entrails from oozing out between his fingers. He looked  
up at her, eyes full of both hatred and pain. Buffy smiled.  
  
"Hey, you weren't a writer when you were alive, were you? I mean, wow, think of the  
irony if you had been. After all, half of a large intestine is a semicolon, isn't it?,"  
laughed Buffy, pointing at the bloody mess that had been his stomach.  
  
The vampire ignored her and closed his eyes. Buffy drove her foot in a roundhouse kick  
into his forehead, knocking him on his side. The vampire didn't move. She deftly  
flipped the knife around so that the blade was now pointing down and took a step  
towards the creature.  
  
Buffy froze. She stared at her arm as blood dripped down from the blade onto her wrist.   
The blood was cold so she understood that it wasn't her own. Ever so slowly she opened  
her hand and the knife fell to the floor. As Buffy stood there, staring at her open palm, a  
wave of panic washed over her. She broke out in a cold sweat, her body suddenly  
shaking with chills and she forced herself to breathe in shallow and rapid gasps.  
  
The vampire moaned and her eyes flew to it. Buffy backed away, tripped over something  
and fell, scrambling away as quickly as she could move. When she hit the wall behind  
her Buffy got to her knees, fighting off abrupt nausea. She stood, stumbling once or  
twice, and ran as fast as she could.  
  
*****  
  
"Giles, I checked the number. It's what you thought, a cell phone. Mr. O'Flynn could be  
anywhere. We'll just have to wait and see if he answers your message," said Willow.  
  
"Damn!," yelled Giles. He sighed and looked at Willow and Tara. They both seemed  
nervous, if not just plain scared.  
  
"I need a drink. Care to join me?," offered Giles.  
  
Willow nodded yes without hesitation. After a moment and with a glance at Willow,  
Tara agreed as well.  
  
"What the hell," sighed Tara.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy let herself into the dark room, not shutting the window behind her. She took the  
comforter off of her bed and pushed it against the bottom of the door before turning on  
the light. Then she locked the door and sat on her bed. Her eyes drifted to the photo of  
her and Giles together and her hand trembled as she picked it up. Tears rolled down her  
cheeks but Buffy made no effort to wipe them away.  
  
"You promised," whispered Buffy. "Giles, you promised...you did..."  
  
Her hand still shook but now she was becoming angry.  
  
"Is it always a lie? Is it?"  
  
Buffy smashed her fist against the frame, shattering the glass. The photo landed on the  
floor. Buffy sat and stared at her hand, now bleeding. She stood up and opened her top  
drawer, pulling out a red bandana and wrapping it around her knuckles. Making a simple  
knot, she pulled it closed with her teeth.  
  
Buffy stared at the bandana, running her hand slowly over it. This was familiar  
somehow. This should mean something to her...and it upset her that she couldn't  
remember why. But she hadn't worn this...why couldn't she remember? Buffy began to  
cry again, leaning against her dresser.  
  
When she opened her eyes she was again looking into her top drawer. Seeing a ring she  
reached in and held it up to the light. It was a silver claddagh ring. This did seem  
familiar. For some reason this meant something to her. She slipped it onto her finger.   
And Buffy no longer felt like crying.  
  
Buffy grabbed a change of clothes, some money, slipped on a heavier jacket and turned  
off the light. She closed the window behind her.  
  
*****  
  
It was getting late. The sun would be setting soon. Giles stared at the phone, knowing it  
was a useless waste of time. He also knew that if he didn't sit here that he might, no, he  
would, start drinking. And he wasn't ready to face those demons just yet. Mr. O'Flynn  
had not called. Neither had Buffy. Giles flipped through Drobnyk's book for the third  
time, wondering who was the bigger fool, the author or himself.   
  
Giles looked up at the photo on the shelf behind him and knew the answer. Drobnyk  
might have been proven wrong with most of his theories but if he had ever let someone  
down it wasn't public knowledge. Not like he had let Buffy down. He looked up and  
realized that Willow had been staring at him for probably a long time. Xander walked up  
next to her and nodded.  
  
"You didn't get much sleep last night, did you?," asked Willow.  
  
"No. None," admitted Giles.  
  
"So, you had the chili from down the street too, huh?," smiled Xander.  
  
Giles didn't smile back.  
  
"Giles, she'll be all right. Buffy always lands on her feet," said Xander.  
  
"Let's hope so," sighed Giles.  
  
"Um, Giles? Again along the lines of maybe I should have mentioned this earlier...I saw  
the car that Mr. O'Flynn got into the other day," said Anya anxiously, as if she expected  
Giles to yell at her.  
  
Giles just stared at Anya.  
  
"Right. Well, it was really old and beat up, with a lot of rust. And bondo. It might have  
been a late sixties model Volkswagen beetle, possibly orange in color at one time."  
  
"You know stuff about cars?," asked Xander, surprised.  
  
"Sure. Don't you?," replied Anya.  
  
"Um...sure. Of course I do," nodded Xander unconvincingly.  
  
"Anyway, I didn't get a good look at the license plate number, but it did have out of state  
plates. I think it began and ended with the letter 'O'," said Anya, thinking out loud.  
  
"Oklahoma?," said Xander excitedly.  
  
"Or even maybe Ohio," said Willow with a straight face.  
  
"Ohio? Um...right," agreed Xander sheepishly.  
  
"Willow, could you access the local motels on the net, perhaps see if Mr. O'Flynn is  
registered at one of them?," asked Giles, still staring at Anya.  
  
"I'm on it," announced Willow.  
  
"Sorry," shrugged Anya with a frown.  
  
Giles nodded and smiled, trying not to scream.  
  
*****  
  
Faith sat on the curb across the street from Angel's old office. Even in the dark she could  
tell how badly gutted the place was. She had been bored at the club, had been unable to  
connect with either the music or the people and she had left. Without realizing where she  
had been walking to, Faith had ended up here. She reached into her pocket and took out the key without looking at it, all the time staring at Angel's burnt out office building. Faith tossed the key onto the ground. Instead of feeling angry that Angel had abandoned her, had not even tried to keep in touch, Faith began to feel sorry for herself.  
  
There was nothing more Faith hated in the world than feeling sorry for herself. Like it or  
not, she would have to call Cordelia to find out what had happened.   
  
There was a noise, maybe like breaking glass, from the street behind her. Faith stood up  
and headed towards it. She heard laughter and she walked a little faster. As soon as she  
turned the corner Faith shook her head and sighed. From where she stood it looked like  
two biker types were trying to rob some kid of his money. Each had on dirty black  
leather jackets and even dirtier pants that at one time may have been denim. The boy,  
maybe a teenager, had a black wool cap on and a hooded sweatshirt. He was being  
pushed around. Faith knew they were after more than his money.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
The two guys turned to see who had yelled and the boy ran and hid behind a dumpster.   
As Faith had expected, had known, they were vampires.  
  
"You know, I thought I wouldn't have to do this anymore. I'm retired, you know?,"  
complained Faith.  
  
The two vamps smiled at her and began to walk towards her. Faith walked towards them.  
  
"I'd say just get the hell out of here and no one has to get hurt. But I don't suppose you'd  
listen, would you?," glared Faith.  
  
The two vamps stopped walking and looked at each other, wondering why this chick  
wasn't afraid of them. One shrugged his shoulders at the other. As they turned back to  
look at Faith, she kicked one hard in the crotch, bringing up her knee into his face as he  
doubled over. She grabbed him by the neck and drove him into the wall beside her. The  
other one was too surprised to move at first and Faith used his hesitation against him.  
  
"You snooze, you lose," barked Faith, punching the other vamp three times before he  
swung back. She easily ducked under his punch and drove her fist into his chest. The  
vamp looked down in shock just before he exploded into ash.  
  
"Knew that broken stick I found would come in handy," grinned Faith. She turned to  
face the other vampire but he took one look at her, turned and ran. Faith took two steps  
in his direction before deciding a chase just wasn't worth it. She stuck the stake into her  
back pocket and walked towards the dumpster.  
  
The boy hadn't moved. He was hiding behind the dumpster, holding two broken pieces  
of wood from possibly a picture frame up in front of his face but not looking at Faith as  
she approached. Even though he was obviously terrified, Faith was impressed that he  
somehow had the street smarts to know how to protect himself. And then Faith realized  
that this wasn't a boy at all, but a girl with her hair tucked up under her cap, although a  
lot of it hung down at the back of her neck into her jacket. Faith knelt down beside her.  
  
"Hey, it's okay. Those guys are gone."  
  
The girl covered her face with her arms, still holding up the two sticks. She began to cry.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you. Come on, give me your hand. Let's get out of here."  
  
Faith gently touched the girl's shoulder. The girl slowly lowered her arms. She was  
shaking more from sheer terror than from crying. Looking up, they made eye contact for  
the first time.  
  
"It's okay. I...oh my God! Buffy!?"  
  
END OF PART SEVEN  
  
PART EIGHT  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
The question was met first with a smile and then a laugh.  
  
"Don't like the fact that I'm walking the streets with nothing to be afraid of? Well, get used to it!"  
  
"A street walker. Yeah, that about sums up what I'm looking at."  
  
"Not afraid of me? You should be, now that the Slayer isn't around to protect you!"  
  
She took two steps towards him but Xander simply held out a cross in front of him with a bored expression on his face. Anya hid behind him, peering over his shoulder.  
  
"Xander Harris, that's cheating!," snapped Harmony, turning away but still glaring at him.  
  
"Cheating? Sorry Harm, but this is clearly in the rules. Now, what's this about the Slayer not being around? Buffy didn't go anywhere."  
  
"Oh yeah? Well Spike saw her get on a bus tonight. A bus headed for LA. Let me guess, she decide to run away again or is she crawling back to Angel now that she drove away another boyfriend?," smiled Harmony.  
  
Not only did Xander not come back with a witty retort, but he was clearly upset at hearing this news.  
  
"Ha! I knew it. Buffy's gone and now we can take back this town. First I'll round up some minions, and then I'll celebrate down at the Bronze, and then...no, wait. Maybe I should go to the Bronze first. You know, party now, work later...but it's no fun to party alone..."  
  
Harmony's rambling was interrupted by Anya throwing water on her face. Holy water. She screamed, hitting a note that Xander was sure would annoy every dog within a three block radius, and ran away, loudly cursing Xander's name as well as a few of his ancestors and a few of his possible ancestors added in for good measure.  
  
"Minions? Puh-leeze!," sighed Xander. Anya smiled and took his hand. They turned and continued on to the Magic Shop.  
  
*****  
  
"You feel okay?," whispered Tara.  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
"You?"  
  
Tara nodded. And then they both looked at Giles. He was staring out of a window, absently sipping scotch from a mostly empty glass. Willow quietly walked over and stood behind him. He was aware of her presence but didn't turn around.  
  
"How can she stay away? Isn't she thinking of me?," asked Giles, taking another sip from the glass.  
  
"Giles, she always thinks of you. Sometimes I think you're all she thinks about. But right now, it's like she's in a fog. She doesn't know where you are...she doesn't know where to look."  
  
Giles turned and faced Willow.  
  
"Thank you, Willow. I...I just want to help her. It's what I'm supposed to do. But how can I when I don't even know where she is?"  
  
"When Xander gets here you can go home. Maybe she'll call there. Or maybe we could drive around, look for her," suggested Willow.  
  
"We don't even know where to begin to look. I drove around all day, remember? No, I want to be near a phone...in case she calls. Willow, when Xander gets here would...would you come with me? You and Tara, I mean. I'd like the company," explained Giles.  
  
"Sure," smiled Willow.  
  
"Didn't find Mr. O'Flynn registered anywhere?"  
  
"Nope. Hotels, motels, inns, bed and breakfast...nothing. Although he could be signed in under an alias. And some of the inns don't use computers, you know," sighed Willow.  
  
Giles took another gulp and saw Willow frown at him.  
  
"Giles, that's not going to help," said Willow, nodding at his glass.  
  
"It is...and it's none of your business," snapped Giles.   
  
Willow pouted very sadly and walked away. Giles turned back to the window. A moment later he knew she was standing behind him again. He felt badly about what he had said and turned to apologize but was surprised to see Tara.  
  
"You're Buffy's Watcher. I don't know if you're aware of this, but...you're Willow's and Xander's Watcher as well. Think about it. They need you too," said Tara, staring at Giles.  
  
He looked down and took a deep breath. When he looked up again he handed Tara his glass.   
  
"You're right, Tara. I'm behaving very selfishly. Thank you."  
  
Tara smiled. And then the phone rang and they all jumped. Willow pounced on the phone before it rang a second time.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi Willow. Sorry, it's only me," said Dawn.  
  
"Any word?," asked Willow hopefully.  
  
"No. You?"  
  
"No. How's your mom holding up?," asked Willow.  
  
"Okay, but she hides it well. She's got a good poker face. Comes with a lot of practice, I guess," sighed Dawn.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Willow.  
  
"Willow, Buffy was here last night. I think she took some clothes, maybe some money. But what I didn't notice was missing until now was her claddagh ring. You know, the one Angel gave her? I'm not sure if it means anything, but...you don't think she'd go to him, do you?," asked Dawn.  
  
"I don't know why she would, but your sister isn't exactly thinking straight either. Tell you what, I'll call Angel and give him a head's up, just in case," reassured Willow.  
  
"Thanks. Call me if you hear anything."  
  
"Will do. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Call Angel?," said Giles.  
  
"Buffy took her claddagh ring. It's probably nothing, but it won't hurt to call, either. Just in case. Hope it's not too late to call. Duh! Forget I said that," said Willow, shaking her head. "Too late to call a vampire. Good thinking there, Will."  
  
Tara smiled as Willow dialed the number.   
  
"I'm sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer in service at this time. Please check to see if you have dialed the number correctly..."  
  
Willow hung up the phone.  
  
"That's weird. Angel's number is disconnected. Giles, when's the last time you talked to either him or Wesley?," asked Willow.  
  
"Um...I'm not sure. It's been a while, at least a month...or two," admitted Giles.  
  
"Okay, I know Buffy has tried to distance herself from Angel, but we need to say hello from time to time! Hell, we're in the same business and that business usually involves hell, ya know?," complained Willow.  
  
The front door bell chimed as Xander and Anya entered the shop.  
  
"Buffy's in Los Angeles!," shouted Xander.  
  
"What?," said Giles and Willow at the same time. Tara just looked shocked at the news.  
  
"I ran into Harmony. She was bragging about how the streets of Sunnydale were hers now that Buffy left. I guess Spike saw her get onto a bus headed for LA."  
  
"And I had the satisfaction of shutting that bitch up by throwing holy water into her face," grinned Anya proudly.  
  
"Uh, honey, while I liked it at the time, it isn't wise to piss off a vampire. You of all people should know about vengeance," said Xander.  
  
"It was only Harmony," shrugged Anya.  
  
"Good point," agreed Xander.  
  
"She went to find Angel," said Willow to no one in particular.  
  
"Angel? Why?," asked Xander.  
  
"Oh dear," said Giles.  
  
"It can't be good if he says that," winced Xander.  
  
"We have to warn him," said Giles, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Warn him? What do you mean? If Buffy did go to LA, we can only hope Angel finds her," said Xander.  
  
"In Buffy's state of mind, she may perceive him as a threat. You saw how she reacted to Anya. And Angel, after all, does have a demon in him," explained Giles.  
  
"So...," began Xander.  
  
"So Buffy may try to kill him," finished Willow.  
  
"Then again, the upside of that would be..."  
  
Xander didn't finish his thought, cut short by the nasty glare that Willow shot at him.  
  
"I know Cordelia's number. I'll call her," said Willow, reaching for the phone.  
  
"Cordy? Why not just call Angel?," asked Xander.  
  
"I'll explain later," replied Willow.  
  
*****  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?," yelled Faith.  
  
Buffy let the sticks fall from her hand and backpedaled away from Faith until her back hit the wall behind her. She could go no further. She drew her knees up in front of her but kept her hands on the ground at her sides. Buffy's eyes were wide open and she was trembling.  
  
"B...what's wrong? Are you hurt?"  
  
Faith didn't see any blood. She stood up and Buffy flinched.  
  
C'mon, B, you've faced a lot worse than those two losers before. Hey...you're not afraid of me...are you?," asked Faith sadly.  
  
Buffy just stared at her.  
  
"It's not like that. I wouldn't...Buffy, don't do this. I'm not...hey, can you talk?"  
  
Buffy's eyes darted around like a trapped animal seeking escape.  
  
"You're startin' to really freak me out here."  
  
Buffy wrapped her hands around her knees and no longer looked at Faith. She began to rock back and forth. Tears clouded her eyes. Faith licked her lips and tried to decide what to do. Then, very slowly, she extended her hand and knelt down in front of Buffy. Buffy looked up, ignoring the hand but keeping her eyes on Faith. She began to cry harder.  
  
"Buffy, don't you recognize me? Do you know who I am? It's me...Faith."  
  
For the first time Buffy looked at Faith's hand. Faith gently placed her hand on Buffy's knee.  
  
"Hey, it's okay now. I'm going to help you. I'm...I'm going to make things better. I promise," said Faith, struggling with those words.  
  
Buffy made eye contact with Faith again and suddenly grabbed her hand, startling her. Faith opened up her arms and Buffy practically dove into her, hugging her tightly and crying even harder, her sobs causing her to convulse.  
  
"Buffy, I don't know what's wrong, but I'm here now. Let me help. Please?"  
  
Buffy nodded but didn't look up. Faith smiled and hugged Buffy just a little tighter. Faith closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
  
"B, we need to get away from here. In case that vamp comes back with some friends. Let's stand up, okay?"  
  
Buffy didn't move but allowed Faith to pull her to her feet.  
  
"Gotta find a place to spend the night. I don't want to go to a shelter...too many questions. So we have to do things my way," said Faith, forcing a smile. Buffy looked up, no longer crying, and smiled. Faith wiped away her tears with her hands.  
  
"That's better," smiled Faith. "Come on. Let's go."  
  
Faith turned and Buffy grabbed her hand. Faith looked at her and then down at their hands. Buffy simply wanted to hold her hand and nodded at her. Faith nodded back. She wanted to smile to hide her own fear but she couldn't.   
  
*****  
  
Faith led Buffy by the hand into the center of a large empty room. It was on the third floor of an abandoned warehouse. A few broken beer bottles, many cigarette butts and small piles of trash indicated to Faith it was a hangout for teenagers or that the homeless occasionally took refuge here.  
  
"We should be okay here. Too many windows for it to be a popular with the vamps. Plus if this was a popular hunting ground there'd be a lot less garbage. Word gets around, ya know?," said Faith, looking at Buffy. There was no mistaking that look; Buffy was scared, badly shaken.  
  
"Hey," said Faith, taking her other hand in hers. Buffy met her eyes. Faith didn't smile but tried to look more confident than she felt.  
  
"Nothing to worry about, B. We're in the middle of a big room. Anyone comes here and I'll hear them long before they can reach us."  
  
Buffy nodded ever so slightly. Faith sighed.  
  
"B, what happened? Why won't you tell me?," begged Faith.  
  
Buffy's lower lip trembled and she hugged Faith, burying her head against her chest. Faith's eyes opened in surprise. Slowly, hesitantly, she raised her arms and embraced Buffy, pulling Buffy to her. Buffy responded by holding Faith even tighter and Faith could tell she was trying not to cry. Faith closed her eyes and tried not to cry herself. She simply wasn't prepared for the emotions that were trying to overwhelm her as she held her fellow Slayer. That Buffy would ever come to her...after all that had happened, it just never seemed even remotely possible.  
  
"B, it's okay to cry. I'm here," said Faith softly. She felt Buffy nod. She didn't cry but her body shivered against Faith.   
  
"Hey, you cold?"  
  
Buffy pulled away and looked up, again nodding and wrapping her arms around her chest. Faith unzipped her jacket, slipped out of it and helped Buffy into the arms, zipping it up.  
  
"Here, lay down with me. We'll keep each other warm," instructed Faith, pulling Buffy down to a sitting position. She lay down on her side with one arm out, inviting Buffy with a nod to join her. Buffy didn't hesitate, resting her head on Faith's arm with her back to her in a spoon position. Faith put her other hand around Buffy's waist and pressed closer against her back. She caught the faint scent of vanilla in Buffy's hair.  
  
Faith didn't close her eyes. The sounds of the city at night came to them, distant and muffled. A police siren, a car horn...somewhere a dumpster was being emptied. These things Faith knew and was comfortable with. The lessons from living alone on the road were easily ignored but never forgotten. Her eyes grew heavy but she didn't want to fall asleep before Buffy. And she could tell by Buffy's shallow breathing that her friend was too wound up to fall asleep.  
  
Her friend. Is that what they were? Friends? She wondered what had happened to Buffy and what the morning would bring. Faith fought back a sudden wave of panic. Buffy would remember. Everything. No, they were not friends. Not after all Faith had put Buffy through. She wouldn't blame Buffy if she gutted her with a knife while she slept. And now Faith wondered if Buffy had a knife.  
  
From somewhere in the alley below came the sound of breaking glass. Buffy shot up into a sitting position, unable to tell where the sound had come from. Her eyes darted nervously around the room. And when Faith gently touched her shoulder she jumped. Their eyes met and Buffy immediately relaxed.   
  
Faith took one finger and pushed the bangs out of Buffy's eyes, first to one side and then to the other, pushing her hair up under her cap. Buffy swallowed, her eyes never leaving Faith's eyes.   
  
"Trust me," whispered Faith.  
  
Buffy smiled. Faith rested her palm against Buffy's cheek.  
  
"Close your eyes. Lay down with me."  
  
Buffy nodded, this time facing Faith as they moved onto their sides on the cold, hard floor. Their faces almost touching, Faith stared at Buffy's closed eyes, felt her breath in shallow puffs against her cheek...and felt a teardrop roll down her face even before she knew she was crying. Faith closed her eyes and bit her lip but couldn't stop the sobs which began to shake her body. She felt Buffy move but couldn't look at her.  
  
"Faith."  
  
A single word, less than a whisper. Even so it cut into Faith like Buffy had screamed her name. She felt herself being pulled up and didn't fight it. She felt Buffy's thumbs on her cheeks, wiping away her tears. But she cried even harder.  
  
"Faith, don't cry. Please don't cry," whispered Buffy.  
  
Faith finally opened her eyes. Buffy didn't seem to be afraid anymore, only sad. Faith closed her eyes again and pressed her face against Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry...Buffy, I'm so sorry. You have to believe me...you have to," sobbed Faith.  
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith, her eyes wide open. She didn't understand why, she only knew that Faith needed her. As much as Buffy needed Faith.  
  
*****  
  
"Faith?"  
  
Faith's eyes were open instantly. She sat up and looked around the room, expecting trouble. But they were alone. It was light out, probably not much past dawn. Buffy was sitting next to her, cross-legged and fixing her hair...into pigtails.  
  
"New look, B?," smiled Faith.  
  
"You don't like?," pouted Buffy, no longer fussing with her hair. "And my name's Buffy. Why did you call me B?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Do I know you? Do you know me? 'Cause I can't remember...even when I say your name out loud...Faith...and yet, I think we've met or, or something," said Buffy with a shrug.  
  
Faith stared at Buffy for a moment.  
  
"Okay, B, fun and games are over. Had me going there for a minute. So what are you playing at here?," smiled Faith.  
  
Buffy didn't move but suddenly looked scared.  
  
"Hey, you know me. How else would I know your name?," asked Faith.  
  
Buffy shrugged her shoulders but didn't say anything.  
  
"Maybe...maybe you have amnesia. Do you remember getting hit on the head last night?," asked Faith.  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Here, let me touch your head, see if there's a lump or something."  
  
Buffy leaned forward and Faith gently ran her fingers through her hair, feeling her scalp.  
  
"No bumps...anything sore?," asked Faith.  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Well, we do heal quick like," sighed Faith. "Maybe I can help you remember by asking you stuff, okay?"  
  
Buffy smiled and nodded.  
  
"Let's see...you're in Los Angeles. How did you get here?"  
  
"Bus. I took a bus."  
  
"Good. From where?," asked Faith.  
  
"Sunnydale. That's where I live."  
  
"Good again. Two down, eighteen to go. So, you know your name, where you are, where you're from...B, I mean Buffy, why did you come here?," asked Faith.  
  
"I...I was looking for someone," said Buffy, looking confused for the first time.  
  
"Do you know who you were looking for?"  
  
Buffy frowned and shook her head.  
  
"Was it Angel?," asked Faith.  
  
There was a moment of recognition but then Buffy looked sad.  
  
"I know that name. I should know that name," sighed Buffy. "How...why do I know that name?"  
  
"He's, uh...we'll get back to him. Maybe we should call someone, let them know you're okay. Did you come here alone?," asked Faith, just thinking of that.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Guess we could call Red. Not that she'd be happy to hear my voice," sighed Faith.  
  
"Red?," asked Buffy.  
  
"You know. Willow."  
  
Buffy started to giggle.  
  
"What?," asked Faith, smiling.  
  
"I saw Willow and Tara kissing. They didn't know that I saw them but I did!," giggled Buffy, covering her mouth with one hand.  
  
Faith stared at her for a moment.  
  
"Um, Buffy? You haven't been drinking, have you?," asked Faith.  
  
"You mean, like booze? No, of course not! That would be wrong," said Buffy.  
  
Faith stared at Buffy again.  
  
"Can this get any weirder? I should just call Giles and see..."  
  
"No!," yelled Buffy, grabbing Faith's wrist. Faith knew then that Buffy still had her Slayer strength.   
  
"No. Faith, please don't call him, okay? Promise me you won't."  
  
"But...why? Buffy, he's your Watcher. Or was. I think he can help us," explained Faith.  
  
"No," repeated Buffy, shaking her head and looking away from Faith. She let go of Faith's arm, drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Faith slid over next to her and put her arm around her.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong? You can tell me," said Faith softly.  
  
"I...I'm not supposed to tell," whispered Buffy, not looking up at Faith.  
  
"Tell? I don't...Buffy, you can trust me. I want to help but I can't unless you trust me. Plus you're starting to wig me out here," frowned Faith.  
  
"But, but I'll get in trouble," said Buffy nervously, glancing at Faith. "I know I will."  
  
"Get in trouble?," repeated Faith, knotting her eyebrows together.  
  
"You promise not to tell? You promise?," demanded Buffy.  
  
"Sure. I mean, of course!," said Faith, hugging Buffy a little tighter.  
  
Buffy bit her lower lip. She inhaled and then nodded.  
  
"He...sometimes Mr. Giles, he...well, he touches me," said Buffy with a pout.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You don't believe me. I knew you wouldn't!," protested Buffy, looking like she might cry.  
  
"No, no I do," said Faith quickly. "What do you mean he touches you?"  
  
"You know!," whined Buffy. "He...he touches me where he shouldn't," whispered Buffy, her face turning red.  
  
Faith's eyes opened wide and her face seemed to pale. She was going to say something but couldn't. She looked away for a moment and then stared back at Buffy.  
  
"Guess a way-to-go Rupert would be inappropriate right about now. Well, I asked if it could get any weirder and...hey, wait a minute! I bet I know what this is! Witchcraft! One of Willow's spells probably got screwed up again. And they don't even know where you are! Oh my God, your mom must be so worried!," said Faith.  
  
Buffy winced and closed her eyes.  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"Please don't call her," pleaded Buffy. "I can't...I can't talk to her."  
  
Faith took a deep breath and counted to five to herself.  
  
"Why? Buffy, your mom loves you. You know that," said Faith, bringing her face closer to Buffy's.  
  
"But she's mad at me," cried Buffy, finally starting to cry.  
  
"Oh, no she's not. And as soon as she hears your voice it won't matter what happened. You'll see."  
  
Buffy tried to smile, wanting to believe what Faith had said.  
  
"Why should she be mad at you?," asked Faith, squeezing Buffy's shoulder again.  
  
"Because...she blames me...and so does dad. Oh, they won't admit it. Not to me. But they do."  
  
"Blame you? I don't understand. For what?"  
  
"For them breaking up. It was my fault," sniffed Buffy.  
  
"Oh boy," sighed Faith. She pulled Buffy's head to her so that it rested against her chest. And because Buffy so eagerly sought comfort in her arms, Faith began to understand.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"You don't know? I thought you said you knew me. How can you not know how old I am if you know me?," asked Buffy, trying to pull away. Faith held onto her.  
  
"I'm sorry. You're right, it was a stupid question. Buffy, I don't want you to worry about anything. I'm going to take care of you. Okay?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Hey, you must be starving. Want to get some breakfast?," asked Faith.  
  
"Yeah. I do," said Buffy, pulling back and wiping her cheeks with the palms of her hands. Faith stood up and helped Buffy to her feet.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Willow is a witch?"  
  
"Um, yeah. But a good one. Like in the Wizard of Oz. Remember?," asked Faith.  
  
"Yeah," smiled Buffy. They started walking towards the door. Faith put her arm over Buffy's shoulders.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you. For last night...for everything. I, uh, I didn't know where I was going to stay, you know? Guess I didn't think this through all the way."  
  
"It happens. But hey, I said I'd take care of you. And I will. I promise."  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"You and me, B...I mean, Buffy...we have something in common. It's kinda hard to put into words, you know?," smiled Faith. "It's like..."  
  
"I know. I feel it too," smiled Buffy. She stopped walking and looked directly at Faith.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
It took all of Faith's willpower not to cry.  
  
END OF PART EIGHT  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Fear Of Falling, Chapter Three

Title: Fear Of Falling  
  
PART NINE  
  
Faith smiled, seeing that Buffy had finished her pancakes and yet still seemed hungry.  
  
"You still hungry? Want something else?," asked Faith.  
  
"Oh, no. Thank you."  
  
Faith kept smiling and shook her head.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Well...could I have some coffee?," asked Buffy, not expecting Faith to say yes.  
  
"No problem. But just one cup," warned Faith with a wink. Buffy smiled. Faith waved to the waitress and ordered two cups of coffee. After she brought them over Faith stood up from the counter. Buffy immediately looked worried.  
  
"Hey, I'm just going to call Willow. Okay? The pay phone is right over there," pointed Faith. "I want her to know that you're alright."  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"You know the number?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Uh, actually I don't. Do you?"  
  
Buffy reached for a napkin and grabbed a pencil that the waitress had left on the counter. She wrote the number down and handed it to Faith. Faith looked at it, feeling her breakfast at the back of her throat. The writing was scrawled like a little child had printed it.  
  
"She should be at the Magic Shop by now," said Buffy. Faith didn't want to ask what that meant.  
  
"I'll call her. She'll probably want to talk to you. Just, uh, drink your coffee. I want to talk to her first. And don't rush, it's hot," warned Faith. Buffy nodded and began to pour sugar into her cup.  
  
Faith stood in front of the pay phone, reread the number and took a deep breath. She knew that if Willow heard her voice she might just hang up the phone. Unless...  
  
Faith picked up the phone and dialed the operator.  
  
"Yes, I'd like to make a collect call."  
  
Faith read the number to the operator.  
  
"Who? From Buffy. Tell them it's Buffy," said Faith.  
  
The phone picked up after the first ring. A good sign, thought Faith. They're hoping Buffy will call.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Yes, I have a collect call from Buffy. Will you accept the charges?," said the operator in an even, practiced voice.  
  
"Yes! Oh, yes!"  
  
It was Willow's voice.  
  
"Buffy? Buffy, where are you? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"  
  
"Willow, it's me."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Willow, it's..."  
  
"I know who this is. What do you want?"  
  
Cold and direct, thought Faith.  
  
"I need your help."  
  
Willow didn't even try to hide her laughter.  
  
"Willow, please...don't hang up."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Alright, who is this? The real Faith would never say please."  
  
"Come on, Red, you know it's me."  
  
"Look, we're hoping...we're expecting a call and don't want to tie up this line, okay? When things settle down I'll have Giles call the prison and..."  
  
"I'm not in prison! I have Buffy."  
  
Silence.  
  
"What!? What do you mean you have her? Faith, I'm warning you, you'd better not hurt her. I'm one bad ass witch now and, and I'm not afraid of you!," yelled Willow.  
  
"No, just listen! I didn't mean...Red, I found her. She's here, in LA. But...," Faith glanced back to see Buffy sipping her coffee and lowered her voice, "there's something wrong. What the hell happened? What did you do to her?"  
  
"What did...what do you mean there's something wrong? What..."  
  
"She thinks she's a little girl! Or at least that's how she's acting. She knows her name, where she's from and...well, not much else. She doesn't know she's the Slayer and she sure as hell didn't recognize me. Did you screw up one of your spells again or something?," asked Faith.  
  
"She...hey, why do you think I screwed up a spell?," demanded Willow.  
  
"Why do you think I want to hurt her if I'm making this call?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Okay, fair point. Guess we have certain assumptions to get past here," admitted Willow.  
  
"Look, I need help here. Angel's missing..."  
  
"Angel's missing?," repeated Willow.  
  
"Yeah, I can't find him. And I really don't want to call Cordelia, ya know?," sighed Faith.  
  
"Gee, imagine that! Can't think of a reason why she wouldn't want to talk to you."  
  
"Willow!"  
  
"Sorry. Couldn't pass that one up. Old habits and such. Uh, Faith? You didn't happen to escape from prison, did you?"  
  
"No! I don't know why I'm out. But we don't have time for that right now!"  
  
"Right. We think Buffy might be under a spell, maybe a curse. And not mine, by the way! Is she acting any differently?," asked Willow.  
  
"I just said she thinks she's a little girl! Is that different enough?," snapped Faith.  
  
"No, I mean is she getting worse? Regressing more, talking less, uh, afraid more..."  
  
"Oh. Well, yeah, she's wicked afraid. Kinda wiggin' me out here."  
  
"Faith, Giles wants to talk to her. Can you put her on?," asked Willow.  
  
"No! Uh, she really shouldn't talk to him right now. It's...hard to explain."  
  
"Huh? What do...why?"  
  
"All good questions. Uh, I don't know what's been going on between those two, what kind of training she's been doing...but Buffy is afraid of him," said Faith cautiously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, she...she thinks he molested her."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
"Uh, sorry. Just trying to take this all in and not scream, ya know?"  
  
"I hear you," sighed Faith.  
  
"Where are you now?," asked Willow.  
  
"In some diner. I don't even know the address," said Faith.  
  
"Can I talk to Buffy?"  
  
"Sure. Hold on a sec," said Faith, letting the phone hang down by its cord. She turned around. Buffy was gone.  
  
"Shit!"  
  
Faith scanned the mostly empty diner and noticed the front door was just closing. She ran to the door and stepped outside. There were people walking up and down the sidewalk but she couldn't see Buffy.   
  
"Damn it!," winced Faith. She walked back into the diner. And saw Buffy coming out of the rest room.  
  
"Buffy!," yelled Faith, causing a few patrons to look up at her. She ran over to her and hugged her. Buffy looked up at her with a confused look.  
  
"Don't do that! You scared the hell out of me!," admonished Faith.   
  
"I, I only went to the bathroom," whimpered Buffy, looking scared.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. But I didn't know where you were!"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry," said Buffy.  
  
"Oh my God! Willow! Hey, come over to the phone. Willow wants to say hi," said Faith, leading Buffy by the hand.  
  
"Willow?," said Faith, even before she had the receiver near her mouth.  
  
"Faith! Where the hell were you? What happened?"  
  
"It's cool. I lost sight of her but she was only in the bathroom. Here, she wants to talk to you. And, uh, remember what I said, understand?," asked Faith.  
  
"I know. Put her on."  
  
Faith handed the phone to Buffy and smiled, nodding her encouragement. Buffy timidly took the phone.  
  
"Hello?," said Buffy, her voice small.  
  
"Buffy! Oh, it's so good to hear your voice! Are you okay?," asked Willow anxiously.  
  
"Yeah. I'm okay. I'm with Faith. Do you know her? She's nice," said Buffy, smiling at Faith. Faith smiled back.  
  
"Um, yeah, yeah she is. I...uh, Buffy, I want you to stay with her, okay? LA's a big city and I don't want you to get lost. We're going to come get you this afternoon. You can spend the day with her. Okay?"  
  
"Um, Willow...who's going to come get me?," asked Buffy nervously. Luckily Willow picked up on the tension in her voice.  
  
"Oh, uh, just me. And Tara. And maybe Xander. Okay?"  
  
"Okay," agreed Buffy, the relief in her voice obvious. "Willow?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You like Tara, don't you?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Yes. Yes I do," laughed Willow.   
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"Can I talk to Faith again? I have to ask her where we are going to meet."  
  
"Sure. Bye," said Buffy, handing the phone to Faith.  
  
"Any doubts now, Red?"  
  
"No. We can be there in a few hours. Where should we meet?"  
  
"You know where Angel's new place is?," asked Faith.  
  
"Giles does."  
  
"Good. We'll be out in front at two o'clock. Maybe Cordelia will show up or something."  
  
"Make it one, okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"And Faith?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Willow hesitated for a moment before speaking.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Hey, no big. I'll have a chance to brush up on my babysitting skills, ya know? Gotta go Red. Get rolling on your end," said.  
  
"Right."  
  
The phone clicked dead and Faith took a deep breath before hanging it up. She turned to Buffy and smiled.  
  
"If I remember right, you were...you are a big nut for ice skating. And I think there's a rink not far from here. Want to go check it out?," asked Faith.   
  
Buffy's answer was a smile.  
  
*****  
  
Willow hung up the phone.  
  
"Why didn't she want to talk to me?," demanded Giles.  
  
Willow sighed, puffing out her cheeks and rolling her eyes as everyone in the room stared at her, waiting for an answer. She stepped up on her toes and whispered something into Giles' ear. His eyes grew wide and for a moment it looked like he might throw up.  
  
"Here's the sitch. Faith is out of prison. Not sure why or how, but that's not important. Okay, it is important but...anyway, she found Buffy. Buffy's okay, except, well...she doesn't remember everything. And...and she thinks she's a little girl. Faith tried to get in touch with Angel but he just ain't around. We're going to meet Faith in front of Angel's new office at one o'clock. You do know where that is, right Giles?"  
  
"Yes," replied Giles.  
  
"She thinks she's a little girl?," asked Xander.  
  
"Makes sense," said Tara.  
  
"Huh?," said Xander and Anya at the same time.  
  
"She's retreating into herself. Her mind is trying to protect her the only way it knows how. Think about it. If Buffy is regressing, it's because she's going back to a time when she felt safe. When she wasn't the Slayer," explained Tara.  
  
"Oh," muttered Xander.  
  
"Why doesn't Faith call Cordy, stay with her until...oh. Never mind," sighed Xander.  
  
"I left a message but she hasn't called back yet. She must've spent the night out with some guy. Same old Cordy," frowned Willow.  
  
"Can you help Buffy? Magically, I mean," asked Anya.  
  
"I'm not sure that we should. This may be the best defense Buffy has against this threat. Not to mention how dangerous mixing magic with matters of the mind is. No, we have to find Mr. O'Flynn," said Giles. "Willow, Tara, Xander and I will go to get Buffy. Anya, you'll stay her in case Faith, or Cordelia...or even Angel calls."  
  
"And if Mr. O'Flynn calls?," asked Anya.  
  
"Oh. Yes, Mr. O'Flynn. Tell him that I went to LA to get his book for him and that I will be back tonight. And that I want to see him, that...that I've discovered something that may help him. Call me...oh, I guess we'll have to call you," said Giles.  
  
"Really should invest in a cell phone, Giles," said Willow.  
  
"Yes. Soon. Anya, call Joyce, tell her what's going on. Let's go, people," said Giles, already heading for the door.  
  
*****  
  
They were walking down the sidewalk when Buffy suddenly froze.  
  
"What?," said Faith, but Buffy ignored her, instead just staring ahead. Faith looked in that direction and saw a sign for a funeral parlor.   
  
"Does that bother you?," asked Faith, nodding in the direction of the sign. Buffy nodded.  
  
"Hey, no big. Let's cross the street," suggested Faith. Buffy hesitated and then nodded with an nervous smile. She slipped her hand into Faith's hand and now Faith smiled. There was no traffic coming so they began to cross over to the other side. A construction worker was kneeling next to an open manhole and glanced up at them. He whistled at them.  
  
"What are you looking at?," snapped Faith.  
  
"Hey, just wondering, ya know? Wondering if you ever had a real man. Might prefer it to girls if you found the right one, if you know what I mean," he smiled, glancing at Faith's hand holding Buffy's hand.  
  
"Thanks for the advice. And if I see a real man I might take him up on the offer," replied Faith.  
  
"Dyke!," yelled the man.  
  
"Bite me," answered Faith. They crossed to the other side and walked away.  
  
"What was his problem?," asked Buffy.  
  
"His problem was that he was a male and most males happen to be jerks," said Faith.  
  
Buffy glanced at her hand and rolled the claddagh ring around her finger.  
  
"Faith, was Angel a jerk?"  
  
Faith smiled.  
  
"No, Angel is one of the few good ones. I wish I knew where he was 'cause I'd take you to see him. Cordelia knows him but I really don't feel like talking to her," said Faith.  
  
"Cordy lives in LA?," asked Buffy excitedly.  
  
"Yeah. You remember her?"  
  
"Oh, sure. Why don't you want to call her?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Well, see...I said some things to her...I was kinda mean. I want to apologize, but I, I just don't know how," shrugged Faith, looking away.  
  
Buffy nodded even though she didn't understand. She rolled the ring around her finger again.  
  
*****  
  
"Good morning, this is the Magic Box, Anya speaking, how can I help you?"  
  
"Hi, Anya. This is Cordelia. Is Willow there? She called, something about Buffy and a life or death situation. Same old Sunnydale."  
  
"Cordelia! Oh, I'm so glad you called. Buffy's in LA and she might try to kill Angel!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Yeah, but see, she thinks she's a little girl so we're not exactly sure what she's thinking," said Anya, turning around to look at the photo of Buffy and Giles on the shelf behind her. The front door bell jingled as someone entered the shop but she didn't turn around.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Buffy's got this thing right now for demons. She sees one and she goes all WWF on it. So if she sees Angel, well, she might not be able to control herself and dust the poor guy. Oh, did I mention that she might be under a spell?"  
  
"Huh? Anya, I'm a little hungover this morning and this conversation is not helping, to say the least. Is Willow there?"  
  
"No. Willow went with Giles. Left for LA about half an hour ago. They're going to meet Faith in front of Angel Investigation's new office at one o'clock. Oh, yeah, Faith's out of prison and she's with Buffy," said Anya.  
  
"What!? When did homicidal psycho chick get a get out of prison free card, don't pass go, don't collect two hundred dollars, take a ride on the freakin' loony bin railroad? Aren't they supposed to notify a victim when their attacker gets released? Oh wait, I don't think I ever filed charges. Damn! Know what, I think I'm going to start drinking again and just stay in bed," sighed Cordelia.  
  
"You know, I like playing Monopoly too, but I'm better at...wait, no! You have to warn Angel!," shouted Anya.  
  
"Yeah. Well, if I can find him I'll tell him. Tell you what, I'm going to jump in the shower and have some coffee. I'll call you back and maybe this will all make a little more sense," said Cordelia.  
  
"Yeah, you do that. Hey, must've been one hell of a date," smiled Anya.  
  
"Not really. Hence the extra drinking. So...how's Xander?," asked Cordelia nonchalantly.  
  
"Great. Really. He's got a good job now in construction, and, well...we're really happy," grinned Anya.  
  
"That's great. I'm glad, for both of you. I'll call back soon, okay?"  
  
"Sure. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Anya hung up the phone and turned around. Mr. O'Flynn was standing on the other side of the counter, staring at the photo of Buffy and Giles.  
  
"Mr. O'Flynn!," said Anya, more than startled.  
  
"So, it seems that I misjudged our Mr. Giles," said Mr. O'Flynn, not taking his eyes off of the photo. "He went to get her. Doesn't matter. Buffy is only buying herself some time. Being apart from me only slows the process down, it doesn't stop it. I don't even have to find her...I just need to be nearby."  
  
"Mr. O'Flynn, we found a copy of that book you wanted. Giles, he, he went to get it for you. Tonight...he'll have it tonight," said Anya nervously.  
  
"As it is written...the heart is devious above all else, it is perverse...who can understand it?"  
  
Mr. O'Flynn finally looked away from the photo and glared at Anya.  
  
"I can understand it. I am the Confessor! And the evil will be cleansed."  
  
Mr. O'Flynn turned and stormed out of the shop.  
  
*****  
  
Giles pulled the car over to the side of the road, his knuckles white from how hard he gripped the steering wheel.   
  
"Giles, relax. It's only a flat tire. You, uh, do have a spare in the trunk, right?," asked Xander.  
  
"Yes. But now we will be late," snarled Giles through clenched teeth.  
  
"Only a little bit," comforted Willow.  
  
"Okay, everybody out of the car and get over onto the grass. I'll change the tire," said Xander.  
  
*****  
  
"Buffy, you must be hot in that sweatshirt. If you're not going to take it off, why not at least roll up the sleeves?," asked Faith.  
  
"No, I'm fine," answered Buffy, pulling her left sleeve up to cover her wrist. She picked up her spoon and poked at her ice cream but didn't eat any.  
  
"What's not to like about a hot fudge sundae? C'mon girl, dig in," said Faith, taking another bite from her own sundae.  
  
Buffy smiled but just twirled the spoon around in her hand.  
  
"B...Buffy...what's wrong? You don't feel good?"  
  
"I...I don't know," answered Buffy.  
  
"Hey, the sign said the rink opens at one. We can go back there later if you want," said Faith.  
  
"No, it's not that," sighed Buffy.  
  
"So, what's up? You can tell me."  
  
Buffy looked up at Faith and seemed embarrassed.  
  
"Well, don't laugh at me, but...I, I guess I'm just a little homesick," shrugged Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, that's not something to be ashamed of! And we're going to meet Willow soon. You'll be home before dinner," smiled Faith. Buffy nodded and smiled.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry," said Buffy.  
  
"You'd better hurry up there, that ice cream is melting. Here, you want my cherry?," asked Faith, spooning her cherry on top of Buffy's sundae. Buffy grinned, took a big spoonful of ice cream and put it into her mouth.  
  
"Uh, Buffy? I need to go to the bathroom. Do you have to go?," asked Faith.  
  
"No."  
  
"Um...alright, but I feel kinda funny leaving you here alone," frowned Faith. "Sure you don't want to..."  
  
"Faith, we're in a crowded restaurant in the middle of the day. What could happen?"  
  
"Okay. You're right. I'll be right back."  
  
Buffy took another bite of ice cream and looked over at the register. A man, with his back to her, had just come in and ordered a cup of coffee to go. He had short black hair and was wearing a black leather coat.  
  
"Angel?," called out Buffy.  
  
The man either didn't hear Buffy or chose to ignore her. The waitress handed the man his cup and when he turned Buffy realized that she didn't know him. Buffy put her the spoon down and touched the claddagh ring on her finger, spinning it around without looking at it. She hesitated and then slowly brought her hand up to her throat, gently touching a small scar there.  
  
"Angel," whispered Buffy once again.   
  
Her hand began to tremble so she put it into her lap. She wondered if anyone had seen her but no one seemed to be looking in her direction at the moment.   
  
Cordelia knows him...Cordy lives in LA.   
  
There was a pay phone on the wall behind her. Buffy got up and pulled out the phone book from below the phone. Flipping through the pages, her finger ran down the list of numbers until she found the address she wanted. She glanced over her shoulder. The waitress seemed busy so she ripped the page from the book and stuffed it into her pocket. Buffy pushed past someone coming into the restaurant and left.  
  
Faith came out of the restroom and immediately saw that Buffy was gone. She quickly flagged down the waitress.  
  
"Excuse me! The girl I was with...where did she go?," asked Faith frantically.  
  
"Honey, I'm alone here until three o'clock and you can see how busy we are. I can't keep track of everyone, ya know?," shrugged the waitress.  
  
Faith pulled two five dollar bills from her pocket and threw them onto the counter.  
  
"Here, keep the change," said Faith, already running for the door. Once outside she looked up and down the street but saw no sign of Buffy.  
  
"Shit!," yelled Faith. She looked left and then decided to go right, running as fast as she could.  
  
The waitress began to clear away their dishes, happy with the tip. She realized one of the steak knives was missing and she leaned over the counter to see if it had fallen onto the floor but didn't see it. With a shrug she looked up as a new customer sat down.  
  
"I'll be right with you," she said.  
  
"Only have time for a cup of coffee," said the man, glancing at his watch.  
  
After tossing the dishes under the counter the waitress wiped off the counter and poured a cup of coffee, setting it down in front of the man.  
  
"Say, I have a meeting at Angel Investigations and I was told it was near here. Do you know how to get there?," asked the man.  
  
"Sure, it's only about six blocks from here. Just take a right out front and you can't miss it. I think it was once a large hotel, maybe back in the fifties."  
  
"Yes, that sounds like the place. Thank you," said Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
END OF PART NINE  
  
PART TEN  
  
Cordelia parked her car about half a block away from Angel's office. Faith had seen her drive up so there was no sense in staying in the car. She reached into her purse, pulled out a can of mace and got out of the car, never taking her eyes off of the Slayer. Faith put her hands into her pockets and looked down at the sidewalk, trying to present as submissive a posture as possible so that Cordelia would know she was no threat. Cordelia stopped about ten feet away from Faith, hand out in front of her, tightly gripping the mace.  
  
"Okay, where's Giles? What have you done with him? And stay right where you are, I won't hesitate to use this. And, and I can scream real loud like if I have to," added Cordelia.  
  
"Cordelia..."  
  
Faith took a deep breath, trying not to get upset.  
  
"Giles hasn't shown up yet. He's late. And I'll stay this far away from you, or even further back if you want, but put your hand down. It's...embarrassing," said Faith.  
  
Cordelia hesitated but lowered her arm.  
  
"Where's Buffy?," demanded Cordelia.  
  
"I don't know. She ran away."  
  
"What!? And you let her?"  
  
"I didn't let her! I, I just lost sight of her for a minute and..."  
  
"Great. So now what do we do?," asked Cordelia.  
  
"I don't know," sighed Faith. "Do you know where Angel is?"  
  
"No. Is the front door locked?," asked Cordelia, nodding towards the office. Faith nodded.  
  
"Well, I have a key. I'll check to see if he's in, but even if he is, I doubt if he'll help us," said Cordelia.  
  
"What? We're talking about Buffy here," said Faith, astonished.  
  
"Yeah, well Angel fired me. And Wesley and...let's just say Angel has some major issues right now, the biggest being Darla."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"You don't know who...long story," said Cordelia, rolling her eyes. "I'll be right back."  
  
Cordelia moved cautiously past Faith, never turning her back to her. Faith turned to face the street again, closing her eyes and wincing when she knew Cordelia couldn't see her face. She opened her eyes and looked around. Traffic was light. An old Volkswagen beetle slowed down as it drove by but Faith ignored it.  
  
Another twenty minutes went by. Cordelia came out, shook her head and stood about twenty feet away from Faith. Finally Giles' car turned the corner and pulled up in front of them. Faith smiled...and then didn't, seeing everyone in the car staring at her. She put her hands back into her pocket. All four doors opened at once but only Giles approached Faith.  
  
"Faith, where's Buffy?," he asked.  
  
"She let her get away," snapped Cordelia.  
  
"I didn't..."  
  
Faith stopped, seeing the disappointment on Giles' face.  
  
"I'm sorry. She was only out of my sight for a minute. She ran away...I don't know where she is," said Faith.  
  
Giles closed his eyes and cursed under his breath.  
  
"When you last saw her, how was she?," asked Giles.  
  
"Fine. We were eating ice cream. Believe me, I looked for her," pouted Faith.  
  
"Giles, I talked to Anya. She said something about a Mr. O'Flynn, that he was coming here, to LA," said Cordelia. She had Giles' full attention. "This guy was in the shop and overheard Anya talking to me, that we were going to meet here in front of Angel's office. Said something about his being near Buffy was all he needed for the spell to work, that being apart from her only slowed the spell down."  
  
"Is Angel...," began Giles.  
  
"He's not in. I checked."  
  
Xander, Willow and Tara had not moved away from the car and had not spoken. They were now looking at Giles, waiting for him to decide what to do.  
  
"Giles, we need to go look for her. Buffy likes ice skating. There's a rink not far from here. I was going to take her there while I waited for you but it didn't open until one. Maybe she went there. Why don't we split up? Someone can go with me, you can drive around...the restaurant we were at is only six blocks from here, she couldn't have gone far," said Faith.  
  
No one moved. Giles looked back at the others and then turned back to face Faith.  
  
"What?," asked Faith with a shrug. But still no one said anything.  
  
"Oh. I get it. Look, I don't expect any of you to like me. I'm down with that much, but if we're going to find Buffy, if you want to help her, you're going to have to trust me!," said Faith.   
  
Everyone looked more uncomfortable than before.  
  
"Right," laughed Cordelia.  
  
"Hey! I called you, didn't I? Shouldn't that count for something? You never even would've known...oh, what's the use?," said Faith, shaking her head. She wouldn't look at any of them.  
  
"Faith."  
  
Everyone looked at Willow.  
  
"I think there may be a way for us to trust you," said Willow. She leaned over and whispered into Tara's ear. After about a minute Tara smiled and nodded. Willow faced Faith again.  
  
"Okay. There's a simple incantation I can perform. It's...kinda like a post hypnotic suggestion. Basically, if you try to hurt one of us you'll get a searing sharp pain in your head, bad enough that you might pass out. Then again, you're a Slayer, so who knows?," shrugged Willow.  
  
"I'd take a slap in the face to see that," commented Cordelia. Faith pretended not to hear even as Willow glared at Cordelia.  
  
"It's similar to the chip in Spike's head," added Tara.  
  
"So...you trust me with my magicks?," asked Willow.  
  
"Hell no!," snapped Faith. "But if it's the only way you're going to trust me...go on, do your bippitty, boppitty boo and be done with it," frowned Faith.  
  
Willow smiled and dug out of her backpack a vial of dark oil, deep gold in color.   
  
"This won't take long," she announced.  
  
Willow took the cap off of the vial and placed her thumb over the opening. She first anointed her forehead, then Tara's, all the time her lips moving although she didn't voice her words. She repeated this for Xander, Giles and finally Cordelia, who looked unhappy with the whole procedure.  
  
Standing in front of Faith, Willow hesitated and stared into the Slayer's eyes.  
  
"You will not harm my friends," glared Willow.  
  
Surprisingly, Faith looked away as if she was offended. Willow anointed Faith's forehead, closed her eyes and mumbled softly words that Faith didn't understand.  
  
"My will be done," commanded Willow, removing her hand from Faith's forehead and stepping back.  
  
"Great. Can we go now?," asked Faith.  
  
"Yes. Yes, we should," agreed Giles. "Cordelia, there is a chance, however slim, that Buffy may try to call you. Why don't you go back to your apartment and wait? Xander and I will drive around the area. Willow and Tara will go on foot with Faith to the ice rink. We'll all meet back here in one hour, unless you find Buffy. Then you'll call Cordelia. Agreed?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan," nodded Xander, happy to finally be able to do something. He glanced at Faith and quickly looked away when he noticed that she was looking at him.  
  
Cordelia drove off, saving one last sneer for Faith. After Giles left with Xander there was an uncomfortable silence among the girls.  
  
"Follow me," announced Faith as she walked off. Willow and Tara quickly caught up.   
  
"Faith!," whispered Willow loudly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"No, don't look at me. Just keep walking and listen. Act casual. And don't turn around. We're being followed," whispered Willow, glancing at Tara to make sure she was listening as well. Tara nodded.  
  
"By who?," asked Faith, not so much as turning her head to look at Willow.  
  
"His name is Mr. O'Flynn. He's the one working this mojo on Buffy. He's about my height, has thinning reddish hair and is wearing a black turtleneck and a gray suit jacket. I just noticed him get out of his car when Giles drove off. Maybe he thinks we'll lead him to Buffy."  
  
"Why does he need Buffy?"  
  
"Like Cordelia said, something about the spell working quicker if she's close to him," explained Willow.  
  
"So why don't I just jump the guy? Is he something to be afraid of?," asked Faith.  
  
"You shouldn't let him touch you. We think it's how did the spell," said Tara.  
  
"Hell, one quick punch to the jaw should do it," complained Faith.  
  
"I'm liking your thinking," agreed Willow, drawing raised eyebrows from Tara. "Tell you what, let's turn right at the next corner and wait for him to catch up. He won't be expecting it."  
  
"And I'm liking your thinking," smiled Faith.  
  
They reached the corner and turned, moving up against the building with Faith in front. And they waited. Almost two minutes passed.  
  
"Something ain't right here," said Faith. She stepped out past the corner and looked in the direction they had come. There was no sign of Mr. O'Flynn.  
  
"Shit again!," barked Faith.   
  
"He must've gotten suspicious. Damn it! Faith, we have to find him," said Willow.  
  
"What about Buffy? Need to find her too, and before this guy," said Faith.  
  
"Where's this ice rink?," asked Tara.  
  
"Just stay on this street, you can't miss it," pointed Faith.  
  
"Okay. Willow, I'll go try to find Buffy. You and Faith go after Mr. O'Flynn," said Tara. Willow looked none too happy with leaving Tara alone and Faith picked up on it.  
  
"Red, she'll be fine. You got any better ideas?"  
  
"No," sighed Willow. "Alright, but be careful."  
  
Tara nodded and left.  
  
"Come on," said Faith.  
  
*****  
  
Cordelia tossed her keys onto the table and then walked into the bathroom. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she fumed at the oil on her forehead but didn't dare remove it. There was a knock at her door.  
  
"Cordy?"  
  
Cordelia's eyes flew open.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Cordelia ran to the door, grabbed the knob and opened the door a few inches. And the door was slammed shut. It took a moment for her to figure out what happened.  
  
"Dennis! You let me open this door right now. It's Buffy. She's a friend. Well, okay, we're not best buds...okay, we're not even that friendly. But...oh, just let me open the door!"  
  
Cordelia tried to open the door but it was again slammed shut.  
  
"Dennis! Oh, wait, I get it. The last Slayer that was here punched me! Dennis, this one's the good one, nothing to worry about. Okay?"  
  
Cordelia placed her hand on the knob and tentatively turned it. The door opened.  
  
"Buffy. Oh, it's so good to see you! You've got everyone worried sick."  
  
"Hi, Cordy. Can I come in?," smiled Buffy, giving the door a wary glance.  
  
"Of course! How did you find me?," asked Cordelia, ignoring her look.  
  
"Oh, I just asked someone for directions after I gave them your address."  
  
Cordelia shut the door.  
  
"Are you alright? How do you feel?," asked Cordelia.  
  
"Okay, I guess," shrugged Buffy.  
  
"Great. I can take you to see Willow in about forty five minutes. Believe me, she'll be happy to see you. Can I get you something?"  
  
"No thank you. I like your apartment," commented Buffy, looking around.  
  
"Thanks. So..."  
  
"Cordelia, where's Angel? I need to find Angel," said Buffy.  
  
"Angel? He's...well, he's not home right now. But I can call him, leave a message. Why do you need to see him?," asked Cordelia suspiciously.  
  
"I...I don't know," replied Buffy, suddenly looking confused.  
  
"Oh. Hey, why don't you sit down and...and...oh no..."  
  
Cordelia grabbed her head and fell to the floor. The vision came suddenly and was very vivid. Two hands were reaching for her throat...and then they were on her throat...Cordelia couldn't breathe, felt her throat being crushed...she looked into the eyes of her attacker...and saw Buffy.  
  
"Cordy! What's wrong?," yelled Buffy.  
  
Cordelia shook her head, trying to focus on the Buffy now kneeling by her side. And she saw fear overtake the Slayer. Buffy scrambled away from her, mouth open, shaking her head.  
  
"No. No...not you too," cried Buffy.  
  
"Buffy?," said Cordelia, trying to stand but still too dizzy to do so.  
  
And now Buffy stood. She was no longer afraid. And she was holding the steak knife that she had stolen from the diner.  
  
"Cordelia."  
  
Buffy's voice was now cold and distant, devoid of any emotion.  
  
"I'm going to help you. I'm going to set you free of the demon."  
  
Cordelia's eyes opened wide, staring at the knife in Buffy's hand.  
  
*****  
  
They came to an intersection but saw no sign of Mr. O'Flynn. Willow darted to her left but Faith grabbed her arm, pulling her back.  
  
"Wait. We need to split up, to cover more..."  
  
Faith stopped, staring at Willow's arm.  
  
"Hey, I just yanked on your arm pretty hard. Why didn't that spell kick in?," asked Faith, now looking at Willow's eyes. Willow began to say something but changed her mind.   
  
"Faith, there is no spell. I did it for the others, so that they would trust you. Well, maybe trust you is pushing it. I did it so they wouldn't fear you," admitted Willow.  
  
"Oh. But...but you trusted me?," asked Faith, letting go of her arm.  
  
"Yeah. Figured that if you were going to hurt Buffy you would've done it already and not bothered to call about it. Unless it was to brag," added Willow.  
  
"Wow. I....just, wow."  
  
"Hey, I trusted you. I didn't say I liked you," said Willow.  
  
Faith smiled.  
  
"So what was the oil?," asked Faith.  
  
"Olive oil. I like to put it on my salads," answered Willow with a grin.  
  
Faith shook her head.  
  
"Witch," accused Faith.  
  
"Slayer," countered Willow.  
  
"Okay, you go that way, I'll head down here. Sound good?"  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
"And I knew there was no spell," said Faith.  
  
"Oh, you so did not!," protested Willow.  
  
Faith smiled again.  
  
"Be careful," warned Faith.  
  
Willow looked at Faith for a moment.  
  
"You too," nodded Willow.  
  
*****  
  
"Buffy, listen to me! You don't have to do this!"  
  
Cordelia tried to keep the table between herself and Buffy. She would move to one side, opposite of the direction Buffy went. Buffy held the knife point down, her eyes dilated as if she were in a trance.  
  
"What is it with you Slayers? You're like a carton of milk! As soon as you hit a certain date you go all sour and then you go bad!," yelled Cordelia, again changing direction.  
  
Just then a chair slid across the room and knocked the knife from Buffy's hand.  
  
"Thank you, Dennis! And may I add it's about time?," grimaced Cordelia.  
  
Buffy ignored the knife, looked at Cordelia...and smiled. Then she jumped up onto the table in one smooth motion, landing on her feet.  
  
"Oh, this is not good," whimpered Cordelia. She knew she would never make it to the door in time.  
  
Buffy jumped down onto the floor in front of Cordelia.  
  
"Buffy...please," begged Cordelia.  
  
Cordelia screamed even before Buffy's hands gripped her throat.  
  
*****  
  
Willow almost ran past the side alley. She stopped...and there he was. Mr. O'Flynn made no attempt to run away. He simply stood there with his arms crossed, watching her.  
  
"What the hell do you want?," barked Willow, walking towards him.  
  
"Same thing as you. I'm looking for Buffy."  
  
"Why?," demanded Willow.  
  
"It's simple, really. I will free her of her demon."  
  
"She doesn't have a demon! Buffy helps people...she protects us!," protested Willow. She was now only an arm's length away from him. "Don't you understand? Buffy is the Slayer."  
  
"You're wrong. I know...I can sense them," replied Mr. O'Flynn flatly.  
  
"What's going to happen to her?," asked Willow, her voice breaking.  
  
"Same as all the others. She will either be free of the demon...or she will go insane. Perhaps kill herself. They often do, unable to bear the guilt of their sins," added Mr. O'Flynn nonchalantly.  
  
Willow stared at him.  
  
"How, how many of the others became free of their demons?," asked Willow.  
  
"None. They were all found to be unworthy," he replied, taking a step towards Willow.  
  
Willow took a step back, stumbled, but caught herself.  
  
"You still don't understand, do you?," he laughed. Willow took another step back and bumped into the brick wall behind her.   
  
"I will finally be free of the curse. A curse put upon me by one of your kind, witch!"  
  
"My kind? But I didn't do it, I've never harmed anyone...I'm not evil!," protested Willow.  
  
"Really?," he smiled, taking another step towards her. Willow could smell the alcohol on his breath now.   
  
"The Gift doesn't lie to me. I sensed the evil in this Buffy, even you don't deny that, calling her a slayer...but I didn't have to sense it in you. I saw you with that girl, holding hands. You disgust me!," he sneered, leaning in, his stale breath making Willow wince.  
  
"You, you mean...Tara? What does...I don't understand. Why should..."  
  
"What's there to understand? It's wrong!," he yelled.  
  
Willow began to comprehend what she was facing. And she felt her own anger begin to rise within her.  
  
"Wrong? Evil? What gives you the right to judge anyone!? Who the hell do you think you are!?," yelled Willow, stepping towards him, their faces almost touching. He stood his ground.  
  
"I'm the Confessor," he replied, as if simply stating a fact.  
  
"You're going to break this curse," commanded Willow.  
  
"I couldn't even if I wanted to. The evil within her will consume her. My debt will be paid, and I will be free."  
  
"Be free? Your debt...I, I don't understand," yelled Willow.  
  
"It's the curse. I must find evil...and destroy it. And at first I didn't understand my destiny. I thought I knew, but I was wrong! But it's all so clear to me now. It's not how many must die for me to be free. Don't you understand? It's so simple. What matters is how great the evil is! Even you must sense it in Buffy! How can you not? The darkness is so deep within her. She must die...and, and I won't have to kill anymore. I will be free!," he screamed.  
  
"You're insane! Buffy's not evil! You fool, she helps people! She's not a slayer, she is the Slayer! It's not the same thing! You, you can't just take a human life! You have to break this spell you put her under!," yelled Willow. "There must be a way! Please!"   
  
"No."  
  
"Has anyone, even just once, lived through this?," begged Willow.  
  
"No. They were all unworthy," replied Mr. O'Flynn with genuine sadness. Willow saw that maybe, just maybe, she could make him understand.  
  
"What if you made a mistake? Isn't it possible? Couldn't you have mistaken an innocent person for what you thought..."  
  
"No. She's deceived you. She must be cleansed of her evil. Buffy will die. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it," he smiled.  
  
"Is that a fact?," snarled Willow.   
  
She turned and backed away from him. Willow closed her eyes. The Confessor took a step back and withdrew a gun from inside of his jacket, pointing it at her, unsure of what Willow was doing.  
  
"Speak a word, witch, and I'll use this. You'll not use your evil on me," he warned.  
  
Willow opened her eyes. She looked at the gun, then at the Confessor's face. Willow clenched her fist and the gun was knocked from his grasp and slid on the ground by Willow's feet. She quickly knelt down and picked it up. He took a step towards her but froze as Willow stood up.  
  
"I knew it! My instincts are never wrong. Witch!"  
  
Willow smiled and closed the distance between them. The Confessor smiled back.  
  
"Damn right," laughed Willow, thrusting the gun against his left ear. The Confessor's smile turned into a grin.  
  
"Interesting. But you forget, the Gift allows me to envision your soul. I know you, perhaps better than you know yourself. You cannot take a human life. The hatred, the intensity needed to give into the moment, it simply isn't within you. You fear what the act would do to you."  
  
Willow pulled back the hammer with her thumb. The click of the metal snapping into place echoed loudly in the alley. For the first time a look of uncertainty clouded the Confessor's eyes.  
  
"Willow, no!," yelled Faith, suddenly appearing at the end of the alley. The Confessor glanced behind her at Faith but Willow never took her eyes off of him. Faith didn't move.  
  
"Are you now judging me? To use your own words, what gives you the right?," he asked calmly.  
  
"You have no humanity left within you," whispered Willow, tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
The Confessor smiled. Willow's hand began to tremble.  
  
"You can't kill. Some people just don't have that in them," he whispered.  
  
Willow pulled the trigger.   
  
END OF PART TEN  
  
PART ELEVEN  
  
Cordelia slowly opened her eyes. At first the only thing she understood was that she was breathing. Then she realized that Buffy's arms were on her. Frantically she pushed them off and scrambled away before seeing that Buffy wasn't moving. She touched her neck, painfully sore from Buffy's grip. Cordelia stared at Buffy and wasn't sure if she was breathing. She couldn't decide whether to check for a pulse or to get a frying pan to hit Buffy with. Knowing how futile kitchen utensils would be against a Slayer, Cordelia crawled back and placed two fingers on the side of Buffy's neck.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
"Willow, give me the gun."  
  
Willow didn't move. Her arm was still raised in front of her. She was staring, eyes unfocused, at where Mr. O'Flynn had been standing.  
  
"Willow."  
  
Willow slowly turned her head and faced Faith but didn't seem to recognize her. Faith spoke very slowly.  
  
"Willow, give me the gun."  
  
Willow still didn't move. Faith very slowly reached over and gently pried the gun from her hand.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
Faith knelt down and put the gun on the ground, avoiding looking at the body. She stood back up and took Willow's hand, pushing her arm down by her side.  
  
"Faith...what happened? Is...is he dead?," asked Willow in a whisper.  
  
"Yeah. He is. Willow, look at me."  
  
Willow surprised Faith by looking at her.  
  
"There's not much time. We have to go. Someone will have heard the gunshot. You understand?," asked Faith.  
  
"What? No. Faith...Faith, I killed someone. Oh my God, I killed him!," cried Willow, her eyes suddenly full of terror. "Oh my God..."  
  
"Willow..."  
  
Willow's eyes met Faith's. If Faith had shown any other emotion than what she saw Willow would have simply lost it, would have broken down and never stopped crying. She had never seen sadness or sympathy in this girl before, ever. From anyone else it wouldn't have mattered, it would have been expected. But Willow knew Faith understood.  
  
Faith swallowed hard and put her hands on Willow's shoulders. When she spoke her voice was barely a whisper.  
  
"We've got to go. Now. Before someone sees..."  
  
Willow shook her head in refusal.  
  
"He said Buffy was going to die...Faith...he said she would die," whimpered Willow.  
  
"Willow...get out of here. Now!"  
  
Willow looked down at the body. She didn't cry tears but her body shook with sobs. Faith let go of her, glanced at Mr. O'Flynn and shook her head.  
  
"Willow," she whispered, trying to get her attention. Willow closed her eyes and began to cry.  
  
Faith sighed and began to pace, whispering to herself.  
  
"I can't do this...damn it...I can't do this..."  
  
Faith stopped pacing.  
  
"It's. Not. Fair!," she screamed.  
  
Faith faced the brick wall behind them and closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cool brick. She opened her eyes...and violently punched the wall. Faith doubled over in pain, holding her bleeding knuckles with her other hand. She turned and saw Willow staring at her.  
  
"Pain. Helps me think clearly," explained Faith, holding up her bleeding fist.  
  
Willow gave her a baffled look. Faith put her good hand on Willow's arm.  
  
"Get out of here. Now. Run," said Faith.  
  
"What? Be we can't..."  
  
"There is no we. I'll stay. Now go."  
  
"Faith, what are you saying?"  
  
"Do I gotta spell it out for you? I'm taking the fall for you. Hell, my prints are on that gun now so it doesn't matter what you tell them. Who's story are they going to believe? A straight A honor student or someone who just got out of prison for assault?"  
  
Willow stared at Faith and then, again, looked down at the body. She quickly looked away, her stomach churning.  
  
"No...no, I won't let you. You're right, it isn't fair!," protested Willow, pushing Faith's arm away.  
  
"Learned that a long time ago. Life never is. Doesn't matter what you tell the cops, I'll just say you're trying to cover for me," said Faith.  
  
Willow started to cry.  
  
"Damn it, you gotta go! Someone is going to see you!," yelled Faith.  
  
Willow covered her face with her hands. Faith grabbed her and shook her.  
  
"Red, snap out of it! You can cry later, not now! I'm not going to let you throw your life away over one mistake! This guy deserved it. Hell, he tried to kill Buffy. You understand that? Buffy would've died, right? Right!? You...I...just got to him first. It's that simple."  
  
"It's not that simple!," yelled Willow.  
  
"What do you want from me? You want to run away, both of us, right now? Been there...it doesn't work. Willow...Willow, what's one more sin on my resume? I can never make it right. But you...Willow, do you want to go to prison?"  
  
"I...Faith, I can't think right now. I, I'll say it was self defense. I...I..."  
  
Willow began to cry again. Faith looked back down the alley. It was still empty.  
  
"There's no easy choices here. None. But I have an idea. Problem is...you'll have to trust me," said Faith.  
  
Willow looked at Faith, looked at the body...and nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.  
  
*****  
  
Cordelia's eyes opened wide in absolute fear. Her first thought was to smack herself for not running away when she had the chance. She didn't have time for a second thought. Buffy's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Buffy!," yelled Cordelia. She felt Buffy's grip ease up just a bit.  
  
"Cordy...it's okay. It's me. Really."  
  
Her voice was soft, almost reassuring. Buffy let go of Cordelia's wrist. Cordy stood up and backpedaled until she hit the wall behind her. Buffy stood up.  
  
"Cordy, I'm sorry. I can't explain what happened...I know what I did, but, but that wasn't me. Are you okay?," asked Buffy.  
  
Cordelia nodded but didn't move, not quite convinced she was safe yet.  
  
"I oughta slap you," threatened Cordelia.  
  
Buffy smiled. And then her expression changed to one of apprehension.  
  
"Willow," whispered Buffy. "Cordelia, something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong."  
  
*****  
  
Faith rummaged through the litter in the alley, getting angry. Then she saw several wooden loading pallets stacked up by a door. She picked one up, threw it to the ground and kicked it into splinters. Hefting a good sized piece of two by four in her hand, she walked back to the body.  
  
"This will have to do," she said not looking at Willow. She grabbed Mr. O'Flynn's right hand, forced it open and pressed the wood against his palm. Then she tossed the two by four to one side, picked up the gun by the barrel and pulled her shirt free from her pants. Wiping down the gun as best as she could, Faith put the weapon into Mr. O'Flynn's hand, wrapping his fingers around it and wiping down the barrel where she had touched it with her shirt.  
  
Faith stood and faced Willow.  
  
"Are you ready?," asked Faith nervously.  
  
Willow swallowed once, looked at the body, then focused on Faith. She nodded slowly, her head barely moving, her lower lip trembling. Faith nodded and turned as if to go.  
  
And then Faith whirled, lashing out with her fist, catching Willow in the stomach. Willow doubled over and Faith followed up with a hard punch against the side of her face. She collapsed face down on the ground and didn't move. Faith knelt down beside her.  
  
"I'm sorry, Red. I wish there was some other way."   
  
Faith got up and ran.  
  
Tara crossed the street just in time to see Faith tear out of the alley and run away from her. Tara began to run after her.  
  
"Faith! Wait!"  
  
Faith never slowed down. Tara reached the alley and stopped running. Curious, she glanced in that direction. And at first she couldn't comprehend what she saw.  
  
"Willow!"  
  
*****  
  
Cordelia pulled up in front of Angel's office and Buffy opened the door even before the car came to a stop. She jumped out and Giles, Xander and Anya all shouted her name at the same time. Giles ran to her.  
  
"Buffy, you're alright!," he said, so excited he almost laughed. But Buffy didn't seem happy to see him.  
  
"Giles, I'm okay. Look," said Buffy, pulling up her left sleeve. The snake tattoo was gone.   
  
"How...," began Giles, smiling with joy.  
  
"Giles, where's Willow?," demanded Buffy, her voice full of concern.  
  
Before he could answer they both heard someone running towards them. Turning, they saw it was Faith. Giles glanced at Buffy but she never took her eyes off of Faith. The other Slayer reached them, gasping for breath.  
  
"B, you're okay!," smiled Faith. "Where..."  
  
Faith froze, seeing the look on Buffy's face, a look she knew all too well. Contempt. Naked contempt. Faith knew the old Buffy was back.  
  
"Faith, where's Willow?," snapped Buffy.  
  
Faith stared at Buffy, her open mouth desperately inhaling air. Buffy took a step towards her.  
  
"Faith!"  
  
Faith looked at Giles and saw the same bitter look on his face.  
  
"Giles, call an ambulance. Now!," said Faith. She turned so that they wouldn't see the pain she knew she couldn't hide.  
  
*****  
  
"Giles, what's taking so long?," asked Tara. "Why can't I see her?"  
  
"Tara, the doctor said she'll be fine. She's awake now. It could've been worse; only a mild concussion and two fractured ribs," reminded Giles.  
  
"But why does the detective get to see her before us?," whined Tara.  
  
"We're not immediate family, Tara. If we were, then things would be different," explained Xander.  
  
"But, but I'm her girlfriend. D...doesn't that count for something? Mm...may...maybe I should tell them," said Tara hopefully.  
  
"Maybe in a perfect world," sighed Anya.  
  
Xander sadly glanced at Giles and then put his arm around Tara.  
  
"It won't be much longer. The nurse said we could go in two at a time. Tell you what, when the detective comes out, you can go in first. Be alone with her for a little while, okay?," suggested Xander.  
  
Tara nodded and put her head on Xander's shoulder.  
  
"Thanks," whispered Tara.  
  
"Where's Buffy?," asked Anya.  
  
"She's on the phone with her mother. Safe to say that Joyce is more than happy to hear her daughter's voice," said Giles.  
  
Faith sat apart from the group. No one looked in her direction.  
  
"I think I'll go to the restroom," said Tara.  
  
"I'll go with you," offered Faith, standing up.  
  
"Thanks, but I'll be alright," smiled Tara. "Really."  
  
"Tara, there's something you need to know. Something you need to hear...from me," said Faith, only looking at Tara. Tara hesitated but then nodded. Faith walked with her as they left the group.  
  
"There's no way she isn't involved," said Xander.  
  
"What?," asked Anya.  
  
"Oh, come on. Does anyone really believe that this O'Flynn wanted to kill himself?," asked Xander.  
  
"Well, he wasn't exactly sane," offered Buffy. Xander looked at her and then at Giles.  
  
"Giles?," said Xander. "You think she set him up to avoid prison? Did Faith take him out?"  
  
Giles looked at Buffy. His only response was a slight shrug of the shoulders.  
  
*****  
  
"I'll make this as quick as possible, Willow. I know you're not feeling good."  
  
Willow nodded appreciatively. The left side of her face was swollen, black and blue with some yellow mixed in as well. She was sitting up uncomfortably in her bed.  
  
"This man that attacked you...you never saw him before?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What were you doing in that alley?"  
  
"I got lost. I came to Los Angeles to look for a friend. He's...missing," said Willow.  
  
"Missing?," repeated the detective.  
  
"Yeah. Haven't heard from him in a while...his phone is disconnected. Has an office right around the corner from where...from where I was attacked."  
  
"What's his name?"  
  
"Angel. He's a private investigator, runs..."  
  
"Angel Investigations," finished the detective. "How do you know Angel?"  
  
"I knew him when he lived in Sunnydale. We...we have a mutual friend," said Willow. "Do you know Angel?"  
  
"Yes. We've worked on a few cases together. But I haven't heard from him in a while either."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So...what happened? Something about this assault just isn't making sense to me," said the detective.  
  
Willow tried not to look scared.  
  
"Well, I realized I had made a wrong turn and when I turned around this guy was in the alley behind me. I just figured he was another homeless person looking for money. He...he asked me what time it was...I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I told him I wasn't wearing a watch...and then he asked if I could help him out, give him some money for a cup of coffee," said Willow, swallowing nervously.  
  
"Could you hand me that glass of water, please?," asked Willow.  
  
"Sure. Here."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Willow took a few sips from the glass, keeping her eye on the detective.  
  
"So...he, uh...I told him I didn't have any money, which was true! I mean, if I had some I would've given him something, you know? He didn't believe me. And then...and then he got very angry. There was a piece of wood on the ground...he picked it up...and he hit me, in the side...and then..."  
  
Willow began to cry.  
  
"I'm sorry," said Willow, looking away.  
  
"It's okay. You're doing great. You don't remember anything else after he hit you in the head, obviously," said the detective.  
  
"No," sniffed Willow.  
  
"Did he seem suicidal or act strangely in any way?," asked the detective.  
  
"No. But...but he did say something about...demons. That he could see demons. I don't think he was completely sane."  
  
"Demons?," repeated the detective, quickly writing something down in her notebook. "No, it doesn't sound like he was in his right mind. One last thing. Was there anyone else in the alley, any witnesses?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Because we have one witness..."  
  
The detective flipped through her notebook.  
  
"Yes, the girl who found you. Tara Maclay. She first told the paramedics that she thought she saw a brunette girl running away from the alley, although I guess she's now saying that she's not sure, that it might've just been someone jogging. But you didn't see anyone?"  
  
"No," said Willow firmly.  
  
"You know this Tara, don't you Willow?"  
  
"Yes. She..."  
  
Willow turned and stared the detective in the eye.  
  
"Tara is my girlfriend."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Detective Lockley, what doesn't make sense to you?"  
  
"Well, this man, a Mr. Jack O'Flynn, wasn't homeless. Still had his wallet on him, with several hundred dollars in it. Strange that he would be asking for money from you, isn't it?"  
  
Willow ignored the question.  
  
"We found his car. It was parked across the street from Angel's office. I just can't imagine this guy wanting to kill himself. Can you?," asked the detective.  
  
"No," admitted Willow.  
  
"Not much to go on. Hopefully another witness will turn up."  
  
"Are we done, Detective Lockley? I'd like to see my friends now."  
  
"Of course. I'll be in touch if I have any other questions. I'm sorry your visit to LA had to be like this. Not sure why, but I can only assume this guy felt remorse for his actions and, maybe because of the influence of alcohol, took his own life. We might never really know," shrugged the detective.  
  
"Remorse," whispered Willow, shaking her head.  
  
"Thank you, Willow. I have some papers for you to sign, some formalities to wrap up with your statement. I'll bring them by later. Get some rest. I hope you feel better soon."  
  
"Thank you," replied Willow flatly.  
  
*****  
  
Tara washed her hands in the sink and dried them off with a paper towel. Faith was staring at her but she ignored her.  
  
"You couldn't just have said that they struggled for the gun and it went off? You had to do that to her?," asked Tara, still not looking at Faith.  
  
"Tara, even though he isn't much bigger than Willow, how would she be able to explain her wrestling the gun from him? Is she strong enough to not only turn the gun against him, but to raise it to his head as well?"  
  
Faith reached over and touched Tara's arm so that she would look at her.  
  
"This was the perfect alibi. She was unconscious when the ambulance got there. Even I remember how bad a liar Willow is. I'm sorry, I know it sucks. I was just trying to help," frowned Faith.  
  
Tara looked down and nodded. Then she took a deep breath and let it out.  
  
"Hey, if anything, I put my own neck in the noose. I mean, what if someone saw me? How would I explain..."   
  
"Faith?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Just go."  
  
"Wh...what?"  
  
"You heard me," said Tara, glaring at Faith. She turned and left the restroom.  
  
Faith watched as the door slowly closed. The room seemed too quiet when the door clicked shut. Her attention was drawn to the drip of the water faucet. Faith leaned forward, gripping the sides of the sink with both hands. She closed her eyes and gripped the sink even harder. The anger rose within her and she welcomed it. This she understood. This she could lose herself in, could hide behind like so many times before. But this time it wasn't working. Faith closed her eyes tightly shut, trying to force back the tears.  
  
She didn't realize that her body was trembling until she opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. Faith turned and almost didn't make it to the toilet before she threw up.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy sat down in a chair in front of Willow's room.  
  
"You're mom maybe just a little bit relieved?," asked Xander.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Okay, let's leave these two alone," said Xander, taking Anya's hand.  
  
"Xander, you...you don't have to go," said Buffy, standing up.  
  
"Nah. You need some time alone," replied Xander, glancing at Giles.  
  
"Oh, does that mean we get some time alone?," asked Anya excitedly. Xander rolled his eyes. Buffy watched them as they left, then turned to face Giles. He smiled at her.  
  
"This is the first time we've been alone since...," began Giles. Buffy nodded.  
  
"How are you doing?," he asked, reaching out to touch Buffy's arm. But Buffy lowered her arm before he could touch it. She looked up at him, trying to ignore the look of confusion on his face.  
  
"Alright, I guess. Giles, there's something I need to tell you. And I don't know how to explain it so...so just hear me out. Okay?"  
  
Giles nodded.  
  
"I'm kinda weirded out right now. See, I'm having trouble remembering things."  
  
"Well, that's understandable," interrupted Giles.  
  
"No. You don't understand. I can't remember anything, and even what I can is...very confusing. It's all...it's like I can feel the emotions I went through and, and I see glimpses of places...or faces...but I don't remember being there. Or seeing these people. Am I...am I making any sense?," asked Buffy sadly.  
  
Giles stood there for a moment.  
  
"Maybe...maybe it's just like a temporary amnesia. Perhaps your mind is just trying to protect you, like when a person can't remember being in an accident. Or, or maybe it's a side effect of the spell. Or..."  
  
Giles looked at Buffy, suddenly scared by how sad she looked. And then he felt nauseous.  
  
"My God. Buffy...what's the last thing you can clearly remember?," asked Giles anxiously.  
  
Buffy winced.  
  
"I was standing outside of your door. It was raining. And I was cold."  
  
Giles felt the room began to spin and had to sit down in a chair.  
  
"Giles?," said Buffy loudly, placing a hand on his shoulder. She knelt down beside him.  
  
"Buffy," whispered Giles, shaking his head.  
  
"Giles please. I need time. You're going to have to be patient with me. Maybe I'll remember. But...Giles, I'm scared. I have all these conflicting emotions, and, and they're all mixing together. I can't make sense of it. I'm going to need your help. But...but not just yet. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe...Giles?," said Buffy, looking up at him.  
  
Giles face was empty, as if someone had just died. She remembered seeing that look on his face once before.  
  
"Buffy...I need to get some air. I'll...I'll be right back."  
  
Giles stood and quickly walked down the hall. Buffy closed her eyes and rested her head against the chair.  
  
"Giles...I'm sorry," whispered Buffy. But only a passing nurse heard her.   
  
*****  
  
Tara entered her room and Willow almost cried because she was so happy to see her. Tara practically ran over to the bed as Willow opened her arms to her.  
  
"Hey," said Tara, hugging Willow closely.  
  
"Oh, honey, go easy. The ribs?," winced Willow.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry!," yelped Tara, letting go.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"Sorry," repeated Tara.  
  
"I know...I'm hideous," pouted Willow.  
  
Tara laughed and shook her head.  
  
"Impossible. You're just too damn beautiful," smiled Tara.  
  
Willow smiled back, almost embarrassed.  
  
"How's the pain?," asked Tara.  
  
"Just a little headache. You know, like some big elephant is sitting on my head while at the same time whacking me with a sledge hammer?,"  
  
"You know any small elephants?," asked Tara with a straight face, drawing a smile from Willow.  
  
"They did give me some neat pills," grinned Willow. "Oh, how's Buffy? Is she..."  
  
"Our old Buffy is back, safe and sound. The tattoo on her arm is gone. I guess when..."  
  
Tara stopped, seeing how quickly Willow became upset.  
  
"Tara, I have something to tell you. And, and you're not going to like it. I'm...I'm afraid that...that you're not going to like me," said Willow, tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"See, that's where you're a dummy," said Tara, sitting down on the bed beside Willow.  
  
"But...you don't understand..."  
  
Tara silenced Willow with a kiss on the lips, letting it linger for a moment. She took Willow's hands into her own.  
  
"Darling, I know. Faith told me."  
  
"Tara...I'm sorry. My God, I can't imagine what you think of me," cried Willow.  
  
"Willow. Did you ever stop to consider that O'Flynn's spell may have been at work in you?"  
  
"Huh? But...but I didn't have the mark."  
  
"Neither did Buffy. Not at first. And look at the way she was acting before the mark appeared on her," said Tara.  
  
Willow considered this. Tara gently raised her chin so that Willow looked into her eyes.  
  
"I know my Willow, and you're no killer."  
  
"But I am," answered Willow.  
  
"No. You saved Buffy's life."  
  
"Does that make what I did right? Is that how I justify pulling that trigger?," begged Willow. "Was there any other way?"   
  
"The girl I love is not a killer," smiled Tara.  
  
Willow tried to smile but couldn't.  
  
"Tara?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hold me?," said Willow, her voice small.  
  
Tara gently held Willow, letting her rest her head against her shoulder. She rubbed Willow's back with one hand and, only because Willow couldn't see, allowed herself to cry.  
  
*****  
  
Faith was splashing water on her face when Detective Lockley walked into the restroom. Their eyes met but Faith couldn't read the emotion in Kate's face.  
  
"You know this Willow Rosenberg?," asked the detective. Faith nodded.  
  
"Back in Sunnydale...she was a friend of Angel's," replied Faith.  
  
"How...interesting. Yes, how very interesting," smiled Kate. "Think I'll find any of your fingerprints in that alley, Faith?"   
  
Kate let Faith think about that and then went into one of the stalls. Faith dried her face with a paper towel and left, trying not to think about what Detective Lockley had said.  
  
*****  
  
The nurse adjusted her bandage and she winced.  
  
"Sorry," said the nurse with a shrug. "Not much we can do for fractured ribs. You were lucky. If a little more force had been used we'd be treating you for a punctured lung."  
  
Willow glanced across the room but her visitor quickly looked away.  
  
"Yeah. Lucky," she repeated flatly.  
  
"How's your headache?," asked the nurse.  
  
"Better," she lied.   
  
The nurse looked at her and smiled. Without realizing it she absently brushed her red hair forward, trying to cover the ugly bruise around her left eye.  
  
"I'm just down the hall. If you need anything, anything at all, just use the buzzer."  
  
Willow nodded but didn't make eye contact with the nurse.  
  
"Wish all my patients were this much trouble," sighed the nurse as she left. Not two seconds later Detective Lockley returned with Buffy. Buffy smiled at her and took a seat as far away from her visitor as possible. The tension between the two was palpable even to the detective.  
  
"I know you've signed your statement and that you must be very tired, but I just need to go over a couple of things and then I'll be gone. So...," began the detective, flipping through her notebook and rereading what she had wrote, "you said that you had never seen this man before last night."  
  
The detective looked up but got no reaction. Just a cold stare. She looked back at her notes.  
  
"He told you something about demons and he got upset. At this point did he have the gun in his hand or the two by four?"  
  
"Uh...I, I don't remember. Wait, I never saw the gun."  
  
"You don't remember?," asked the detective with a frown. "Well, did he pick up that piece of wood from the ground or was it already in his hand when you first saw him?"  
  
"Oh, uh...picked it up. Of course, he picked it up. What would he be doing with..."  
  
"And he hit you first in the ribs and then the head. Or was it the other way around? Head first, then the ribs?," she interrupted.  
  
"I've already told you this. Twice. What's your point?," demanded Willow, getting angry.  
  
"Sorry. Just following procedure. One last question and I'm outta here; did your friend here see him hit you?," asked the detective, jabbing her thumb behind her in the direction of the Faith.   
  
"If she did I wasn't aware of it," Willow snapped back. "I already told you..."  
  
"Fine. Thank you for your time. I'll be in touch."  
  
The detective turned and faced Faith.   
  
"Somehow I get the feeling that you're involved. I can't prove it, but if I do, you're going back to prison. For a long time."  
  
Faith didn't even look up at her, but kept her eyes on the floor.  
  
"Detective Lockley, are you calling me a liar?"  
  
The detective turned around to face Willow, who was now leaning forward as if she wanted to get out of bed.  
  
"What? Uh, no...no, I didn't mean to imply..."  
  
"Good. I didn't think you had a pair big enough for that. Now get the hell out of this room and don't let me see your God damned face again!"  
  
The detective just stood there for a moment, speechless. She glanced back at Faith but her eyes were wide open and staring at the Willow. Without a word the Detective Lockley stormed out of the room.   
  
Willow's hands tightened on the covers beside her. Ever so slowly her lower lip began to tremble. As hard as she tried she couldn't stop the tears from coming. Buffy stood up and took a step towards her. And froze as a hand gently tugged at her sleeve. She looked down at the hand and not at the face behind it.  
  
Faith stood up and Willow opened her arms to her. Buffy watched wide eyed as they hugged. Willow's body shook with sobs and she held the other girl tightly, as if she was terrified to let go.   
  
"Faith...make it stop," begged Willow, her voice small, less than a whisper. "How do you make it stop? Every time...every time I shut my eyes I see him. Oh God, what have I done?"  
  
"Willow, it's too soon. You just have to ride it out for a while. I know you feel alone, but I'm here. And I know what you're going through. Believe me...I know."  
  
Willow could no longer speak. She gave in to the tears and Faith let her cry, gently stroking her hair with one hand. Buffy felt her legs give out and collapsed into the chair. She wasn't upset that Willow had sought out Faith to seek comfort in instead of her. Buffy had simply realized what Willow had done.  
  
END OF PART ELEVEN  
  
PART TWELVE  
  
"She's doing great, Cordy. We're taking her home today. They only held her overnight for observation," said Buffy.  
  
"That's good. Tell her I'm thinking about her. Poor kid. But you know, it still doesn't make sense. This guy beats her and then offs himself? I don't get it. Maybe that detective will find out something about him."  
  
"Yeah. Maybe."  
  
"Sure you don't want to stick around for a day or two? If we can find Angel, maybe you can talk some sense into him. I'm worried about him, Buffy. He'd listen to you," said Cordelia.  
  
"No, I can't. Not with Glory around. But you have to call us, keep us up to date. Okay?"  
  
"Well, duh!," teased Cordelia.  
  
"And Cordy? I'm really sorry about the whole neck thing," cringed Buffy.  
  
"Good. You should be," said Cordelia adamantly.  
  
"Bye, Cordy," smiled Buffy.  
  
"Bye."  
  
Buffy hung up the phone.  
  
"Same old Cordy."  
  
*****  
  
Faith stood in the doorway of Willow's room. She was about to knock to announce her presence but saw that Willow seemed to be sleeping. Unsure of what to do, she turned to leave.  
  
"Faith, it's okay. I'm not sleeping."  
  
Faith turned back and smiled for Willow.  
  
"You, uh, getting any sleep at all?"  
  
"Not much," replied Willow. "Actually...none."  
  
Faith nodded with a knowing smile.  
  
"I was just..."  
  
"Come on in," interrupted Willow, sitting up and wincing. "Damn. Wish I had a Slayer's healing powers right about now."  
  
"I'm sorry," frowned Faith.  
  
"Hey. Not your fault. It was my choice."  
  
Faith walked over to the bed.  
  
"Have a seat," offered Willow.  
  
"Nah, I can't stay. Got places to be, ya know?"  
  
"Aren't you going to wait for Buffy?," asked Willow, surprised.  
  
Faith shook her head.  
  
"Buffy's been through a lot. And not just this past week. She's not ready to deal with...with our issues. Not yet," said Faith.  
  
"Maybe. But soon..."  
  
"Soon," interrupted Faith quickly. "I know."  
  
"Faith, where are you going to go?"  
  
"I'm going to look for Angel. Figure out what's up with our legendary brooder. Maybe it's just a midlife crisis, ya know?," laughed Faith. "And maybe I can help him. He helped me. Big time. It's not like I can leave LA anytime soon, what with my probation and all," shrugged Faith.  
  
Neither of them knew what to say next.  
  
"So, I guess I should get going, right?," announced Faith, turning to leave.  
  
"Faith, wait."  
  
Faith turned her head but her body still faced the door.  
  
"I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. I owe you."  
  
"Whatever. No big," smiled Faith.  
  
Willow reached out and grabbed her wrist.  
  
"No. It is big. I mean it. I really do. You didn't have to..."  
  
"It's okay. I get the message," said Faith uncomfortably. Willow let go of her wrist and smiled. And then Faith smiled.  
  
"Re...Willow. You're going to be fine. What you're going through...it's like when you were little and learning how to ride a bike for the first time. You're all alone and no one can help you and you're afraid. And you're going to fall. You can't prevent it. Now you can either get back up and try again or you can quit. Doesn't matter how many times you fall, it's what you do after that counts. At least you have friends. Even if they don't catch you, they will be there to help you up. You...you're not alone."  
  
"Oh, Faith," said Willow, her voice full of sympathy.  
  
Faith just smiled, but it was an empty smile.  
  
"So, you learn how to deal. But you don't forget, do you?," asked Willow.  
  
"Never."  
  
Faith's one word answer held so much more depth of meaning than Willow had expected.  
  
"You're going to get through this. You're a lot tougher than you think," said Faith.  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"Trust me," smiled Faith.  
  
And Willow smiled.  
  
"Gotta go," said Faith. Willow nodded.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"One word."  
  
Faith gave Willow a puzzled look.  
  
"Soon," said Willow.  
  
Faith hesitated but then nodded.  
  
"Yeah."   
  
*****  
  
"What's taking so long?," sighed Buffy, again looking at the clock.  
  
"Paperwork," mumbled Giles. He looked up at Willow with an encouraging smile. "I'm sure it won't be much longer."  
  
Willow, sitting on the edge of her bed, nodded but didn't smile.  
  
"Willow, where's Tara? I mean, I just thought...shouldn't she be here?," asked a confused Buffy.  
  
Willow couldn't hide her smile.  
  
"It's okay, Buffy. I know about the party," said Willow.  
  
"Party?," repeated Buffy.  
  
"You don't have to pretend. Tara confessed...she, uh, told me about it last night. Oh, did I ever mention how ticklish that girl is?," asked Willow with a knowing smile.  
  
"Party?," repeated Buffy.  
  
"The welcome home party for me. Xander took her and Anya home. She's helping Dawn decorate the Magic shop," said Willow with a frown. "You know, that was really nice of Anya to come up here last night to see me. It was really...unexpected."   
  
"Um, Willow? The surprise party was for both of you. Buffy didn't know about it," said Giles.  
  
"Oh. Oh," whined Willow with an understanding pout.  
  
Buffy smiled at her friend's embarrassment.  
  
"Surprise," said Willow with a shrug.   
  
"Willow, can I ask you something?," tried Buffy, her voice small and full of hesitation.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"How did you know?," asked Buffy.  
  
"I just told you...oh, you're not talking about the party, are you?," asked Willow nervously.  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Know?," repeated Willow, bringing her hands together in her lap. She began to absently rub her thumbs together.  
  
"When you...when Mr. Flynn died, how did you know the spell would be broken?"  
  
Giles looked as if he was going to interrupt but then he just closed his eyes. Willow didn't notice. She looked at the floor and didn't answer Buffy.  
  
"Willow?," said Buffy, stepping to her and placing a hand on her arm. Willow took a deep, labored breath and closed her eyes.  
  
"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to..."  
  
"I didn't," whispered Willow, keeping her eyes closed. Buffy felt her body stiffen to her touch.  
  
"Wh...what?"  
  
"I didn't know," said Willow, only a little louder. She opened her eyes but wouldn't look at Buffy.  
  
"It didn't matter. I didn't care. I...I just hated him so much at that moment, that he was hurting you..."  
  
Willow couldn't finish and began to cry. Buffy quickly held her but Willow didn't raise her arms to return the embrace.  
  
"Will, you were under the spell too. That's why you did it."  
  
"But...but the mark...I didn't have the mark," sobbed Willow.  
  
"And neither did I! Not at first, but wasn't I acting differently before it appeared?," asked Buffy. "Aggressive much, was I?"  
  
"That's, that's what Tara said. And I keep telling myself that...but that's not what I feel. Not in my heart," sighed Willow.  
  
Buffy leaned back, her face close to Willow's.  
  
"Oh, and another thing. When I woke up at Cordelia's, I knew something was wrong, that you were in trouble. I could feel it. Now, you're my bestest friend, but do we have that kind of connection? We were linked by the spell," assured Buffy.  
  
"Maybe," shrugged Willow.  
  
"You are not a killer! You know that! Shh...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Will, I'm sorry, it's going to be okay. I promise," sniffed Buffy, hugging her tighter. Willow finally raised her arms and returned the hug, crying on Buffy's shoulder.  
  
"I know it hurts, and I'm going to be there for you. And so will Tara, and Xander...we all will. You know that. Willow, you saved my life. Has that kicked in yet? I would have died," said Buffy, leaning back and holding Willow's face in her hands. Willow smiled through quivering lips and nodded.  
  
"But I didn't know. I hoped, but..."  
  
"Shh. Not now," encouraged Buffy.  
  
"Insane or not, Mr. O'Flynn was a fool. There's evil in all of us. There are no exceptions. If he could truly sense...what I mean is that he could have cursed anyone," said Giles awkwardly. Buffy smiled.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"What?," smiled Buffy, wiping away Willow's tears with her thumbs.  
  
"You really don't remember? Anything?," sniffed Willow.  
  
"It's hard to explain," shrugged Buffy, suddenly very aware that Giles was standing behind her. She stepped back so that she could see him as well and took a deep breath.  
  
"I remember emotions and sensations. Like intense anger and heat becoming one. Physical pain like darkness, wild mood swings of incredible happiness, numbing fear...being very content one moment and being paralyzed by a crippling emptiness of being alone. It's all so confusing. I see snippets of places I don't remember going to, flashes of people's faces...I'm not making much sense, am I?," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Perhaps it's like amnesia. Maybe your memory will return. In time," added Giles, unable to return Buffy's stare.  
  
"Buffy, what's the last thing you remember?," asked Willow, wiping her face with the palms of her hands.  
  
"It was raining. And I was cold...and standing in front of Giles' door."  
  
Giles finally looked at Buffy. And his eyes couldn't hide the fear and pain that up until now he had been able to mask from her. She knew he was pleading with her to remember. And she knew he couldn't express himself in any other way.  
  
"Did I embarrass myself? Did I hurt anyone?," said Buffy out loud to the room. Willow looked at Giles but he didn't speak. Buffy turned and fully faced her Watcher.  
  
"Giles...is there anything you want to tell me? Anything?," whispered Buffy.  
  
Giles glanced at Willow. She stared at him and gave him a nod of encouragement.  
  
"Only...only that we were all very concerned, of course. And that each of us, in our own way, did everything they could to take care of you as best they knew how."  
  
Willow's mouth dropped open and her eyes turned to watch Buffy's reaction. Buffy only nodded.  
  
"I think I'll go see what's taking that nurse so long," announced Giles. He turned and left the room. Buffy staggered back and collapsed into a chair. She wouldn't look at Willow.  
  
"Uh, Buffy, wait here. Just for a minute...in case the nurse comes back or, or something," said Willow jumping to her feet. "There's...I have to ask Giles something."  
  
Willow didn't wait for an answer. Buffy nodded her head slowly but didn't look up. Willow ran down the hall to catch up with Giles.  
  
"Giles, wait!"  
  
Giles stopped but hesitated before turning to face Willow. He looked at her but didn't say anything. Willow glanced over her shoulder to make sure Buffy was out of earshot.  
  
"You have to tell her!," cried Willow.  
  
"Willow, she doesn't remember."  
  
"But, but..."  
  
"You didn't see how she pulled away when I touched her last night. It was the spell. That's the only reason she...it's better this way," said Giles, finding it difficult to look into Willow's eyes.  
  
"No! No, it was...okay, I don't know why she pulled away. But that's not important! You can't just walk away from this. Buffy needs you!," cried Willow.  
  
"I'm still her Watcher," replied Giles.  
  
"Still her...are you going to stand there and tell me you don't have feelings for her?," demanded Willow, trying to keep her voice low. Giles looked away as if she had punched him in the stomach.  
  
"Oh, Giles, I'm sorry! I didn't mean...of course you have feelings for her. That wasn't just stupid, that was mean. Cordelia mean," sighed Willow.  
  
"Willow, who are we kidding? It was the spell. Why else would Buffy...I remember her first day of college. Or was it her second day? She came over when Olivia had spent the night. She was very upset at seeing Olivia, especially since she was only wearing one of my shirts."  
  
"So, maybe Buffy was...jealous?," offered Willow.  
  
Giles laughed.  
  
"I asked her if it was okay with her that I had a private life. She said no, that I was very, very old and it was gross," said Giles, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.   
  
"Giles, you know how she sometimes talks before thinking about what she's really saying. Unless..."  
  
Giles put his glasses back on.  
  
"Did you ever consider that she lashed out at you because she really was jealous?," asked Willow, knowingly tilting her head just slightly.  
  
Giles winced, but not because of what Willow had said. Had he missed something? Had Buffy, even then, been trying to tell him something? Could he really have been that blind?  
  
"Giles, you heard her. She remembers being very happy. Hell, she used the word content. When was the last time you heard her say that?," asked Willow.  
  
"When she talked to me about Riley," replied Giles.  
  
Willow shook her head, trying not to get angry.  
  
"I won't lie to you. For the first time since Jenny, I found...happiness. But Buffy doesn't remember. It was the spell. And the spell is broken," sighed Giles.  
  
"No. There had to be something there in the first place for her to...well, you know."  
  
"Need me?," suggested Giles.  
  
"Love you," corrected Willow. "Giles, maybe her memory will return. Just a little at a time. And with you there, beside her, helping her to remember..."  
  
Giles' shoulders sagged and he leaned up against the wall behind him.  
  
"Don't you think that's what I want?," said Giles, his head drooping forward. "Willow, I just don't know what to do. I don't."  
  
Instead of feeling sorry for him, Willow was surprised at how afraid she suddenly felt. She grabbed both of his arms and forced him to look at her.  
  
"Giles, trust your heart. Please?," begged Willow.  
  
Giles thought for a moment and then slowly nodded.  
  
"I am. And that's why she must never know," said Giles softly but with conviction.  
  
"Huh? Did I miss something here?," asked Willow, confused.  
  
"If this was meant to be, it will happen. Again. But I shall not force it."  
  
Willow let go of his arms.  
  
"Giles, please...think about what you're doing. If not for her, than for the both of you!"  
  
Giles lowered his head again, unable to look at Willow. Perhaps for the first time since he had known her he thought of Willow as an adult, no longer the innocent child, his Slayer's best friend. Willow touched his chin and raised his head up, forcing him to look at her.  
  
"Buffy will die young. We all know that but we never talk about it, we avoid that subject at all cost. But there it is. I said it. Don't you think she has a right to be happy? After all she has sacrificed, and will again? Giles...it just isn't fair," sniveled Willow, her voice cracking as the tears formed at the corner of her eyes.  
  
"Life is never fair," whispered Giles.  
  
"Please reconsider, Giles. Please."  
  
"Willow, you must promise me...you must...to never tell Buffy. Xander, Tara, Anya...they can't tell her. Ever. She mustn't know."  
  
"Don't ask me that. Anything but that," cried Willow.  
  
"Willow, please! I can't do this alone. I can't," repeated Giles, tears in his own eyes now.  
  
Willow closed her eyes and reluctantly nodded her head.  
  
"I promise...damn you, I promise!," sobbed Willow.  
  
Giles hugged her, both to comfort her and to hide his own tears from her.  
  
"But...you were so happy," whispered Willow.  
  
Giles didn't say anything.   
  
*****  
  
Buffy entered the Magic Shop and immediately caught Anya's attention. Anya looked up from the book she was reading and realized that it was too late to pretend she was busy. She sighed and waited for Buffy to walk over to her.  
  
"Hey," said Buffy, taking a deep breath.  
  
"Hi, Buffy. How...how are you feeling?," asked Anya, not trying to hide how uncomfortable she was being alone with Buffy.  
  
"Better. Much so. Anya, you know I don't remember much. But I've been told that I was, well, kinda mean to you. Just wanted to say how sorry I am. Oh, I, uh, got you a little something," said Buffy, nervously putting a small wrapped box onto the counter in front of Anya.  
  
"So this would be a peace offering? I'm familiar with the ritual, Buffy. Xander's used it once or twice himself, but you don't have to buy me anything. I understand what happened to you," said Anya, forcing a smile.  
  
"I'm not trying to...what I mean is...see, Xander is very important to me. In a safe, non-sexual way, of course," added Buffy quickly. "And I know that you make him happy. Very happy. So...that makes you important to me. Do, do you understand what I'm trying to say?," asked Buffy, trying not to pout.   
  
"I do. I really do. Thank you," said Anya, genuinely touched by her words. "And thank you for the gift."  
  
"Open it," smiled Buffy.  
  
Anya grinned like a child on Christmas morning. She ripped off the paper and opened the box. Inside was a pair of silver hoop earrings.  
  
"Oh, Buffy. They're beautiful," said Anya, running her fingers over them.  
  
"Thought they'd look good on you," nodded Buffy.   
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Whatcha reading?," asked Buffy, tilting her head to look at the spine of the book. Anya lifted it up so that she could see.  
  
"It's something Willow gave to me. Emily Dickinson. Said I had to read it slowly so that I could think about what she was trying to say. Unlike my other reading material," smiled Anya. She opened to book to a marked page and began to read.  
  
"If I can stop one heart from breaking I shall not live in vain..."  
  
"If I can ease one life the aching or cool one pain...," finished Buffy, suddenly distant.  
  
Anya looked up, surprised. Buffy smiled, but just for a moment.  
  
"Oh, I had a friend, back in high school. He really liked Emily Dickinson. In fact he...he introduced me to her," explained Buffy.  
  
"Know what I think?,' asked Anya.  
  
"What?"  
  
"This was one depressed chick. Talk about needing a lover in her life! Whew!"  
  
Buffy smiled again.  
  
"I gotta run, do a few things. But I'll be back later."  
  
"Thanks again," said Anya.  
  
"Thank you. About Xander...I meant what I said."  
  
"I know," nodded Anya.  
  
*****   
  
Dawn stood in Buffy's doorway but her sister lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and didn't notice her. Dawn reached in and knocked on the door. Buffy, startled, looked over at her and then smiled.  
  
"Hey," said Dawn.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Sure," answered Buffy, sitting up and patting the bed next to her. Dawn smiled and quickly sat down next beside her.  
  
"Tough week, huh?," said Dawn.  
  
Buffy nodded and sadly looked at her hands.  
  
"So...you really don't remember anything? That must be so...weird," said Dawn.  
  
"You have no idea," sighed Buffy.  
  
Dawn reached over and took her hand in hers. Buffy smiled.  
  
"There are some things that seem clearer to me than others. You know what the worst thing was?," asked Buffy.  
  
"Kissing Spike?"  
  
"No, actually that wasn't...um, right, that was gross. Disgusting even," nodded Buffy. "But no, the one thing that wigs me the most is me not knowing you were my sister. Big time wig. And it must've scared you, too," added Buffy, covering Dawn's hand with both of hers. "I'm sorry.'  
  
"That's okay. I know you didn't mean it," replied Dawn, embarrassed but still very happy.  
  
"Dawn, I would do anything for you. I love you," said Buffy, giving her hand a little squeeze.  
  
"Me too. Now stop with the maudlin already," said Dawn, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Alright," smiled Buffy, letting go of Dawn's hands.  
  
"Buffy, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Well, the thing is...see, I've never had a boyfriend before, and I was wondering...uh, what I mean is..."  
  
Dawn glanced at Buffy and then looked away. Buffy didn't say anything, knowing that her sister would eventually blurt out what she needed to express.  
  
"Okay, I've seen what you went through with Angel. I've seen what Willow went through with Oz. And now, you and Riley...well..."  
  
"And you're wondering if it's all worth it?"  
  
Dawn looked at Buffy, smiled and nodded. Buffy didn't hesitate.  
  
"Oh yeah. It's worth it. Not that you're ready for dating!," warned Buffy.  
  
Dawn raised one side of her mouth in a half frown.  
  
"Dawn, is there a boy you're interested in at school?," inquired Buffy.  
  
"No! Like they'd notice me anyway," frowned Dawn.  
  
"Oh, they will. And soon. That's one promise I know I can keep," teased Buffy. Dawn smiled but still had her doubts.  
  
"Buffy, what would you do if someone asked you out? I mean, are you going to wait for Riley? You think he's coming back?"  
  
"Wow, um...I don't know. I do hope he comes back. There's so much I want to say to him, so much...as for dating again? Sorry. I'm just not ready yet," said Buffy, shaking her head.  
  
"But...you said it was worth it. How are you going to know if you don't take the chance?," asked Dawn.   
  
Buffy took a deep breath and looked at her sister. She was growing up. Fast.  
  
"It's a little different with me, I think. I can't really hide the fact the I'm the Slayer from someone and at the same time have a meaningful relationship. Not one built on trust, anyhow. And, and then this person would get all worried every time I went on patrol..."  
  
"Everyone worries about that, Buffy. We just don't talk about it," said Dawn.  
  
Buffy smiled and lay her head down in Dawn's lap, just like she had done with Buffy so many times before. Dawn ran her fingers through Buffy's hair as they talked.  
  
"I know. And I try not to think about it. About what you and mom and the others would go through if something happened to me. I mean, I can't think about it, you know?"  
  
"And Giles."  
  
"Huh?," asked Buffy.  
  
"You didn't mention Giles," said Dawn.  
  
"Oh. He was included in the others part."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Maybe..."  
  
"Maybe what?," asked Dawn.  
  
Buffy took a deep breath before continuing.  
  
"Maybe that's why I didn't give my heart over to Riley completely. Because I didn't want to think about him, about what would happen if I...well, you know. But I'm sorry I didn't. He deserved that. He really did."  
  
"He'll come back. You'll see," said Dawn.  
  
"I hope so. Oh, and as far as me dating again? No, thank you. It just isn't fair to the other person. Or to me. I won't let him love me...I won't...because I don't want to get hurt again," whispered Buffy, wiping a tear from her eye. "And I don't want to hurt him."  
  
Buffy, you're talking like you already have someone in mind."  
  
"No. No, there's no one," swallowed Buffy.  
  
"You'd rather be alone?"  
  
"No. But there's no way this can have a happy ending," sighed Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, you don't get it, do you? We're all alone. Isn't that the point of finding another person?"  
  
Buffy tilted her head back and looked up at Dawn.  
  
"Wow. When did my baby sister get all grown up on me? Where was I?," asked Buffy with a grin.  
  
"You were right here. All the time," smiled Dawn.   
  
*****  
  
Giles sat on the edge of his bed and took another gulp of scotch straight from the bottle. He forced himself to look to his left. The photo of Buffy and him was propped up against the pillow. Giles filled the empty glass he held in his other hand with more of the amber colored liquor and placed the bottle on the floor. He ran his hand over his chin and stood up.  
  
Taking only a sip this time, he put the glass on his dresser. The booze, as much as he had consumed, didn't seem to be helping. Giles slowly reached for the picture frame and stared at it, wondering why the image seemed to be from so long ago. He took a deep breath and shook his head.  
  
Giles turned and pulled open the top drawer of his dresser. Moving aside several socks and undershirts, he cleared out a corner. And even though he knew it was there, seeing the rose quartz pendant that had been Jenny's sent a chill through him. He quickly turned the frame over, fighting the temptation to look at it just one more time, and set it down next to the pendant. Giles pushed shut the drawer.  
  
The room suddenly seemed smaller and yet more empty than it had been a few moments ago. Giles grabbed the glass and drained half of what was in it, the burning in his throat forcing him to close his eyes. When he was able to open them again his eyes were drawn to the bed.  
  
It was so easy, too easy, to imagine her there again, to be able to lose himself in her...to remember the vanilla fragrance of her hair as he held her...  
  
His right hand was shaking and Giles had to hold the glass with both hands to steady it. As hard as he tried he couldn't tear his eyes from the bed. So Giles simply closed them. And then, driven by the anger that was rising like bile in his throat, he hurled the glass against the far wall. The sound of the shattering glass didn't even register with him.  
  
Giles sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, and gave up the fight. A low moan of pain escaped him as he desperately tried to breathe between the sobs that gripped him. Part of him wished that the pain would never end. But another part of him knew that in the morning he would have to be there for her.  
  
*****   
  
Buffy sat down on the edge of her bed. Joyce was at the gallery, Dawn was at school and the house was very quiet. Too quiet. But it was better to be here than to have to face Willow. Or Giles.  
  
She saw the frame and the broken glass still lying on her dresser. Dawn must have picked it up. Buffy looked away but knew she couldn't ignore it. Taking a deep breath, she leaned over and carefully picked up the frame, keeping it face down on her lap. Her mouth suddenly seemed dry and she found it difficult to swallow. Buffy's right hand began to tremble and she knew that if she didn't look at the photo now she never would be able to.  
  
With a sigh that had no breath behind it she flipped the frame over. The photo was only covered by half a pane of glass, broken in diagonal from the upper left of the frame to the lower right. And there they were, her arm around his waist, his arm across her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. The smiles were the same but to Buffy they no longer seemed happy. Rather, they now appeared empty, haunting in their simplicity.  
  
Even as she ran her fingers gently over his face Buffy felt the tears begin. She didn't even try to hold them back. She took her right hand and touched her shoulder where his arm had rested. It was so easy to imagine the warmth of his touch against her skin. Buffy closed her eyes, unable to look at the photo anymore. The frame slipped from her fingers and crashed to the floor.  
  
Buffy fell on her side and buried her face into her pillow, her body wracked with sobs. Even though the house was empty, she didn't want anyone to hear. She couldn't let them know. Ever. Her fingers dug into her palms until she drew blood as her body begged for physical pain so that it could flee the anguish that gripped her now.   
  
But there was no release. There was no one there for her. Buffy, like Faith, was alone.  
  
THE END  
  
"Faith...she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me." - Buffy  
  
"No way. Some people just don't have that in them." - Willow   
  
  
  
  



End file.
